The Bacterial Opera premiered as part of the 20th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, at Sanders Theater, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts, on September 30, 2010.
Video of the performance can be seen at www.improbable.com.

Original Cast
Stage manager and conductor: David Stockton
Kirkospocokococcus: Maria Ferrante
Gallileococcus: Ben Sears
Sidekickococcus: Roberta Gilbert
Accordionococcus: Thomas Michel
Bacillusnameless: Marc Andelman
The woman: Jenny Gutbezahl
Supporting bacilli: Sheldon Glashow, Roy Glauber, William Lipscomb, James Muller, Frank Wilczek, Neil Gaiman, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley, Mary Ellen Davey, Rich Losick, and a multitude of bacteria.
Pianist: Branden Grimmett
Costume designer: Jenn Martinez.

The characters are a WOMAN, who spends the entire time—except at the very end—sitting on a chair napping with her mouth open so we can see her teeth, and the BACTERIA who live on one of her front teeth. Those bacteria, KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS, SIDEKICKOCOCCUS, and GALLILEOCOCCUS, do all the singing. Most of the characters on stage are non-singing bacteria. In the premiere one bacterium played the accordion.

ACT 1—Stuck on This Tooth

NARRATOR: Tonight’s opera stars several trillion bacteria—would you all please take a bow?—several
trillion bacteria… and one human being—a woman, who as you can see, is asleep on a chair, with her mouth hanging open. The action takes place on one tooth inside that woman’s mouth. The main characters are called KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS, SIDEKICKOCOCCUS and GALLILEOCOCCUS. We have arranged a sort of microscope so you can see them. Let’s take a look. Will one of the technicians please turn on the microscope?

[KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS AND SIDEKICK-OCOCCUS AND GALLILEOCOCCUS COME ON STAGE AND TAKE A BOW.]

Ah. Here they are, magnified so very much that—believe it or not—these teeny-tiny, liddle-widdle bacteria appear to be the SAME SIZE AS THE HUMAN BEING. Isn’t that a hoot? Here in Act 1, KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS and SIDEKICKOCOCCUS will explain why they hate being stuck, their whole lives, on this tooth. But you know, and I know, that what they REALLY hate are all the many, many other bacteria species in their crowded neighborhood. Let’s listen to them gripe…

[TUNE: “Barcarolle” by Offenbach, from “Tales of Hoffman”]

KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS and SIDEKICKOCOCCUS:
Nasty neighbors! Nasty neighbors!
Nasty neighbors! Nasty neighbors!
Nasty neighbors! Nasty neighbors!

[HERE IS WHERE WORDS BEGIN IN ORIGINAL OFFENBACH VERSION]

Streptococcus! Stuck on this tooth,
With neighbors who hurt and mock us.
Let’s name names. Let’s tell the whole truth.
Let’s name the scum on this tooth!
TrepoNEEma dentiCOla! What a loathsome neighbor!
Squirts and leaks and drips and drools
Such stinky molecules.
Such stinky molecules! Prob’ly some kind of peptide…
Those stinky molecules—They eat holes in my hide.
Stinky molecules. Stinky molecules.
Pee yooo!
Porph’ro-MO-nas gingi-VA-lis! What a loathsome neighbor!
Night and day, they spew and they spray / Bacteriocin spray.
Bacteriocin spray / Makes our guts leak away.
Our guts leak away. They leak away.
Oooh! Oooh!

ACT 2—A Vision of Distant, Bigger Things

NARRATOR: Among the billions of bacteria on this crowded tooth, there is a great—truly great scientist, a microbe named Gallileococcus. Gallileococcus has just invented the telescope! Here’s how he did it. As you know, the bacteria that live on teeth produce a kind of slime. You probably call  it “biofilm,” or  even “a matrix of excreted polymeric compounds”. But it’s slime. One day, Gallileococcus burrowed down deep into that slime. And from down there, he looked back up, through the slime, toward the light. The slime acted as a lens, a sort of telescope. Looking through that telescope, Gallileococcus saw things
that—until that moment—microbes believed were merely myths and legends. He saw…. human beings! And when he focused the telescope, he saw that those human beings are covered with—yes!—bacteria! Alien bacteria! Let’s watch now, as GALILEOCOCCUS tells his fellow tooth bacteria that… they are not alone in the universe!

[TUNE: “I’ve got a little list” from “The Mikado,” Gilbert and Sullivan] [OPTIONALLY, HE CAN BRING OUT A TRADITIONAL TELESCOPE—IF SO, THEN WHEN HE FIRST SHOWS IT, PROJECT A SLIDE THAT SAYS: “NOTE: Telescope shown here is not actual shape”]

GALILEOCOCCUS: My fellow microbes! Listen! I have got a new machine.
It’s called a telescope! It’s called a telescope!
Now it’s possible to look at distant things we’ve never seen.
Just look through the telescope! Look through the telescope!
Folks, I found this telescope by going deep into the slime
That we all make from schmutz that we secrete from time to time.
Then I gazed back, up toward the sky—
And through that slimy lens,
I saw some human beings! I saw homo sapiens!
THEN… I saw something BETTER—so good I can barely cope!
It  filled me full with hope! Now I am filled with hope!

ALL [sing the second line slowly, enunciating each word distinctly]:
You scientific dope! Now WE are filled with hope!
Tell us what you saw, you dope, in that damn telescope!

[TUNE: “La donna e mobile” from “Rigoletto,” Verdi]

[MAYBE HAS A STICK POINTER, USING IT TO POINT TO A WEIRD DRAWING OF A HUMAN ANATOMY CHART AS DRAWN BY A BACTERIUM]

I saw bacteria /In far off places.
I saw their faces./
They look quite friendly.
They live in domiciles, /
On human creatures,
Lodged in the features /
That are uncleanly.
Beneath the toenails! Inside the entrails!
Under the armpits! Where it is moist.
It must be moist! Not dry! They’d die!
It must be moist.

Nice human real estate / In such variety
Fosters society /Among the microbes!
All the best neighborhoods /
Have some concavity.
[ASIDE:] (You want depravity? /
Go live on ear lobes!)
Caudal and rostral! Anus and nostril!
Stomach and colon! Where it is moist.
It must be moist! Not dry! They’d die!
It must be moist.

ACT 3 “Stand on the Shoulders of Giant Piles of Bacteria”

NARRATOR: Having seen that they are not alone in the universe, the bacteria want to leave their leave their detested home tooth, and voyage off to make contact with those far distant microbes. They have a plan. They will get all their neighbors—all the tooth bacteria—to reproduce madly. The bodies will pile up high, building a tower that will grow up into the heavens, and eventually reach the distant places they see in the telescope. Let’s eavesdrop as they prepare to boldly go where none of them has gone before.

[TUNE: “Sempre Libera” from “La Traviata,” Verdi]

KIRKOSPOCTOCOCCUS:
Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!
Come, bacteria! Into space—the place they call “the final frontier”!
We will voyage off, enterprisingly, and get the hell out of here!
On this tooth, we will build a tall tower.
It will climb way up into the sky.
Generations of microbes will build it.
Listen to me—I’ll tell you why!
Now that we know, Now that we know,
Now that we know there’s bacteria there,
Well, we must go—o—o—o. Go— and—say hello.

GALLILEOCOCCUS:  [GEEKILY, GIVING A MATTER-OF-FACT RECITATION FROM AN ENGINEER’S PERSPECTIVE] To estimate our travel time, I’ve calculated our rate of climb.

KIRKOSPOCTOCOCCUS: Engineer!!!

GALLILEOCOCCUS: This simple tower will double in height each time we reproduce.
Total construction time: Just a few hours!

KIRKOSPOCTOCOCCUS: Precisely! Precisely! Oh! Let’s go!
Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!
Come on! Come on! Oh, don’t you wonder, wonder
What new species we’ll meet there!
What new shapes and sizes and personalities will greet us up there!
Are they rod-shaped or rounded or twisty?
Are they bulbous, or covered with zits?
Are they rigid—or kind of misty?
Are they friendly, or are they shits?
Soon we will know! Soon we will know!
Soon we will know what bacteria’s there.
Oh, let’s go—o—o—o. Go-o-o-o, and say hello.

GALILEOCOCCUS: But if they’re bumbling…
Or they start grumbling…

KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! You just know that they will!

GALILEOCOCCUS: We’ll make them disappear —
Go find their own frontier!

KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS: O-o-o-o-oh!
We’ll make them go. We’ll make them go.
Just boldly… go. Just coldly… go.

ACT 4. “A Brush With Disaster”

NARRATOR: And now for the thrilling conclusion to “The Bacterial Opera.” The bacteria are feverishly reproducing, building a tower of bodies that will rise so high it transports them to a far- distant place. One of the bacteria is about  to sing her final, excited goodbye to the tooth. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttt…… All this feverish activity is starting to awaken the sleeping woman—the woman whose tooth is the home planet for all these bacteria. Let’s hope, for the bacteria’s sake, that this woman is not one of those people who thinks only about her own comfort and well-being. You know the kind I mean—someone who would —viciously—brush, brush, brush her teeth,    then    mass-murderously floss, floss, floss her teeth, and then, for overkill, gargle with mouthwash. For the sake of this woman’s oral bacteria, let’s hope she has more consideration than to do any of that that. Anyway, before the woman wakes up, let’s hear what her oral bacteria have to say about their upcoming journey.

[TUNE: “stride la vampa” from “Il Trovatore,” Verdi. NOTE that in Verdi’s original, this tune comes after, rather then before, the grand anvil chorus.]

KIRKOSPOCKOCOCCUS: Soon we will go away. Go away.
We’ll go away.
Enough of watching this tooth decay.
Festering away. Decay.
Life on this old tooth / Won’t ever be the same.
Things have become so uncouth. /
Now it’s just an endgame.
Stay here? Who would do? Only a very few,

It’s just the residue.
Life here will struggle on without us, without us.
Scre-e-e-ew you, you residue!
Now let us make our getaway! Cast the past away—
Far, far, far, far away!
Throw the old life away! Throw it all away! Throw it all away!
Scrape the old life away! Scrape the life away!
Brush the old life away! Brush the life away!
Scrub, scrub the old life away!
Scrub it all away! Scrub it away!
Rinse it away! Yes—flush everything…
Flush everything away! Flush everything away!

[THE WOMAN AWAKENS, STANDS UP, BEGINS CLOSING AND OPENING AND FLEXING HER MOUTH. LIGHTS FLASH OFF AND ON DISTURBINGLY, IN SYNCH WITH HER MOUTH CLOSING AND OPENING. THE BACTERIA PANIC.]

[TUNE: “Vedi! Le fosche notturne spoglie” (the anvil chorus) from “Il Trovatore,” Verdi]

ALL THE SINGING BACTERIA:
Darkness and lightning!
It’s frightening! It’s frightening! It’s
frightening! It’s frightening!
Hey, what just happened?
Darkness and lightning!
It’s frightening! It’s frightening! It’s frightening! It’s frightening!
Hey, what just happened?
I don’t know what the… What the…???
What happened???

[A GIANT TOOTHBRUSH IS CARRIED ON STAGE.  A PROJECTED SLIDE SAYS: “NOTE: Toothbrush shown here is not to scale”]

[THE WOMAN BRUSHES HER TEETH, RHYTHMICALLY AND RATHER VIOLENTLY. A TREMENDOUS ANVIL-BANGING SOUNDS—AND LIGHTS FLASH ON AND OFF—EVERY TIME SHE BRUSHES ACROSS HER TEETH.]

Brush! Brush! This brushing is crushing us to pieces!
Brush! Brush! This brushing is crushing us to pieces!
Brush! Brush! Brush! Brush! Brush!
Brush! Brush!
Hey, what just happened? Hey, what just happened? Hey, what just happened?
Hey—what just happened?
Can anyone tell us?—Or even hint?—
Hey, what just happened?
Thunder and lightning!
It’s frightening! It’s frightening! It’s frightening! It’s frightening!
Is this the end? It’s oblivion!

[A GIANT ROPE IS CARRIED ON STAGE.  A PROJECTED SLIDE SAYS: NOTE: “Dental floss shown here is not to scale”]

[THE WOMAN FLOSSES HER TEETH, RHYTHMICALLY AND RATHER VIOLENTLY. A TREMENDOUS ANVIL-BANGING SOUNDS—AND LIGHTS FLASH ON AN OFF—EVERY TIME SHE
SWEEPS THE FLOSS THROUGH HER TEETH. THE BACTERIA DIE OFF IN WAVES BETWEEN HERE AND THE END OF THE SONG.]

Floss! Floss! This flossing is tossing us to pieces!
Floss! Floss! This flossing is tossing us to pieces!

[A GIANT FILMY CLOTH, MEANT TO REPRESENT A WAVE OF MOUTHWASH, IS CARRIED ON STAGE.  A PROJECTED SLIDE SAYS: “NOTE: Mouthwash shown here is not to scale”]

[THE WOMAN GARGLES WITH MOUTHWASH, RHYTHMICALLY AND RATHER VIOLENTLY. A TREMENDOUS ANVIL-BANGING SOUNDS—AND LIGHTS FLASH ON AND OFF—EVERY TIME SHE DOES.]

Flush! Flush! Flush! Flush! Flush! Flush!

[THE WOMAN SPITS OUT THE MOUTHWASH INTO THE AUDIENCE (OR, IF PROPRIETIES MUST BE OBSERVED, INTO A VAT)]

[ALMOST ALL OF THE BACTERIA ARE NOW, DEAD. THE REMAINING FEW ARE BARELY STANDING—THEY WILL MANAGE TO SING THE FINAL WORDS, AND THEN THEY WILL DIE.]

This is the end of… This is the end of…
Bacte-e-e-e-ria!

[ALL THE BACTERIA ARE NOW DEAD. THE WOMAN STANDS, SMILING, STRETCHING JOYOUSLY, AND NOW FULLY AWAKE. FOR HER IT’S JUST THE START OF ANOTHER DAY.]

_____________________

This article is republished with permission from the November-December 2010 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!

Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.

(YouTube Link)

Fans of the Mario Bros. video game franchise draw inspiration from the moustachioed plumbers in so many creative ways, but i’m generally most impressed by the musical tributes. This operatic styled song released on YouTube by legolambs has hilarious lyrics that go along with the gameplay so well that you’ll be entertained even though you’re watching someone play Super Mario Bros. for the millionth time.

–via Geekosystem

Every two years, the Bregenzer Performing Arts Festival in Austria constructs an enormous floating stage that looks like anything other than an opera stage. Past designs include human heads, steam engines, and ice-covered mountains. Toxel has photos of these designs and others.

Link -via Dude Craft | Photo: Benno Hagleitner

Tragedy on the Sea Nymph from machine project on Vimeo.

(Video Link)

Opera has become infinitely more enjoyable since the canines have hit the stage. Watch as wig wearing hounds get dramatic, in a silent performance that will leave a mark on more than your shoe.

Link

(YouTube link)

“Two Boys”, a new opera at the ENO London Coliseum, highlights the profoundly weird behavior we engage in online. Watch as this guy takes his Facebook and Twitter activity to the streets. “Do you want to be my friend? Can I poke you? What’s your comment?” If you’re going to be London-bound sometime between June 24 and July 8, you can pick up tickets to the show on the Two Boys website.

via Gizmodo

The Norwegian browser company Opera has received emails for years that were intended for Oprah Winfrey. Now that Oprah has concluded her daily talk show, Opera executives posted some of the best letters as a tribute to her. Link -via Boing Boing

The Bregenz Festival brings opera to the shores of Lake Constance in Bregenz, Austria in July and August. They are now building the stage on the lake front, which is, as you can see, quite an enterprise. See more pictures of this fantastic stage and its meaning at Kuriositas. Link

(Image credit: Flickr user Kecko)

The 2010 Ig Nobel Prizes will be awarded this Thursday, September 30th, at Harvard University’s Sanders Theater. Tickets are sold out, but the ceremonies will be streamed live for your entertainment beginning at 7:30 Eastern time.

Meanwhile, here is a mini-opera that was performed at the 2007 ceremonies. The theme for the awards that year was “Chicken”, but the opera was edged out in the post-publicity for the awards due to winner Dan Meyer’s demonstration of his research on sword-swallowing.

Chicken versus Egg

A mini-opera in three acts
Music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Words by Marc Abrahams

Original Cast

Hen: Gail Kilkelly
Egg: Maggie McNeil
Other eggs: Nobel Laureates Roy Glauber, Dudley Herschbach, William Lipscomb, Craig Mello and Robert Laughlin
Pianist: Scott Nicholas
Opera Director: Margot Button

ACT 1

NARRATOR: Tonight’s opera is called “Chicken versus Egg.” It’s about a chicken sitting on an egg, and you can probably guess where it goes from there. The chicken is played by Gail Kilkelly. We will meet her in Act 2. The egg is played by Maggie McNeil. The two singers are, like the characters they play, mother and daughter.

Here’s some background. The hen has been sitting on the egg for quite a while now. The egg is getting awfully bored. Let’s join her now as she complains to her mother.

[MUSIC: “Voi Che Sapete” from “The Marriage of Figaro” by Mozart.]

[The EGG sings this. Her manner is that of a petulant, bored teenager. As the EGG sings, she sometimes looks upward, in the direction of the sitting hen.]

EGG:
Mother! Oh, Mother! Please stop sitting on my head.
Did you he-ar,
Mother de-ar?
Did you hear what I just sa-ai-aid?

You’re overprotective. It’s total envelop-ment.
Don’t keep me tucked away—
Teach me to play
Well with others.
Your love smothers
Your child’s develop-ment.

Then there’s my posture and my growth.
Also my deportment.
A small bustline!
A twi-isted spine!
It looks like I’ll have both.

But your most nasty cut,
Mother, you brute,
Is that your keeping me beneath your butt
Might smoosh my suit!

Mother dear,
Here is what I fear:
Mother, Mother!
You will smother
My modeling career!

I have… the most perfect suit
One could possess.
It’s really cu-u-u-ute.
Y es! Yes! Yes!

Look! The color is a perfect shade of eggshell!
And the shape’s a perfect ovoid! It looks swell!
But when you sit on me, my clothes will go to hell.
All this you know… perfectly well!

Mother! Oh, Mother! Please stop sitting on my head.
Oh, what a crying shame!
Don’t play this game!
Mental slaughter
Of your daughter!
I’ll never be the same!

Mental slaughter
Of your daughter!
I’ll never be the same!

ACT 2

NARRATOR: Since our first visit with the chicken and the egg, not a whole lot has happened. The egg has continued to be an egg, and the chicken has continued to sit on it. Here in Act 2, the chicken has grown weary of her egg’s incessant whining. Let’s join the mother hen now as she tells her daughter some facts of life.

[MUSIC: “Queen of the Night” from “The Magic Flute” by Mozart.]

[The HEN holds an egg in her hand, and sings this song to it. She is fed up with the egg’s attitude.]

HEN:

You little egg, you listen to your mother!
Listen to Mother!
Sit still, and cock an ear. Now then, my dear…
I’ve heard enough!
Enough about your feeling and your passions.
Enough about your shape-revealing fashions.
My ovoid nitwit,
Put a lid on it!

Your foolish rot
Has really made me hot!
Ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-t!
Baking, frying, roasting in foil!
Ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-t!
You watch it, kid—an egg is easy to boil.

Your simpering seems human,
But you—you’re just albumin. [pronounced “al-BYOO-min”]
You act like I’m a doormat.
I will not stand for that.

But I know
That you know
I can’t stop you.
Okay! Stand up, and go!
Oh, ho, ho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Your demands are quite a joke.
Settle down. Have lunch. Relax, and eat your yolk.
Ha! Ha! Ha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!
I’m your mother.
There… I’m glad we spoke.

ACT 3

NARRATOR: It’s time for the thrilling conclusion to our opera. After nine months—er, um, nine weeks—uh, uh… or however long it takes an egg to hatch—the magic moment is about to arrive. The hen and her favorite egg are reallllllllllly excited.

You may notice some other eggs here on the stage, played by the Nobel Laureates and the other scientists. These other eggs, too, are eager to hatch—but they’re not going anywhere right now. Their stories will have to be told some other time.

Now let’s join the mother hen as her favorite egg breaks out of its shell, and becomes a chick.

[Sung by HEN and EGG. At the beginning, the HEN is giving encouragement and instruction to the EGG, who is tentative and a bit frightened. In the middle, after EGG has hatched, both HEN and EGG grow progressively more excited and happy. The HEN is evermore proud and relieved and happy—but the EGG grows progressively more dismayed once she realizes she has become just like her mother. By the very end of the song, the hen is radiantly joyful, but the egg is in near-panicked despair.]

[The scientists all play the part of OTHER EGGS. They hold whatever we are using as simple egg costumes—perhaps a few pieces of paper taped together, and they say “peck, peck, peck, peck, peck” when the singers are singing the “peck, peck...” part, and at such other times as the mother HEN may direct them to.]

[Music: “Pa-pa-gena! ... Pa-pa-geno!” from “The Magic Flute” by Mozart.]
EGG: Peck! Peck, peck!
HEN: Peck! Peck, peck!

EGG: Peck, peck! Peck, peck!
HEN: Peck, peck! Peck, peck!

EGG: Peck, peck, peck, peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck!
HEN: Peck, peck, peck, peck! Peck, peck, peck, peck!

HEN: Peck, peck, peck! Peck, peck!
EGG: Peck, peck, peck! Peck, peck!

HEN: Peck! Peck! Peck! Peck! Peck!
EGG: Peck! Peck! Peck! Peck! Peck! Yayyyyyy!!!

[The EGG’s shell breaks, and she becomes a chicken.]

HEN: That was a tightly-fitting dress!
EGG: Oh, such a tightly-fitting dress!
HEN: I can imagine your distress!
EGG: You can imagine my distress!
BOTH: Oh, what distress! Oh, what distress!

HEN: You felt peckish? You felt squeezed?
EGG: I felt peckish. I felt squeezed!
HEN: Bottle-neckish, almost tweezed?
EGG: Bottle-neckish, almost tweezed!

BOTH:
Well, at first I [you] tried to make do.
Then at last I [you] had a breakthrough.
I [you] got rid of that thing quick.
I’m [You’re] a chick!
I’m [You’re] a chick!!
I’m [You’re] a chick!!!
Yes, I am [you are] quite a stylish chick!
Yes, I am [you are] quite a stylish chick!!

HEN: Now! Now at last! You are a chicken!
EGG: Now! Now at last! I am a chicken!
HEN: Now! Now at last! You are a chicken!
EGG: Now! Now at last! I am a chicken!
HEN: You’re a chicken!
EGG: I’m a chicken!
HEN: You’re a chicken!
EGG: I’m a chicken!

BOTH:
I’m [You’re] a chicken!
I’m [You’re] a chicken!

EGG: Do you know what I want to do?
HEN: Yes, I know what you want to do!
EGG: To lay an egggggggggggg!
HEN: You’ll lay an egg and be a mother!

BOTH:
Lay an egg and be a mother!
Lay an egg and be a mother!
lay an egg and be a mother, mother, mother, mother, mother!

To lay an egg!
To lay an egg!
HEN: Yes, that IS just what I would do!
EGG: Oh, no! That’s just what YOU would do!
HEN: I’d lay an egggggggggggg!
EGG: I’ve become just like my mother!
I’ve become just like my mother!
I’ve become just like my mother, mother, mother, mother, mother!

BOTH:
I’m [You’re] just like her [me]!
I’m [You’re] just like her [me]!
Like my [your] mother!
Like my [your] mother!
Like my [your] mother, mother, mother, mother, mother!
Well, well, well! Well, well, well, well!
Like my [your] mother!
Like my [your] mother!
Like my [your] mother, mother, mother, mother, mother!
Put me back into my [You have come out of your] shell!
Put me back into my [You have come out of your] shell!!
Put me back into my [You have come out of your] shell!!!
EGG: I’ve become just like my mother!!!!
HEN: You’ve become just like your mother!!!!

BOTH:
Mother, mother, mother, mother!
Mother, mother, mother, mother!
Mother, mother, mother, mother!

_____________________

The article above is from the November-December 2007 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!

Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.

(YouTube Link)

An Italian festival in Reading Terminal Market was the scene of lyrical vibrato as The Opera Company of Philadelphia’s singers performed Verdi’s “Brindisi from La Traviata” live and among the crowd. Cheers, Philly!

Well, if you won’t go to the opera, then the opera will just have to come to you. Here’s a wonderful public performance by a group of very talented college students. Behold, the Bus Stop Opera:

Public performances take place along a city’s area transit routes, with found audiences/participants. All cast and crew will utilize public transit to travel from one bus stop to the next at the completion of each opera and may perform en route to next act or full performance

Take a look: May 2009 Bus Stop Opera in New York City [embedded Vimeo clip] | Bus Stop Opera’s official website – Thanks Marilyn’s daughter!

Previously on Neatorama: 10 Operas You Didn’t Know You Already Like

“The Flight of the Bumblebee” from Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov’s opera The Tale of the Tsar Saltan has a tempo so fast that it challenges all but the greatest musicians. We’ve previously featured accordion, banjo, and trumpet arrangements of this piece. Here’s a vocal performance by Swedish opera singer Malena Ernman. It’s as much a demonstration of physical comedy as it is an extraordinary musical act.

via Geekosystem

I’d marry Firefox, but I’d like her to lose some weight and stop complaining when I accidentally call her Google Chrome.

I imagine I would start by dating Firefox, but come to realize she is high maintenance and run off with Safari.

It would have to be Opera, still barely touched and very innocent but with some great hidden features.

Netscape is my MILF!

I would marry FireFox, but every once in a while have a fling with Safari (For the looks) & Chrome (For the performance).

Can’t say which one i’d marry but I’d divorce IE6 in a second.

IE makes promises it doesn’t keep.Safari is unpredictable and incompatible. Firefox hogs the resources. I think I’d be single.

Firefox, though I have to admit, I’ve had several affairs with Safari. *shamefaced* But I’ll always come back to you, Firefox!

Link

The new Star Trek movie may not have the Klingon language in it,  but Klingons may have the last laugh yet. They have center stage in a renewal of a long-lost art form: the Klingon opera.

Every culture has its epic tales of mighty warriors. Odysseus blinds the Cyclops. Beowulf rips out the arm of Grendel. For Klingons, there’s Kahless, who dices 500 warriors with a sword forged from his own hair and some help from the Lady Lukara. To celebrate their victory, they make love in the ankle-deep blood.

The story of Kahless the Unforgettable is a cornerstone of Klingon mythology, as told in the opera u. Members of the Klingon Terran Research Ensemble — based in The Hague, the Netherlands — have been workshopping u for the last year with an ambitious goal: to mount the first authentic performances of Klingon opera here on earth.

“The first time I read that proposal, I thought they were freaks,” says Jorn Weisbrodt, the creative director for the Byrd Hoffman Watermill Foundation in New York. “But they’re really being very serious. And I think it really is the result that matters, and I found the result quite fascinating and interesting and strange and weird.”

Link – via npr

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by CheeseDuck.