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Beer + fraternity = lawsuit:
A college student claims he was injured when a fraternity member in a “drunken stupor” decided “that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus,” and did so, “but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant’s rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back,” and fall off the fraternity’s deck.
The student is now suing the fraternity, Alpha Tau Omega, for failing to provide a railing for the deck as well as the frat brother who lit the rocket in question.
Prediction: Google will not be this young man’s friend in the future.
News Link and Complaint -via Lowering the Bar | Photo: Flickr user snackfight
The Freetail Brewing Co. of San Antonio, Texas discovered that the name of one of its beers was claimed by another company. It learned this fact when it received a threatening letter from the attorney of that company. The brewers decided that fighting the issue wasn’t worth the trouble, but wanted to have a bit of fun with their response. Pictured above is a screenshot of part of the letter, which can be found at the link. Much to Metzger’s credit, even though he didn’t go to law school, he knew about the advantage of sending a copy to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Link and Company Website -via TigerHawk | Above image has been edited for space
The parents of a 25-year old man in Spain told him to either look for a job or they would stop paying him $588 in monthly allowance. Then they followed through on their threat. So the young man sued them in court. The judge dismissed his complaint and ordered him to move out of their home and find a job:
However, the judge told the man, who has not been named in court documents, that he must leave his parents’ house within 30 days.
The judge said the man was studying law, albeit at a slow rate, and would probably not complete the degree for several years, but he thought he was still capable of finding some kind of work.
Link via Lowering the Bar | Photo by Flickr user Tax_Rebate used under Creative Commons license
Slipping on a banana peel is a classic cartoon gag. And now it’s the basis for a real lawsuit:
Ida Valentine, 58, is suing the 99 Cents Only store where she slipped on one last April.
She said that she suffered a herniated disk and tissue damage, spent $9,000 on medical bills and is seeking an unspecified amount in damages.
“She fell and landed on her backside,” said Courtney Mikolaj of the Quirk Law Firm in Ventura, California, which is representing her.[...]
The image in popular culture of an unwary pedestrian tripping head over heels on a banana peel stems from the late 19th century, when bananas were a popular street food in American cities and the press portrayed them as a public nuisance.
In 1879, Harper’s Weekly groused that “whosoever throws banana skins on the sidewalk does a great unkindness to the public, and is quite likely to be responsible for a broken limb.”
Link via TigerHawk | Image: Disney
Gabriella Nagy of Toronto is suing Rogers Wireless, her cell phone provider, for breaking up her marriage. She argues that the company disclosed her call history to her husband, which revealed her secret affair. He left her. Now Nagy wants $600,000:
In 2007, Gabriella Nagy had a cellphone account with Rogers which sent the monthly bill to her home address in her maiden name. Her husband was the account holder for the family’s cable TV service at the same address. Around June 4, 2007, he called Rogers to add internet and home phone.
The following month, Rogers mailed a “global” invoice for all of its services to the matrimonial home that included an itemized bill for Nagy’s cellular service, according to the statement of claim filed in Ontario Superior Court of Justice.
When Nagy’s husband opened the Rogers invoice, he saw several hour-long phone calls to a single phone number.
Link via Geekosystem | Photo: US Nuclear Regulatory Commission
Brooklyn attorney David Zevin plans to submit an MRI scan as evidence in a sexual discrimination suit. This will mark the first time that a lie-detecting MRI has been used in a US court other than for the sentencing phase of a criminal trial:
So, Zevin had the coworker undergo an fMRI brain scan by the company Cephos, which claims to provide “independent, scientific validation that someone is telling the truth.”
Laboratory studies using fMRI, which measures blood-oxygen levels in the brain, have suggested that when someone lies, the brain sends more blood to the ventrolateral area of the prefrontal cortex. In a very small number of studies, researchers have identified lying in study subjects (.pdf) with accuracy ranging from 76 percent to over 90 percent. But some scientists and lawyers like New York University neuroscientist Elizabeth Phelps doubts those results can be applied outside the lab.
“The data in their studies don’t appear to be reliable enough to use in a court of law,” Phelps said. “There is just no reason to think that this is going to be a good measure of whether someone is telling the truth.
Link via Popular Science | Photo: NIH
Of all the inane lawsuits we hear about, these are the worst offenders. Well, maybe not all of them; I suppose there are plenty of people out there who have wanted to sue God at one time or another. But these seven cases are truly outrageous!
In 1991, a Michigan man sued the large brewer for false advertising and mental anguish. Citing a commercial in which two women come to life for a couple of Budweiser drinkers, he was angry that he wasn’t experiencing the same fantasy. Because he’s an idiot and tried to make this happen so often, he also sued for financial loss. The case was dismissed by the judge.
From the Upcoming 
ueue, submitted by 
California man, Erik Estavillo, is suing Activision Blizzard, makers of World of Warcraft, for one million dollars because he claims the slow game pace is designed to take the player longer to get where he needs to go. He says the slow game pace is causing him anxiety, agoraphobia, depression and Crohn’s Disease.
Lest you think that was the highlight of the suit, just wait until you hear the witnesses he is calling on his behalf: Winona Ryder and Martin Lee Gore, the founder of Depeche Mode. He thinks Winona’s interest in Catcher In The Rye makes her qualified to discuss alienation and that Gore’s songs make him an expert in alienation because he is “sad, lonely and alienated, as can be seen in the songs he writes.”
Fifteen of the kind of frivolous lawsuits that make you want to rip your hair out… including the guy who sued the family of the kid he ran over in his car, the A-student who sued to get an A+, and of course the inmate who tried to sue himself for $5 million.
Two well-meaning teenage girls in Durango, Colorado decided one summer night to bake cookies for their neighbors. They packaged the baked treats in plastic wrap with a heart-shaped message wishing the recipients a good night. When they knocked at the door of Wanita Renea Young, however, the woman became so terrified that someone was outside her house at 10:30 PM that she suffered an anxiety attack and successfully sued the girls for $930 to cover a trip to the emergency room.
From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by fishkins.
