The problem with being dead and buried – besides all that rotting flesh stuff – is that it’s darned lonely to spend all of eternity by oneself.
Thankfully, inventor Jeff Dannenberg took care of the problem with this nifty and patented invention:
An apparatus and method for generating post-burial audio communications from surviving friends and loved ones in a casket by providing a burial
casket, and providing an electronic audio communication system for placement in said casket to automatically electronically generate post-burial communications in said casket.
This way, you can continue wish the dead "Happy Birthday," "Merry Christmas," "Happy Anniversary" until the end of time. Or until the battery runs out, whichever is first.
Link – Thanks Martin g!
Previously on Neatorama: Patently Silly Animal Patents | Top 10 Strangest Anti-Terrorism Patents
When I first saw futurist Steven M. Johnson‘s "inventions" (and believe me, the word "invention" under-describes what Steve produces), two thoughts popped in my mind.
The first is that they remind me of "chindogu," the Japanese art of useless inventions, except that Steve’s brilliantly whimsical (or is it whimsically brilliant?) creations are like chindogu on steroids. And the second is that we absolutely must have him on Neatorama.
Allison Arieff of The New York Times’ Opinionator Blog describes him as "a sort of R. Crumb meets R. Buckminster Fuller":
In discussing his often fantastical, sometimes silly, sometimes visionary concepts, he has said, “If I could use two words to describe what it is that I enjoy it is that I love to be sneakily outrageous . . . [It may be that] I have decided an idea has no practical worth and would never be likely to be adopted seriously (like most of my ideas), but I like it anyway.”
Steve has written two books, What the World Needs Now and Public Therapy Buses, Information Specialty Bums, Solar Cook-A-Mats and Other Visions of the 21st Century. featuring hundreds of his inventions over the years (some of which actually came true), including these gems:
PERSONALS T-SHIRT
A brave new generation indulges in unabashed self-advertisement, sporting personals T-shirts
BEDSHEET-ON-A-ROLL
The automatic self-making bed, a dream of many adolescents and some adults, is produced. All that is required is periodic forward winding of the take-up sheet roll, which draws a fresh sheet segment around a roller to create a "pair" of clean sheets. The used sheet roll is picked up for cleaning by a mobile laundry service, which leaves behind a fresh roll.
TOILET FOR TWO
Installing a duplex toilet would be considerably less expensive than constructing an additional bathroom to accomodate a growing family.
VACUUM SUIT
Wearing the vacuum suit, one feels free to move around the house, developing a skating or dancing motion while listening to stereo headphones. Vacuum motor can be reversed for yard leaf blowing. "Sauna" suit helps one to lose weight.
The bad news is that those books are out of print, though we do have a small stock of these rare books for sale. The good news is that he’s never stopped inventing (he’s got boxes and boxes of ideas jotted down for posterity) and that yours truly managed to coax the 70 72-year-old inventor to come out of retirement and produce a new regular series on exclusively on Neatorama.
Here is the inaugural blog post of Steven M. Johnson’s Museum of Possibilities: Link – Enjoy!
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If you haven't had your big breakthrough yet, try one of these simple strategies: 1. CRACK OPEN A CAN OF BEER
Several nights later, while suffering from insomnia, Fraze went down to his workshop. By the next morning, he'd developed a built-in, tear-off opener for cans. Over time, Fraze refined the idea, and by 1965, 75 percent of American brewers were using Fraze's ring-pull design for their beer. 2. SHAVE YOUR STUBBLE
As a traveling salesman, he understood that the key to financial success was to create something that people would have to buy over and over again. But his big idea didn't hit him until he started shaving one morning in 1895. At the time, Gillette was using a traditional safety razor, which had to be sharpened after almost every use. So, Gillette imagined a blade that could simply be thrown away when it became dull. By putting a sharp edge on a thin piece of sheet steel, he created the first disposable razor. It took him eight years to get the invention to market, but once it hit stores, Gillette quickly became a millionaire.
In 1913, he retired to California to grow fruit and pursue his utopian dream of founding a city called Metropolis, where everyone would live in perfect harmony. Let's just say the shaving venture went more smoothly. 3. TAKE A COLD SHOWER
One morning, Hoerni was taking a shower when he noticed the way the water flowed over his hands, and it gave him an idea. If the transistors could be coated in the right substance, then dust and moisture would just flow right over them. He then thought of silicon dioxide, the perfect material for the job. His solution eventually led to the integrated circuit, the silicon chip, and almost everything else to come out of Silicon Valley. (Photo: Fairchild Semiconductor) 4. WALK THE DOG
A few weeks later, he was walking his dog in the woods when he noticed that his pants were covered in burrs. When he got home, he examined one of the burrs under his microscope and noticed that it was covered with tiny hooks that stuck to the small loops of thread in his clothes. By replicating the idea using little hooks and loops made of nylon, de Mestral developed Velcro. He eventually sold the rights to the patent and made millions in royalties, never to deal with zippers again. (Photo: Francoise and Charles de Mestral) 5. DREAM A LITTLE DREAM
Then one night, he awoke from a nightmare about being captured by cannibals and stuffed into a stew-pot. The dream nagged at him until he realized that the cannibals had each carried a spear with a hole in the tip. This was the breakthrough that Howe needed. Traditional sewing needle were designed so that the hole carrying the thread went through the fabric last. For Howe's machine to work, he needed the hole to go through first. He patented his sewing machine in 1846, but other manufacturers, including Isaac Singer, stole his design. After a lengthy court battle, Howe was finally awarded royalties on all sewing machine sales until both he and his patent expired in 1867. |
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The article above, written by Ashley Larsen, is reprinted with permission from Scatterbrained section of the Jul/Aug 2009 issue of mental_floss magazine. Be sure to visit mental_floss' website and blog for more fun stuff!
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MIT researchers led by chemical engineer Robert Cohen and mechanical engineer Gareth McKinley have created the world’s first superoleophobic and superhydrophobic surface (let me translate for you: the "super surface" repels both water and oil):
A group of MIT researchers have created an improved set of design rules for making any surface impervious to any liquid, be it water or gasoline. Such materials could eventually have promise as fingerprint-repelling coatings, fuel filters, self-washing car paints, and stain-resistant clothing. [...]
They started with a polymer developed by the Air Force that contains large numbers of oil-repelling fluorine groups. The MIT researchers made the material even more oil resistant by using lithography to pattern it with overhanging microstructures. These tiny structures create air pockets that help suspend liquids and prevent them from penetrating to the surface. The MIT researchers found that the surfaces are both superoleophobic and also superhydrophobic, or water repelling. Because they repel everything, they’re called omniphobic.
Link – via Blue’s News
Photo: Anish Tuteja/Wonjae Choi

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