Zeon Santos's Blog Posts

Video Essay Explains The DIfference Between Good And Bad CG Visual Effects

Whether you’re a fan of CGI in movies, prefer the practical effects, or simply don’t give a crap about computer generated imagery in cinema one thing’s for certain- you probably don’t know the difference between good and bad CG visual effects.

That’s not to say it takes a trained eye to spot bad CGI, but almost every single movie has some sort of computer generated visual effect applied to it nowadays so it’s hard to tell a good use of digital enhancement from utter rubbish.

(YouTube Link)

This visual essay by Freddie Wong for RocketJump Film School does a really good job of illustrating the difference between good and bad CG VFX, and once you watch the video you'll start spotting all those CG effects you weren't supposed to notice.

-Via Laughing Squid

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Featured Designs from the NeatoShop:

Incredibly Cool Crashed Star Destroyer LEGO Diorama

Did you ever build a ship out of LEGO bricks and then try to make it look like it actually crashed by dropping it on the floor? I tried that technique a time or two, but LEGO bricks fit together so well that it never really worked out the way I wanted it to.

But where I failed to crash a LEGO vehicle the right way Brickster KevFett2011 succeeded in style by using a whopping 12,000 bricks to build this impressive crashed Star Destroyer scene from Star Wars Episode VII.

KevFett2011’s Star Wars Episode VII The Force Awakens Apoca Star Destroyer On Jakku LEGO model is one super square work of art, and it totally would have made childhood me go squee!

-Via Super Punch

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The 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic Book Movie History

Superman throws his "S" Shield in Superman II

Comic book movies are always going to be full of bad one liners and "WTF just happened?!" moments, but knowing they're coming doesn’t make these scenes any less cringe-worthy for the viewing audience.

Reed Richards dances his arms off in Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer

When io9 called out for readers to submit their favorite cringe-worthy moments in superheroic cinematic history they got way too many submissions to use. But in the end they were able to boil it down to the 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic Book Movie History.

(YouTube Link)

The list is full of superhero schlock at its saddest, and it shows how far some comic book movies have come and how far they still have to go before they're free of that cheesy stigma.

See The 50 Most Cringe-Worthy Moments In Comic Book Movie History here

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What If Werner Herzog Directed Ant-Man?

Ant-Man isn’t an incredibly deep movie, nor does it have a bunch of hidden symbolism and underlying meaning, because it’s meant to be a popcorn movie and not a deep thinker. But if Werner Herzog had been at the helm as director the story would have taken a very different turn.

For one thing Ant-Man would have faced an existential crisis instead of a supervillain, his powers would have been drawn from introspection instead of a supersuit, and he never would have made it out of that tall grass growing in his mind.

(YouTube Link)

Thanks Patrick (H) Willems for showing us how strange Ant-Man could have been, and why Herzog should take the helm for the new X-Men movies, can you imagine the mental mayhem caused by all that mutant angst?

-Via The Hollywood Reporter

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Woman Captures Photographic Proof Of The Lizard Man Of Lee County

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If you ever see a lizard man while you’re walking around Scape Ore Swamp in South Carolina don’t stop to sketch the creature, put away your sketchbook and run like hell!

Most of the witnesses who’ve sworn they spotted the Lizard Man of Lee County swear it looks like something out of a sci-fi movie, but one man was brave enough to sketch the creature after it attacked him:

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You may be asking yourself- how can South Carolina officials let some scary creature roam around Scape Ore Swamp attacking people? Because they don't believe that the cryptid actually exists, even with Christopher Davis' signed sketch offered up as proof.

So what's it gonna take to get them to send in the National Guard and slay the beast once and for all?

This photo shot by a woman simply known as "Sarah", who purportedly spotted the Lizard Man of Lee County while at church, should spur them into action:

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This cryptid case has left us with three nagging questions- does this photo prove the existence of the fabled Lizard Man of Lee County? Is he more man than lizard, or more lizard than man? and are they filming a new Godzilla movie nearby?

Read more about the Lizard Man of Lee County at Dangerous Minds

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Totally Innocent GIFs That Seem NSFW

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There’s a significant number of people in the world who walk around with a dirty mind sloshing around in their skull, and they see sins of the flesh wherever they go.

These filth finders sexualize the mundane, and they can’t seem to pull their minds out of the gutter long enough to realize that two melons sitting next to each other in the produce section is not hot.

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Unsure whether you are the owner of a dirty mind or simply borrowing one from the internet? Consult these 13 Totally Innocent GIFs That Are Almost NSFW and see if anything "stirs", and if it does then you should unplug your modem and seek help immediately!

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Buildings Cleverly Constructed Around Existing Trees

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Constructing a new building generally involves trees being cut down, whether it’s the trees used for the building lumber or trees which are cleared off the building’s lot.

But a clever architect can figure out ways to build around the trees, which means a far more visually appealing structure is built and a happy little tree gets to live.

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Trees bring us life, and much of our lives plays out inside buildings, so it naturally makes sense to leave the tree where it is and build around it rather than killing the tree

Bored Panda has created an open list for images of Clever Buildings Whose Architects Refused to Cut Down Local Trees, which includes this thorougly modern treehugger's home at the foot of Pedra de Gavea in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.

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See more Clever Buildings Whose Architects Refused To Cut Down Local Trees

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The High School With America's Most Intricate End Zone Design

As pro football stadiums grow larger, fancier and packed full of more and more amenities (like the swimming pool with a view of the field at EverBank Field, home of the Jacksonville Jaguars) the field designs go up a few fanciness levels as well.

But one American high school now holds the record for the most intricate end zone design- San Diego’s very own Helix High School.

The end zone features a Dress Gordon tartan pattern made out of 55 cut files (which is apparently nearly double the norm), and Helix's signature Scotty dog growls loud and proud from center field. The entire transformation took over 180 hours to complete, and must have cost the school a pretty penny!

-Via FieldTurf

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Woman Discovers She Has Carried Fetus In Her Womb For Over 60 Years

Losing a child can be devastating, whether the loss is in utero or after birth, but imagine finding out that you lost a child over 60 years ago when you didn’t even know you were pregnant, much less able to conceive.

What could make that discovery even worse? How about finding out you'd been carrying that dead child with you for over sixty years.

(YouTube Link)

That’s the real life horror story experienced by 91-year-old Estela Meléndez of La Boca, Chile, who went to see the doctor about removing a tumor they saw in an X-ray of her stomach.

The tumor was actually a calcified fetus she'd been carrying in her uterus for over 60 years, but it doesn't pose a threat to Estela they decided to leave it in place.

Estela says she's glad the fetus will remain in her womb, because it "reminds her of her husband and their unfulfilled dream of having a child all those years ago." How sickeningly sweet!

-Via CNN

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A Flowchart To Help You Decide Whether You Should Quit Your Job

Sometimes it’s hard to work for the same company for years, and jobs often leave you feeling underpaid, underappreciated and wishing you were at home watching afternoon TV and collecting an unemployment check.

But it’s even harder to tell when it’s time to quit, especially because you may feel like storming out the door one day and wake up feeling like you’ve just made a huge mistake the next.

So how do you know when to walk away from your job?

Logically you shouldn’t quit until you’ve got something else lined up, but if you feel like you need to jump ship right away then consult this clever flowchart designed by Julio Rivera for the BBC.

It'll help you navigate the sea of "should I or shouldn't I?" questions keeping you from making a decision about quitting, and it's entertaining to read through too!

See the full sized flowchart at Lifehacker

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These Optical Illusion GIFs May Make You Feel A Little Loopy

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Optical illusions can make you feel like your eyes are playing tricks on you without the harmful side effects of a mind altering substance, and they’re really fun to stare at for a moment or two.

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But it might take you more than a few moments to figure out what the heck is going on in some of these optical illusion GIFs, because the action taking place in each scene is often quite befuddling.

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And since they’re GIFs they’ll just keep looping away ad infinitum until your brain explodes, or you avert your eyes and try to remember what life was like before you were subjected to these totally trippy optic treats!

See 15 Optical Illusion GIFs Designed To Make You Feel Like A Lunatic here

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Excerpts From David Bowie's Rarely Seen "Autobiography"

It’s obvious David Bowie has done his fair share of “ziggy stardusting” in his rock star life, but for the most part he has managed to keep his wild life out of the media.

Whether this is because he’s too smart to slip or secretive to a paranoid level is up for debate, but it’s safe to say an autobiography by Bowie would make big bucks.

It turns out Bowie was indeed working on an autobiography of sorts back in the 70s, and he even gave Cameron Crowe a copy of what he’d written, from which an excerpt was featured in Crowe’s 1976 feature in Rolling Stone magazine:

Martin Schneider of Dangerous Minds has done some digging into The Return Of The Thin White Duke: An Autobiography by David Bowie, and while he’s not allowed to publish much he has shared a few excerpts from the book.

He has also included Crowe’s Rolling Stone article so you can see why Bowie fans were frothing at the mouth when they discovered an autobiography of their favorite rock god might be on the horizon.

Read Excerpts From The Secret "Autobiography" David Bowie Gave Cameron Crowe here (contains NSFW language)

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Documentary Reveals How Gene Roddenberry Nearly Killed The Next Generation

Gene Roddenberry is now considered a visionary in the world of science fiction, and his creation Star Trek is one of the undisputed top franchises in sci-fi to this day.

But Gene wasn’t always the best decision maker when it came to his own projects, and the cancellation of Star Trek in 1969 left him with a huge chip on his shoulder.

So it’s not surprising that the idea of bringing The Next Generation of Star Trek to the small screen didn’t really appeal to him.

After all, he was so embittered towards the execs at Paramount that he refused to be part of the TNG project…until Paramount forced his hand by making plans to go on with the show without him.

(YouTube Link)

A new documentary by William Shatner entitled Chaos On The Bridge exposes the many ways in which Roddenberry nearly nullified our chances of seeing TNG come to the small screen, and how Gene, and his attorney, made life hell for the staff of the show.

Read more about How Gene Roddenberry Almost Killed Star Trek TNG at io9

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Inflatable Minion Wreaks Havoc On Road In Ireland

Minions aren’t generally thought of as subtle creatures, and their loud, incoherent babbling and bumbling fumbles tend to make any Minion assault an easily avoided affair.

But one extremely large Minion was able to launch an assault on a road in Ireland, clogging the roadway with his extremely large, extremely yellow head.

The 33-foot-tall inflatable Minion escaped from his restraints and landed on a road in the Santry area north of Dublin, causing traffic chaos before he could be subdued and deflated by the cops.

No word on whether Gru was able to pull off a heist while the Minion played decoy, but one thing’s for certain- Santry will be prepared for the next Minion invasion…

-Via Bored Panda (all images via Eric Van Londen)

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How To Explain A Career In Graphic Design To Four-Year-Olds

Kids are naturally curious about what their parents do for a living, and when we try to explain it to them our explanations generally fall into one of two categories- lengthy and informative or hasty and placating.

But when you have to explain a job that’s a bit more abstract, like artist or psychologist, you’re going to have your work cut out for you.

Luckily, a guy named Dean Vispond came up with a great way to properly explain a graphic designer's job to youngsters...after he had to boil it all down to a room full of four-year-olds:

I thought it’d be a good idea to explain what design in all its forms is. I’ve long held the notion that all forms of design are effectively about communication, be that user experience design, industrial design, fashion design, but that’s a pretty lofty thing to explain to kids. I ended up with:

Design is about making something easy to use, or easy to understand....

I talked about how signs tell us important things, and the words need to be easy to read. I showed them a simple sign, and asked them what I could do to the letters, to make the sign better. “Make them bigger” came the answer, so I showed them a second sign, which we all agreed is better because it makes the word more important, and you can see it from further away.

Read Dean's full post on Explaining Graphic Design To Four-Year-Olds at Medium

-Via Boing Boing

See more about baby and kids at NeatoBambino

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This Animated Short Will Melt Your Mind Into Vagabond Mutant Liquid

Adult Swim represents the cutting edge of animation, and their programming has not only changed the way we think of adult animation, they’ve actually pushed the genre well past the point of being dismissible as simply a passing fad.

The creators who call Adult Swim home love to mess with our minds, and their works often leave a mark on those of us who are brave enough to keep our eyes open until the bitter end...

(Vimeo Link)

Animator Toby Stretch created this subtly disturbing short entitled "Vagabond Mutant Liquid", which will forever change the way you look at soft and fuzzy textures.

-Via io9

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The Horrifying Effects Of Radiation On The Human Body

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Pop culture likes to poke fun at the effects of radiation on the body, and without much real world scientific knowledge it’s hard to understand just how bad radiation is for the human body.

But we need look no further than the accident which took place at an uranium processing plant in Tokaimura, Japan in 1999 to see just how bad it is to receive a lethal dose of radiation.

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IFL Science posted an informative, albeit a bit gruesome and disturbing, article entitled This Is What Radiation Can Do To The Human Body.

It tells the tale (and contains a NSFW and grisly image) of a poor fellow named Hiroshi Ouchi who was "exposed to incredible amounts of the most powerful type of radiation in the form of neutron beams". He felt fine at first, and was even able to talk to doctors when he arrived at the hospital, and then his skin began to fall off...

Read This Is What Radiation Can Do To The Human Body at IFL Science

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Jim Henson Versus Stan Lee In An Epic Rap Battle Of The Creators

Stan Lee and Jim Henson are two creators who pushed the limits of imagination and expanded the boundaries of their chosen mediums.

Stan Lee proved that comics aren’t just for kids, and that they can have a deep storyline that appeals to adults while keeping all the bang up battles enjoyed by youngsters.

Jim Henson proved that a puppet movie need have no boundaries, and that puppets can be just as appealing as a main star as any human.

(YouTube Link)

Together they could have created something amazing, instead they're lyrically battling it out like two master creator MCs in this episode of Epic Rap Battles!

-Via Laughing Squid

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George Takei Answers Dumb Questions About Gay People

Gay people are (arguably) more accepted now than ever before, and when the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage is totally legal this cemented their position in American culture.

We’ve come so far in terms of acceptance of other lifestyles, and yet people still have the dumbest questions about what it means to be gay.

Luckily there’s a famous gay guy named George Takei who is willing and able to answer all the dumb questions that have been burning a hole in the minds of straight people for decades.

He not only answered them all seriously, he responded with a touch of Takei class...except for his delightfully raunchy response to why gay men like to be flight attendants. Oh myyyyy George Takei!

Read George Takei Gloriously Responds To Stupid Question About Gay People here

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The Dark Mythological Origins Of Several Varieties Of Pokemon

Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri has cited bug collecting and entomology as his inspiration for the world of pocket monsters he created, but not all Pokemon are based on bugs, or animals for that matter.

There’s the Porygon which is based on the polygon, Jigglypuff which seems to be based on bubblegum, karaoke and happiness, and the powerful yet ridiculous looking Magnemite, which is based on a magnet, just to name a few.

And then there are those Pokemon which are based on dark creatures from Japanese mythology, which have to be given a PG makeover because their original tales are terrifying!

Take the somewhat cutesy looking Mawile for instance- this Fairy type Pokemon is based on the tale of Futakuchi-onna, the woman with two mouths.

According to the legend, a miserly farmer was thrilled when his wife didn't need to eat any food, but baffled at the way his rice stocks were depleting more rapidly than usual.

One night, when his wife was sleeping, he brushed back her hair to discover the hidden ravenous mouth that had been voraciously devouring his supplies. Tendrils of hair were reaching into the cupboards like tentacles and putting rice directly into the ever-hungry teeth.

I don’t think anyone wants to catch that!

See These Creepy Japanese Myths Will Change The Way You See Pokemon Forever!

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Spread The Word With These 30 Perfectly Punny T-Shirts

Wearing a t-shirt featuring punny wordplay is a fun way to show the world you're a language lover who knows a good pun when they see one.

Those who love having fun with language should head to the NeatoShop, purveyors of perfectly punny t-shirts and fun stuff to keep the people in your world rolling with laughter all day long.

The NeatoShop is currently having a Back To School Sale, with Free Worldwide Shipping on all orders now through August 9th, 2015, so hurry over and get geared up for less!

Pop culture is a perfect place to start looking for punny material

Don't Stop Meow by Burgernator

Like internet lingo

All The Fox by Kellabell9

Or something from our favorite movies

The Rule Of Two by ALCESA

Popular music is also a mighty good place to find source material for puns

Free Bird by Fishbiscuit

Because everybody loves music, and music related puns!

Unpugged by Oakenspirit

Continue reading

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Slang From The Front Lines Of World War II

We’ve all heard the standard slang from the World War II era, like calling Germans Jerrys or Krauts, but like any good slang the use of those words is a timely thing, and their meaning tends to fade away as years go by.

There were lots of fun slang terms thrown around on the battlefields of World War II that most of us haven't heard before, but thanks to the efforts of Paul Dickson and his book War Slang we're hep to the jive some seventy plus years later.

Now we can be in the know about a “bayonet course” being a slang term for a hospital treatment for venereal diseases, and that Sack Rats and Bunk Lizards (lazy soldiers) are the last to take on a Tough Row of Buttons to Shine (hard job). Have fun speaking World War II to everyone!

Read WWII Slang From The Front at The Art of Manliness

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An Upcoming Frozen Parody To Die For

Frozen parodies are a dime a dozen on the interwebs, and aside from a few purposely funny performances they’re pretty standard fare.

Then along came a fun little song called "Do You Wanna Kill The Batman?", as written by Hesychia7 and performed by SydneyAmber S.

(YouTube Link)

It made us believe in Frozen parodies again, and now it’s getting an animated treatment thanks to the efforts of animator Michael Smith.

Michael only has a little bit of the song animated so far (and way too much time to breakdown his animation) but we'll keep you posted when he finishes up this fun project!

-Via The Mary Sue

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Our Robotic Overlords Have Learned How To Play Ping Pong

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Professional ping pong players take the game very seriously, but they wouldn’t put their life on the line to win a tournament.

Ping pong playing robots are programmed to win at all costs, and places no value on human life, so if one of these machines asks if you’d like to play a game politely refuse then run like hell!

(YouTube Link)

This cutting edge commercial by Omron Automation & Safety was created to show us how robots will serve a variety of functions in the future, posing the question 'can automation make us happy?'

Only if we make the automatons happy first, and keep them happy by oiling their gears and gently singing "Mr. Roboto" to them while they recharge. Yay for automation happy fun time!

-Via io9

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Just The Br'er Facts About Song Of The South

Song of the South is one of the most controversial animated films ever made by Disney, and because of the controversy the animated adaptation of Joel Chandler Harris’s Uncle Remus stories has never been released on home video.

Although Joel Chandler Harris’ stories aren’t meant to be racist (they’re tales told to him by Southern African Americans during the mid to late 19th century) The Song OF The South was perceived as such by some, including the NAACP.

(YouTube Link)

But while they didn’t like the film’s “dangerously glorified picture of slavery” the African-American actors in the film, including James Baskett and Hattie McDaniel, held the film in high esteem.

And speaking of James Baskett, who stars as Uncle Remus in the film, did you know that Disney himself campaigned for Baskett to win an Academy Award? He received an honorary Oscar in 1948 and died just three months later.

Read 10 Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Facts About The Song Of The South at mental_floss

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NBC Explains KISS To The Viewing Audience Of 1977

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KISS seems fairly tame by today’s standards, since Black and Death Metal have taken rock to far darker places than KISS ever could, but back in 1977 those four guys in the facepaint and crazy getups caused quite a stir.

Parents didn’t want their kids listening to that filth, church groups didn’t like hearing about a group of guys acting like demons on stage, and the moral majority found their act repugnant.

(YouTube Link)

In an effort to explain away the scariness NBC created a mini-documentary entitled KISS: Land of Hype and Glory, which revealed that Gene Simmons and the gang are just a bunch of regular guys with a gimmick.

-Via Dangerous Minds

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How A Painting Revealed The Truth About Watermelon Breeding

It’s often hard for food scientists to discover the truth about how fruits and vegetables used to look before we used breeding to turn them into heartier and more delicious produce.

But if you know where to look you can find out all kinds of things about the past, and when it came to discovering how much watermelons have changed since the Renaissance one professor looked to the world of fine art.

Horticulture professor James Nienhuis used a painting by Giovanni Stanchi as an example of what watermelons used to look like before we bred them to have the dense flesh and bright red color we look for today.

However, the "starring" we see in the watermelon's meat in the painting is something that still happens today due to sub-par growing conditions.

Here's more on how we've perfected the watermelon:

That fleshy interior is actually the watermelon's placenta, which holds the seeds. Before it was fully domesticated, that placenta lacked the high amounts of lycopene that give it the red color. Through hundreds of years of domestication, we've modified smaller watermelons with a white interior into the larger, lycopene-loaded versions we know today.

Of course, we haven't only changed the color of watermelon. Lately, we've also been experimenting with getting rid of the seeds — which Nienhuis reluctantly calls "the logical progression in domestication." Future generations will at least have photographs to understand what watermelons with seeds looked like. But to see the small, white watermelons of the past, they too will have to look at Renaissance art.

-Via Colossal

We dish up more neat food posts at the Neatolicious blog

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The Most Embarrassing Moments In Iron Man's History

Iron Man is a wisecracker when he wants to be, super serious and soldiery when he needs to be, and generally a good tempered fellow.

Of course, it’s easy to be in good spirits all the time when you’re a billionaire playboy in a supersuit of your own design, and cracking supervillain skulls has got to make you feel good too.

What doesn’t feel good is having your embarrassing moments exposed to the world, and for that we apologize to Iron Tony Stark Man in advance.

However, he should be able to handle the negative exposure, seeing as how most of the incidents on the list involve an alternate Tony and not the original. But always needing to be charged like a cell phone battery? Yeah, that's the Tony we all know and love!

See The 5 Most Embarrassing Moments In Iron Man Comic Book History at Dorkly (contains NSFW language)

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Famous Songs Written By People You'd Never Expect

Iconic songs tend to stick in our heads, and when we sing along we can’t help but think of them as an inseparable part of a musician’s image/persona.

For instance, no matter who covers “Thriller” the song will forever belong to Michael Jackson, and there is no Margaritaville without Jimmy Buffett. But what happens when you discover that iconic song wasn’t written by the performing artist at all?

Your music loving world is rocked, that’s what, and you’re sure to find a few jaw dropping revelations in this Cracked article 6 Famous Songs Written By The Last Person You’d Expect. (Contains NSFW language)

It exposes the truth about the creator of “Do The Bartman”, the famous showman and frequent Vegas headliner who wrote “Red Red Wine”, and the singer songwriter who put the “F&$k You” in CeeLo Green’s mouth!

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Guy Asks Internet To Increase The Size Of His Girlfriend's Catch, And They Bit

You’d think people would know better than to ask the internet for some photoshopping help when the results are nearly always disastrous.

And yet people continue to let the 'Net photoshop their photos for them, like a masochistic photo manipulation ritual they know 

Or maybe, just maybe, they’re looking for their pic to be a part of some online tomfoolery, so they offer it up to the internet gods in the hopes of being in on a joke for once.

This time around some guy asked the interwebs to Photoshop his girlfriend’s frail fish into something worthy of a mighty fishing fable, and as expected they created something crappy to carp about, just for the halibut.

See more images the Internet "improved" here

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Profile for Zeon Santos

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