Cheeta, the oldest living chimp and Tarzan co-star, has "written" an autobiography of sorts titled "Me Cheeta" and fans are puzzled as to who actually wrote the thing:
In the book, Cheeta describes Rex Harrison, his co-star in Dr Dolittle, as "that marvellous light comedian", but then calls him a "universally despised, impotent alcoholic" who tried to murder him by getting him to fall out of a tree.
If Marlene Dietrich was a good German, writes Cheeta, "then the bad ones must be absolutely f***ing terrifying".
Find out who actually wrote it here: Link | Me Cheeta website
I'll be here all week, folks - remember to tip the veal, and try the waitresses...