Don’t worry, this comic and the link are both still SFW. It just shows us what sex would be like for us if we had the same mating rituals as giraffes. Be sure to visit the link to see what it would be like if we were split gill fungi or leopard slugs.

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Not just a pair of mating turtles, mind you. About 150 of them were trying to make it to a spot to lay their eggs; Runway 4 just happens to be in the turtles’ path to sandy beaches. It happens every year, but some years bring out more turtles than others. Though it delayed some flights yesterday morning, no one seems to be holding a grudge. Some airlines are even poking a little fun at the issue. Jet Blue tweeted, “Oh @JFKTurtles, we could never stay mad at you … Glad you made it to your honey moon spot safe.” Yes, JFK Turtles have a Twitter account.

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Humans have evolved to use a number of signals – including taste, smell and possibly silent chemical messengers called pheromones – to help us figure out whether someone is a suitable partner and a good person to reproduce with. A kiss means getting close to someone – close enough to suss out important clues about chemistry and genetics. At this range, our noses can detect valuable information about another person’s health and perhaps even his or her DNA. Biologist Claus Wedekind has found, for instance, that women are most attracted to the scents of men with a different set of genetic coding for immunity than their own. This is probably because when there is greater genetic diversity between parents in this area, their children will have more versatile immune systems.

Sheril Kirshenbaum, who wrote the book The Science of Kissing, tells us how great kisses kick start our chemicals and hormones, and how a kiss’ effects on our brains and bodies promote relationships. Link -via The Intersection

The latest theory – and it’s a surprise this hasn’t come up before, given biologists’ fixation with it – is that the long necks are the result of sexual selection: that is, they evolved in males as a way of competing for females.

Male giraffes fight for females by "necking". They stand side by side and swing the backs of their heads into each others’ ribs and legs. To help with this, their skulls are unusually thick and they have horn-like growths called ossicones on the tops of their heads. Their heads, in short, are battering rams, and are quite capable of breaking their opponents’ bones.

Having a long and powerful neck would be an advantage in these duels, and it’s been found that males with long necks tend to win, and also that females prefer them.

The "necks for sex" idea also helps explain why giraffes have extended their necks so much more than their legs. If giraffes evolved to reach higher branches, we might expect their legs to have lengthened as fast as their necks, but they haven’t.

Link

Previously on Neatorama: 30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits

Birds do it, bees do it … but did they ever do it together? From the twisted imagination of Mike Jacobsen of See Mike Draw, here’s The Birds and the Bees T-Shirt over at the NeatoShop: Link

More T-shirts by Mike | Other artist designed T-shirts | More Funny T-Shirts

See also: 30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits

In nature, most animals have little or no contact with their biological fathers, but humans do and we certainly aren’t alone. In celebration of all the great dads of our readers and the great dad readers, here’s a collection of some of the best animal fathers around in no particular order.

Image via Sukanto Debnath [Flickr]

1) Seahorses

Perhaps the most famous of all animal fathers are seahorses, which are known for being one of the only male animals in the world to get pregnant. The female deposits her eggs into his brood, then he fertilizes the eggs and carries them to term. As you can see in the image, they can get quite large during the pregnancy period. The number of babies may vary greatly by species, as seahorses can deliver as few as 5 babies or as many as 1,500. On average though, the numbers are around 100-200.

Source Image via Jaro Nemcok

2) Hardhead Catfishes

The hardheaded catfish doesn’t have such a thick skull when it comes to fatherhood. While he doesn’t get pregnant like a seahorse, he does put up to 48 of his fertilized eggs in his mouth and carries them with him for 60 days. If that wasn’t uncomfortable enough, he doesn’t eat for this entire period, making him one dedicated daddy.

Source Image via Eustatic [Flickr]

3) Marsupial Frogs

As the name suggests, the marsupial frog also carries his babies around in his brood pouch. While there are a few different species of marsupial frogs, perhaps the most impressive fathers are those that guard the eggs laid on the ground. When the eggs hatch, the ground will not provide enough moisture for the tadpoles, so he puts them in his brood pouch until they hop out as baby frogs.

Source Image via Brian.gratwicke [Flickr]

4) Darwin Frogs

Similarly, the Darwin frog also guards its eggs until they hatch, but he takes them into his vocal sac (up to 30 at a time), where they will stay until they grow into young frogs and hop out of his mouth.

Source Image via huenchecal [Flickr]

5) Mimic Poison Frog

The mimic poison frog has a notable reputation for not only being a great father, but also being a great husband. As a matter of fact, it is the only amphibian to be certifiably monogamous. The female frog lays her eggs on leaves and those that hatch are then moved by the father into a tiny pool of water inside a bromeliad. Because there are not enough nutrients for the tadpoles to survive in these conditions, the male not only guards them, but watches for signs that the baby needs food. When he croaks, the mother comes by and lays an unfertilized egg in the pool of water as a source of nourishment for the baby.

Source Image via phrakt [Flickr]

6) Emperor Penguins

Perhaps the next best known fathers in the animal kingdom, emperor penguins not only watch the fertilized eggs, they go for months at a time in the freezing arctic without a meal. The fathers keep the eggs on their feet and covered with their bellies because contact with the sub-freezing ground can result in immediate death of the embryo inside.  He stays like this for two months and by this time, he has already gone over 100 days without a meal. The female penguins generally return shortly after the eggs hatch, but until they arrive, the daddy manages to feed the youngsters with a substance produced in his esophagus. Only after the females return and the couple exchanges shifts does the male get to head to sea for a well-deserved meal.

Source Image via ASOC Pictures [Flickr]

7) Namaqua Sandgrouse

When it comes to care after the chick is born, the Namaqua sandgrouse is one heck of a dad. During the incubation period, he sits on the nest at night and then the mother incubates the eggs during the day. The father really shines after the chicks hatch though and the mother leaves the family to fend for themselves. The birds live in arid desert areas and while the nests are always located around watering holes, the young chicks cannot make it to water, so the dad has to bring it to them. He dips his belly in water every morning and his feathers absorb the water like a sponge, each feather can hold up to eight times its weight in water. He then returns to the nest where the chicks can drink the water straight from his feathers.

Source Image via Arno & Louise [Flickr]

Greater Hornbills

Ever wonder why a hornbill has such a massive beak? It’s partly so they can break out of their nesting area when they grow up. Greater hornbills build their nests inside hollowed out parts of trees, which are then sealed off with mud and feces so nothing can get in or out without quite a struggle. The mother stays in the inside of this nest and a small slit is left in the plug so the male can pass food to her. For the entire incubation period, he will make up to five trips a day to feed his mate and the chicks once they hatch. When the chicks become large enough to crowd the nest, the mother will break her way out of the nest with her casque and then reseal the barrier, leaving the chicks inside. The mother and father then continue to take turns feeding the chicks for another four or five months until their beaks are developed enough that they can break the seal and fly out.

Source Image via Lip Kee [Flickr]

9) Rheas

Rhea may not be the most loyal mates, with each male courting anywhere between 2 and 12 females, but they are certainly great dads. Each male can incubate 10 and 60 eggs for around 40 days (an average nest contains around 26 eggs from 7 females). When the chicks are born, he is very protective, charging anyone, including female rheas, who approach the babies. He raises the chicks completely on his own and teaches them how to fend for themselves.

Source Image via LadyofHats [Wikimedia]

10) Jacanas

Like the rheas, jacanas are very active fathers who not only incubate their nests but teach their babies about the basics of life. Known as lily trotters or Jesus birds for their ability to walk on water using plants like the lily pads, these little birds lay their nests on submerged plants and the male protects and incubates the eggs while the female finds more mates. If the eggs start to sink or otherwise become endangered, he will carry them to a new nesting site under his wing. Once they are born, he helps feed and care for the chicks until they can survive on their own. The female will only return if the something happens to the eggs and the male is therefore open to breed again.

Source Image via emilybean [Flickr]

11) Giant Water Bugs

Insects aren’t generally considered to be the most active parents in the world, but the male giant water bug is certainly an exception. He totes the entire brood of eggs –often up to 150 at a time– on his back until they hatch. The female simply lays the eggs and then glues them to daddy before she takes off, leaving him to rear the youngsters. During the three weeks he carries the eggs, he protects them and takes time to dry them out of the water so they don’t get moldy.

Source Image via NoiseCollusion [Flickr]

12) Marmosets

Primates can be good dads too (as evidenced by our celebration of Father’s Day in general), and humans aren’t the only good fathers in our animal order. Enter marmosets. Not only are these little tiny monkeys simply adorable, they are also great parents.

Male marmosets start caring for their young from day one when they groom and lick newborns as the mother recuperates from her ordeal (the babies are generally born as twins and usually make up around 25 percent of her body weight, the equivalent of a human woman giving birth to a baby between 30 and 40 pounds). After thate feeds, carries and grooms the infants. Meanwhile, the mother will often get pregnant again within the next two weeks, leaving daddy to take care of the babies.

Source Image via Joachim S. Muller [Flickr]

I hope you all have a great day with your families, and to all you fathers out there, Happy Father’s day!

Isabella Rossellini has a new video series called Seduce Me, in which she acts out the bizarre mating rituals of different animal species. Besides the cuttlefish shown, there are videos for bedbugs, salmon, snakes, and duck mating. Warning: adult themes. Link -Thanks, Jelena!

Previously at Neatorama: 30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits

Their spines are too small to cut off by hand. So the duo used a laser instead, wielding the light with such surgical precision that they could cut off a third of each millimetre-long spine, or the entire structure.

They found that a partial shave did nothing, but the full treatment significantly reduced the odds of the males mating with females.

The conclusion is that the fly’s penis hairs act as Velcro, to grasp the female long enough to inject sperm. Now you know. Link -via Treehugger

Previously at Neatorama: 30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits.

Photo manipulated at Speechable.

Photo: Jurgen Otto

This is a kind of jumping spider, and it’s only about 5mm in size.  The males have a colorful pattern on flaps that extend from their abdomen during breeding/mating.  In addition to this, they raise their back pair of legs and dance from side to side to win over their plain brown females.

Only found in Australia, they were classified as species Maratus volans because people originally thought the flap was for gliding after jumping. Wiki

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Stephen Fry gives Mark Carwardine a hard time after the parrot attempts to mate with the zoologist. From the BBC series Last Chance to See. -via Arbroath

Statistical analysis of men rating women indicated that, even though both the body and face ratings were significant positive predictors of the ratings given to the combined images, the face ratings were stronger predictors of the combined ratings. It was also observed that the ratings for combined images was slightly higher for short term relationships as compared to long term relationships. One other significant observation – when the short term and long term relationship data were analyzed separately, the body ratings stood as more significant predictors to the combined ratings than face ratings, for short term relationships. In the case of females rating men, similar to men – the body and face ratings were both significant predictors with the face ratings being very strong predictors as compared to the body ratings. However, females ratings for men did not show any difference under the short term and long term decisions.

This only makes sense, as we tend to cover our bodies most of the time, but you have to look at that face a lot. Link -via Digg

On the Delaware Bay shore, there’s a swinging party that’s been taking place for millions of years.

If you’re a female horseshoe crab, then it’s your night. You’ll swim to shore, meet a special someone and he’ll clasp onto the back of your shell. You and he will crawl onto the beach together, where you’ll spawn at high tide under the light of the full moon.

But the mate attached to your shell is not your only tryst. On this night, you will mate with up to 13 males, all at the same time. Thousands of horseshoe crabs will pile on top of one another, glistening shells covering the beach for miles.

Louisa Jonas of NPR’s All Things Considered has the story: Link

Don’t Miss: 30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits

Researchers in the Tai National Park in West Africa found that in a study of 262 chimpanzees, male chimpanzees favored giving food to females that were in heat and ready to mate:

Gomes and co-author Christophe Boesch observed all of this while studying wild chimpanzees in the Tai National Park at the Cote d’Ivoire, West Africa. The chimp group — consisting of 49 individuals total — included five adult males and 14 adult females, which were the focus of the study published in the latest PLoS One.

The researchers recorded 262 male to female meat transfers, with the meat mostly coming from red colobus monkeys. Chimps also kill other types of monkeys, duikers and small mammals.

Gomes and Boesch collected data on matings, observing the same number — 262 — during times when females were in estrous. The scientists noted that males would share with all types of females, whether in estrous or not, although the former received preference.

“After all,” Gomes said, “males double their mating success by sharing meat with females, and this is a potentially enormous benefit.”

Link

From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Geekazoid.

The male mosquito’s buzz, or flight tone, is normally about 600 cycles per second, or 600-Hz. The female’s tone is about 400-Hz. In music, he’s roughly a D, and she’s about a G. So the male brings his tone into phase with the female’s to create a near-perfect duet. Together, the two tones create what musicians call an overtone — a third, fainter tone at 1200-Hz. Only then will the mosquitoes mate.

Christopher Joyce of NPR has the story: Link (with video clip)

Previously on Neatorama: 30 Strangest Animal Mating Habits