Alphabet for Beginners by William Hone (c. 1832)

In 1832, English author William Hone (1780 - 1842) published The Year Book of daily Recreation and Information*, an almanac of sorts in which included this quirky and wonderful "Alphabet for Beginners" (amazing they still apply today):

*The complete title is: The Year Book of Daily Recreation and Information;
concerning Remarkable Men and Manners, Times and Seasons, Solemnities and Merry-Makings, Antiquities and Novelties, Forming a Complete History of the Year; and a Perpetual Key to the Almanac
. By William Hone. The book was re-published again and again, with longer and longer title each time.

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Alex - when I heard that one (quick at meat...) I instantly thought of my husband who attacks his meals the way he attacks his work. Then I thought of how my husband is always saying I take longer to eat than anyone in the world and...*gulp*...I guess I am pretty much the same way with my projects! Now I'm not going to be able to stop watching how people eat and trying to figure out if it matches their other activities.

This was such a find! I'm definitely printing this one out and putting it on the fridge.

Anon: That was hilarious! You couldn't have ended it better.

Edie: Maybe instead of wading out into unknown waters you should go in full bore, well prepared, and with confidence? A stretch, I know, but if you want to wax philosphical...
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I'd love to see the slacker's alphabet.
A day not wasted is a wasted day.
Bacon goes well with anything.
Cats eat your food and money, don't get one.
Dogs do too.
Eating is a luxury, your WoW subscription isn't.
F this, 26 is too many damn letters.
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