Noted founding father Benjamin Franklin published a list of different ways we refer to someone as drunk in the Pennsylvania Gazette on January 6, 1737. Franklin said he collected these phrases at -what else- a tavern. Here are just a few:
Got the Indian Vapours,
Topsy Turvey,
As Drunk as David’s Sow,
He’s got his Top Gallant Sails out,
Seen the yellow Star,
As Stiff as a Ring-bolt,
The King is his Cousin,
Got Kib’d Heels,
As Dizzy as a Goose,
Had a Kick in the Guts,
Spoke with his Friend,
Cherubimical,
He’s kiss’d black Betty,
He’s had a Thump over the Head with Sampson’s Jawbone
Of course, that’s far from 200. See the rest at mental_floss. Link

Texting and walking is bad for you, but drinking is no slouch either when it comes to the danger department. Here’s what happened to one intoxicated guy who fell into a drain and got himself wedged:
A motorist raised the alarm after he went to move a car parked next to the drain and spotted the trapped man.
He said: "I heard a voice saying help and at first I didn’t see him.
"Then I tried to pull him out but he was wedged tight. He didn’t see that jokers had removed the drain cover as he staggered home."
Firemen spent an hour removing part of the drain before they could pull the man free.

