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Caption Monkey 2: Alligator Knocking

Image Credit: Richard Holinski / Island Packet

A 6-foot-long alligator climbs within inches of the doorbell after knocking into the front door of Roslyn and Robert Loretta's home on Penny Creek Drive in Sun City Hilton Head on Friday night. The reptile apparently was enticed into the couple's yard by the smell of teriyaki chicken. http://www.islandpacket.com/news/local/v-media/story/5795583p-5177865c.html - via Falling Sky

All right - here's where you come in: funniest caption wins a free monkey drawing by Ape Lad of Hobotopia!

Contest rule is simple: write your caption in the comment section (one caption per comment). Make it funny but please keep it civil. You can submit as many comments as you’d like.

Funniest caption will receive a free monkey drawing - you name the monkey, and Ape Lad will draw you one (for example: the Neatorama Monkey and the whole Monkey! set at Flickr). If you don’t win, but still want a monkey, you can buy one directly from him (it’s worth it!)

And congratulations to Jani who won last week's Caption Monkey contest.

Update 7/31/07: Congratulations to L'elk #47 for submitting the winning comment!

Realizing their passive approach isn’t winning them many followers, the Jehovah’s witnesses switch to plan B.
Very Bizarro-esque!


"Captured on film a 'gator attempting to defy evolution and claim the title of the greatest predator known to man: The door-to-door salesman"
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"Good afternoon. No, wait! Don't be alarmed. It's true, I used to be like so many gators, spending my days hanging around in swamps, eating whatever poor creature came my way. But then I discovered the Church of Latter Day Saints, and turned my life around. Can I come in for a moment and talk to you about your relationship with the Lord? I can? Great.

Now, about the Lord? Say hello to him for me, you fat, tasty idiot."

(My favorite so far is the HOOMANBURGER one.)
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At first he was embarrassed that he locked himself out of the house naked. . .but then he remembered he was an alligator and ate those smarmy bastards for laughing at him.
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*bing bong*

You have nothing to fear -
We're not carnivores, we're just doing Atkins.

(shhhh! come on guys, stop giggling! they're buying it!)
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Thank you for calling the Lorettas, please leave your message after the tone... beep...
Hello Mrs. Loretta, this is agent Smith from Sun City PD, I'm sorry we missed you at your home. We found the crocodile-skin purse you lost, and left it at your porch. Have a nice day.
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Oh c'mon people...it's so obvious......
Woman #1: [ moves to chain-locked door ] Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Ramilarghh??

Woman #1: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber..

Woman #1: Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Telegram.

Woman #1: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment.

[ unlocks door, and opens it. The head of the shark appears, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the hallway as she screams. ]

[ SUPER: "Jaws II" ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Sheriff and Matt Hooper looking over a three-foot long metal tub covered with a white cloth ]

Matt Hooper: [ looks under cloth and winces ] Oh, my God!

Sheriff: What was it?

Matt Hooper: Land shark. The cleverest species of them all.

Sheriff:

[ dissolve to Woman #2 in her apartment ]

[ Music: "Jaws Theme ]

[ a knock at the door ]

Woman #2: [ appoaches the door ] Yes?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Arlsbergerhh??

Woman #2: Who?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Johnannesburrrr??

Woman #2: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Flowers.

Woman #2: Flowers? From whom?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber, ma'am..

Woman #2: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Candygram.

Woman #2: Candygram, my foot! Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the shark, and you know it.

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] I'm only a dolphin, ma'am..

Woman #2: A dolphin? Well.. okay..

[ she opens the door, as the shark pulls her screaming into the hallway ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Matt Hooper lifts up cloth napkin covering plate, then winces and looks away ]

Sheriff: What is it?

Matt Hooper: Egg salad again. [ removes sandwich from under napkin, and takes a bite ]

[ dissolve to Woman #3 in her apartment, Woman #2 putting on make-up to go out ]

[ door buzzes ]

Woman #3: Who is it?

Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Land Shark.

Woman #3: [ laughing ] Oh, Walter!

[ she opens door laughing, but is attacked and dragged into the hall by the Land Shark ]

[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Sheriff on phone looking horrified into another rtub covered with cloth ]

Sheriff: [ on phone ] Hello, Walter. I have some good news, and I have some bad news. First, the good news. There's a party tonight at my house. Now, the bad news: you'll be coming stag. Goodbye, Walter..

[ dissolve to Woman #4 in apartment, listening to the radio ]

Radio: ...considered the cleverest of all sharks. Unlike the great white, which tends to inhabit the waters of harbors and recreational beach areas, the Land Shark may strike at any place, any time. It is capable of disguising its voice, and generally preys on young, single women. Experts at the University of Miami's Oceanographic Institute suggest that the best way to scare off the shark in the event of an attack is to hit or punch the predator in the Nose. Now for the weather..

Woman #4: [ turns off radio, as the doorbell rings ] Who is it?

Muffled Voice: Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I'm from the Jehovah's Witnesses, and thought you might be interested in a copy of our journal, "The Watchtower".

Woman #4: [ grabs a mallet and inches towards the door ] Why, I'd be very interested..

Muffled Voice: Would you mind opening the door, ma'am?

Woman #4: Certainly.

[ she unlocks the door a crack, and reaches out with the mallet to strike the Land Shark's head. Instead of the shark, a Jehovah's Witness stumbles into the apartment and drops onto the floor in front of her. ]
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Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I'm from the Jehovah's Witnesses, and thought you might be interested in a copy of our journal, "The Watchtower".
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After another failed attempt to climb up the wall, Mr and Mrs Gecko realised it was time to tell their son he was adopted.
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