Bad: Assaulting your mom
Really bad: Stabbing your mom with a fork
Neatorama-worthy: While you're at it, beating another woman with a frozen chicken!
Meet Frederick McKaney, 40, of Ypsilanti, Michigan, who was arraigned in Jackson county courtroom with two felony assaults, one of which is "assault with chicken":
"He stabbed his mother in the back of the neck when she refused to give him money, and then, an hour later, he attacked a neighbor woman with a chicken," Jackson County Chief Assistant Prosecutor Mark Blumer told the Ann Arbor news.
A short time later, he encountered two other women talking on the sidewalk on Woodbridge Street. The woman said he said something nasty to them and hit one of them over the head with 10 pounds of frozen chicken.
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/16715911/detail.html
Fer Christ's sake, boys, you don't need the cash that bad.
It is really REALLY obnoxious.
Dave Donelson, author of Heart of Diamonds
(yeah, I know; no connection. But I just finished reading the telemarketer post comments.
The thing is, if this guy's mother had her own handgun, she could have shot him dead before the felonious assault.
Or if he had his own handgun, he could have gone on a shooting rampage and done a lot more damage - no, wait, folks just don't do that sort of thing.