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One of the things I like most about Miss Cellania’s personal blog is the funny stories and jokes. Like this one I’ll set up for you:
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.
So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
Find out why over at MissCellania: Link
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Dick Kleis, a farmer in Zwingle, Iowa, decided to express his affection for his wife in a way that she would (apparently) appreciate. On the occasion of her birthday, he wrote out “HAP B DAY LUV U” in giant letters made of manure across his field:
But Carole Kleis isn’t just any woman — she’s the wife of a farmer, and a little natural fertilizer doesn’t bother her a bit, even if this particular usage is rather unusual.
“He’s done weird things before for birthdays,” she said. “But maybe not this weird.” [...]
“I was going to put a heart out there after the happy birthday, but I ran out of manure,” he said. “It’s not hard. Any manure will work but the good, soft, gushy, warm stuff works the best. It kind of melts the snow.”
Link via The Presurfer | Photo: My Fox DC
Farmer Zheng Dexun of Langzhong, China dug up a fleeceflower root that looks like a human being right down to the arms, legs, and facial features. It is 62 centimeters tall and weights 5.8 kilograms. Zeng, worried about the consequences of digging it up, put it back in the ground, saying ” don’t know whether it is good or bad to dig out a Chinese knotweed that looks like a human. I’d better put it back in the earth!” Full-sized image at the link.
Link via Urlesque | Image: WENN
Forget people! The real concern for farmers is not that humans get swine flu from pigs … it’s the other way around!
Humans have it. Pigs don’t. At least not yet, and U.S. pork producers are doing everything they can to make sure that the new H1N1 virus, known around the world as the "swine flu," stays out of their herds.
"That is the biggest concern, that your herd could somehow contract this illness from an infected person," said Kansas hog farmer Ron Suther, who is banning visitors from his sow barns and requiring maintenance workers, delivery men and other strangers to report on recent travels and any illness before they step foot on his property.
"If a person is sick, we don’t want you coming anywhere on the farm," Suther said.
Previously on Neatorama:
- Scientists: Swine Flu Milder Than Run-Of-The-Mill Winter Flu
- Swine Flu: Bacon’s Revenge
- What is Swine Flu? How Does an Animal Disease Spread to a Human Host?
- 5 Deadliest Pandemics in History
