It’s something that most of us do on a regular basis, but don’t it much thought.  Not so for Shannon and Katie of Gum Alert blog. These two girls (who obviously have a lot of time on their hands) are on their way to review just about every type of chewing gum on the market, in an eloquent, almost OCD-like fashion. 

Take, for instance, their review of Orbit Maui Melon Mint:

Flavor: No. Just, no. Is this supposed to taste like watermelon? Or Mint? Or both? Because it doesn’t taste like either. It smells peculiarly like Choward’s Violets, and I bet that’s what I’m tasting, too. The taste is completely nondescript, vaguely sweet and somewhat bitter. It leaves a gross taste in the back of my mouth that I associate with “aftertaste,” but it happens DURING the chew, not after. I don’t want aftertaste in mid-chew. Big fail. In fact – once I remove the gum from my mouth, the actual aftertaste is, in fact, more pleasant than the duringtaste itself.

Texture: Like most Orbit, the texture is fine. Starts off soft, and firms up to be the perfect chewable consistency. If this review was based on texture alone, it’d get far more gumballs.

Overall: I cannot recommend Orbit Maui Melon Mint to any sane person. There are far better melony gums on the market, if that’s what you’re craving for. I’d even suggest resorting to a sugared watermelon-flavored gum – a Hubba Bubba or a BubbleYum – if you absolutely have to. But stay away from this one. Stay far away.

Rating: oo (two gumballs)

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From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Spare.