Warning: This Chinese New Year video might cause you to run for your hankie. From Bernas, a rice distribution company. -via The Daily What

My Monster Family Car Stickers | $9.95

It’s a set of family car stickers shaped like monsters! The My Monster Family Car Sticker set from the NeatoShop features Franken-dad, Mummy mom, Werebrother, Vampsister, Baby from the Black Lagoon, Dogberus and Cyclop Cat, ranging from 4″ tall down to 1.5″ tall. Simply peel and stick the vinyl stickers, and you can remove them with no residue mess. Monsters designed by artist Mike Jacobsen. My Zombie Family car stickers are available, too, at the NeatoShop!

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The Welcome Home Blog posts videos of military personnel coming home after a deployment. You are welcome to browse or even submit yours! This video is called Soldiers Surprising Their Loved Ones: PART ONE, a compilation of returning service members surprising their parents, spouses, children, siblings, or pets. There are several compilations listed under “best of” at the blog. The Welcome Home Blog is not limited to surprise videos, but that’s what most of them are. Link -via Breakfast Links

Pleasant Holidays With The Entire Family Tea – $9.95

Are you dreading the holidays? You need the Pleasant Holidays With The Family Tea from the NeatoShop. This Darjeeling with spice tea provides just the right dose of laughter to help soothe frayed nerves.

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more fun Food & Drinks!

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Lewis Hine took this family photo in 1909. The caption at Shorpy reads:

January 22, 1909. Tifton, Georgia. “Family working in the Tifton Cotton Mill. Mrs. A.J. Young works in mill and at home. Nell (oldest girl) alternates in mill with mother. Mammy (next girl) runs 2 sides. Mary (next) runs 1½ sides. Elic (oldest boy) works regularly. Eddie (next girl) helps in mill, sticks on bobbins. Four smallest children not working yet. The mother said she earns $4.50 a week and all the children earn $4.50 a week. Husband died and left her with 11 children. Two of them went off and got married. The family left the farm two years ago to work in the mill.” Photo and caption by Lewis Wickes Hine.

Not long after the photo was taken, the seven youngest children were sent to an orphanage. Historian Joe Manning wondered what happened to the family. He did the research and reconstructed the story of Catherine Young, her children, and their descendants. It’s a fascinating read, which includes the history of Georgia’s cotton mills and evolving child labor laws. Link -via Metafilter

Do you have a zombieriffic family? Tell the world, or at least the guy stuck behind you in traffic, with the My Zombie Family Car Stickers by Adam “ape lad” Koford from the NeatoShop. This frighteningly fabulous set comes with 8 stickers:

• Zombie Dad
• Zombie Mom
• Zombie Brother
• Zombie Sister
• Zombie Baby
• Zombie Cat
• Zombie Dog
• and heart-shaped brain

Be sure to check out the NeatoShop for more Zombie fun!

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Craftster member ChainCrafts made armor for his family because his wife wanted a “Post-Apocalypse/Zombie Slaying family photo shoot” for her birthday. She got her wish. The awesome photographs are shared at the Craftster forum. Link -via Boing Boing

(Image credit: Bakan Photography)

In the French animation Mortys, death is a working mother. Business is disrupted when her child schemes to get more of her time. Mortys is a graduation short film co-directed by Gaelle Lebegue, Mathieu Vidal, Aurelien Ronceray-Peslin et Nicolas Villeneuve, and produced by the ESMA. -via I Am Bored

It has long been theorized that the week prior to an exam is an extremely dangerous time for the relatives of college students. Ever since I began my teaching career, I heard vague comments, incomplete references and unfinished remarks, all alluding to the “Dead Grandmother Problem.”

Few colleagues would ever be explicit in their description of what they knew, but I quickly discovered that anyone who was involved in teaching at the college level would react to any mention of the concept. In my travels I found that a similar phenomenon is known in other countries. In Eng- land it is called the “Graveyard Grannies” problem, in France the “Chere Grand’mere,” while in Bulgaria it is inexplicably known as “The Toadstool Waxing Plan” (I may have had some problems here with the translation. Since the revolution this may have changed anyway.) Although the problem may be international in scope it is here in the USA that it reaches its culmination, so it is only fitting that the first warnings originate here also.

The basic problem can be stated very simply:

A student’s grandmother is far more likely to die suddenly just before the student takes an exam, than at any other time of year.

While this idea has long been a matter of conjecture or merely a part of the folklore of college teaching, I can now confirm that the phenomenon is real. For over twenty years I have collected data on this supposed relationship, and have not only confirmed what most faculty had suspected, but also found some additional aspects of this process that are of potential importance to the future of the country. The results presented in this report provide a chilling picture and should waken the profession and the general public to a serious health and sociological problem before it is too late.

Table 1: The mean number of family deaths/100 students for periods when no exam is coming up, the week prior to a mid-term exam and the week prior to finals. Values are corrected for the number of students in each grade class and the relative frequency of mid-terms and finals.

As can be seen in Table 1, when no exam is imminent the family death rate per 100 students (FDR) is low and is not related to the student’s grade in the class. The effect of an upcoming exam is unambiguous. The mean FDR jumps from 0.054 with no exam, to 0.574 with a mid-term, and to 1.042 with a final, representing increases of 10-fold and 19-fold, respectively. Figure 1 shows that the changes are strongly grade dependent, with correlation coefficients of 0.974 for mid-terms and 0.988 for finals. Overall, a student who is failing a class and has a final coming up is more than 50 times more likely to lose a family member than is an A student not facing any exams.

Figure 1. Graph of data in Table 1, showing the relationship between exam, student grade and FDR. The equation for the simple linear regression on each is shown, as is the correlation coefficient.

Only one conclusion can be drawn from these data. Family members literally worry themselves to death over the outcome of their relatives’ performance on each exam.

Naturally, the worse the student’s record is, and the more important the exam, the more the family worries; and it is the ensuing tension that presumably causes premature death. Since such behavior is most likely to result in high blood pressure, leading to stroke and heart attacks, this would also explain why these deaths seem to occur so suddenly, with no warning and usually immediately prior to the exam. It might also explain the disproportionate number of grandmothers in the victim pool, since they are more likely to be susceptible to strokes. This explanation, however, does not explain why grandfathers are seldom affected, and clearly there are other factors involved that have not been identified. Nonetheless, there is considerable comfort to be had in realizing that these results indicate that the American family is obviously still close-knit and deeply concerned about the welfare of individual members, perhaps too much so.

Family Values
As some colleagues have expressed some degree of skepticism over my interpretation of these data, I have extended the scope of my research into the phenomenon. Using readily available sources (including the National Census Bureau and The National Enquirer ) have examined the relationship between education and family structure. Interestingly, there appears to be no correlation between FDR and the size of the extended family (Table 2). Either large families worry less on a per capita basis than do small families, or there is a single “designated worrier” in each family, who bears the brunt of the danger. The exceptionally high death rate among grandmothers (24 times greater than for grandfathers) suggests the latter explanation is correct. If not, then people from very small families would be well advised to discourage other family members from attending college, since the potential risk becomes excessive with so few members to share the danger.

Table 2. Mean FDR for all exam periods and all student GPAs over the last decade. Families ranging in size from 1-30+ show no significant correlation (0.04) between family size and FDR. The figure for students with no family would have been zero, had the class not included a family-less student (a member of the baseball team) who tragically lost at least one grandmother every semester for four years.

The problem is clearly far more pervasive than most people realize. For example, if one examines the percentage of the population attending college and the mean divorce rate on a country by country basis, there is a very strong positive correlation between the two. The United States has the highest percentage of its population attending college and also the world’s highest divorce rate, while South Yemen is last in both categories.

Although this study is still in progress and will form the basis for a future CSU grant proposal, it seems results already are becoming clear. As more people go to college, their families find that, for safety reasons, it is wise to increase the number of grandmothers per family. Since there is currently no biological way of doing so (though another grant proposal in preparation will ask for funds to look into the prospect of cloning grandmothers, using modern genetic engineering techniques), the families must resort to increasing the pool by means of divorce and remarriage. Sociologists may wish to use these data to examine the effect of education on family structure from a new perspective.

While the general facts of this problem have been known, if not widely discussed, I have recently become aware of a potentially far more dangerous aspect of the whole process. This trend came to light when a student reported two family members dying prior to an exam. Examination of the numbers of deaths over the last two decades clearly showed that we are in a period of “death inflation.” When the figures for all students and all exams are pooled for each year, a disturbing outcome is seen (see Figure 2).

Figure 2: The mean FDR/100 students for all exams and all grades of students for the years 1968-1988. The best-fitting curve shows an exponentially rising curve, with the equation shown in the figure.

Three Solutions
The FDR is climbing at an accelerating rate. Extrapolation of this curve suggests that 100 years from now the FDR will stand at 644/100 students/exam. At that rate only the largest families would survive even the first semester of a student’s college career. Clearly something will have to be done to reverse this trend before the entire country is depopulated. Three possible solutions come to mind:

1. Stop giving exams. At first glance, this seems to be the simplest answer to the problem. Like many simplistic solutions, however, it fails to consider the full ramifications of such a course. Without exam results, all medical schools would be forced to close their doors, having no way of identifying worthy students. The resultant dearth of physicians in the next generation would throw so many other professionals (tax accountants, malpractice attorneys, golf pros, etc.) out of work that the economy would go into a nosedive. Regretfully, we cannot recommend this solution.

2. Allow only orphans to enroll at universities. This is an attractive idea, except for the shortage of orphans. More could be created, of course, but this would replicate the very problem we are trying to avoid, i.e., excessive family deaths.

3. Have students lie to their families. Students must never let any of their relatives know that they are at university. (Initial field tests show that keeping just the grandmother ignorant is neither feasible nor safe for the rest of the family.) It is not enough merely to lie about exams; if the family doesn’t know when the exams are, they may then worry constantly and this may lead to even higher death rates. The only solution is that the family must never be aware that the student is even enrolled at a university. Students must explain their long absences by pretending they are in the armed forces, have joined some religious cult, or have been kidnapped by extraterrestrials. All of these alternate explanations will keep the family ignorant of the true, dangerous, fact. Although it might be argued that such large-scale deceptions cannot be maintained for long periods, the success of many politicians suggests other- wise.

What I Recommend
It will take time to discover whether any of these solutions are feasible. In the interim, the problem is clearly far too important to be ignored. Following the US government’s lead on so many similar, potentially catastrophic problems (global warming, ozone layer depletion, and ocean pollution), I propose that a commission be established to study the problem in more depth. While the state is deciding on the make-up of such a committee and what its charge should be, I would urge all members of the academic community to start keeping their own records. If faculty throughout the world were to send me summaries of their own knowledge about this matter, I could compile a follow-up report for publication in a year or two.

(Title illustration by Peaco Todd)

_____________________

This article is republished with permission from the November-December 1999 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. You can download or purchase back issues of the magazine, or subscribe to receive future issues. Or get a subscription for someone as a gift!

Visit their website for more research that makes people LAUGH and then THINK.

Now, this is the perfect family portrait. You see, everyone is smiling naturally, as if they are really enjoying themselves. Continue to see how this feat was accomplished.

You may want to try this trick at your next family gathering. Link -via reddit, where you’ll find more links to creatively altered versions of the picture.

The best part about the story, however, is that Hero was recently injured and was nearly put to sleep.

Their dog had been hit by a car in recent months and suffered a badly broken leg and other injuries. They were given the option to put her down, but they declined.

“She’s our hero and if we wouldn’t have saved her with her leg, she wouldn’t have saved us today,” Rankin said. “I’m getting her the biggest steak that she can eat and want.”

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My mom doesn’t accept much help in the kitchen, holidays or Mondays—not because she doesn’t trust others to get it right, but because she just doesn’t know how to slow down. Never did. And accept help? She’s as likely to do that as she is to ask for it; i.e., not at all. She reminds me of the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, who systematically gets his appendages hacked off in battle but still won’t call it a day. Make no mistake, having grown up as one of five girls in an inner-city, working-class home, I’m no stranger to hard work. But there was never a time when we did more work than she did. Ever. Even at 83, I’m not sure it’s even possible to outwork my mom. As she’s aged, all we can manage is guerrilla warfare.

My mother and grandmother helped me learn the family recipes as soon as I was old enough to be interested, and I’ve been hosting the family feast for quite a few years now. Now if I could only get my children interested… How about your family? Link

Sean Christensen interviews a woman about a very important sandwich she made for her brother many years ago. Even small things can become an unforgettable part of your family history. -via The Daily What

Bill and Amarins packed up their three young daughters Cheyenne, Jasmine, and Robin and set off on a 7,000 mile journey from Mt. Vernon, Kentucky (just up the road from me) to Alaska. What’s different about this trip is that they are traveling on a bicycle built for five! They call themselves the Pedouins, which is combination of pedal and Bedouins, meaning nomadic people. The journey included a detour to Mexico, since the purpose of the trip is to teach their children about the world. The family began the trip in October of last year, and they’ve made it to California so far. You can follow their adventure on their website. Link -Thanks, Hanan!

It all began 70 years ago with Anita Marshall. Her daughter, Alicia Bams, shared her birthday and it kept snowballing from there. Soon, Anita’s grandson, Eddie Marshall, checked in on the same day. Then, along came granddaughter Sydne freeman and, now, Mila.

Bams says, “Now we have one more person to put on the birthday cake every year.”

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From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by jmillitzer.

Link Image Via Daily Mail

This Thanksgiving, after fighting the long lines at the airport, navigating the parking lot that used to be called freeways, and defusing family tension at the dinner table, everyone could use a little humor. So wear this T-shirt and hope that your family sees the humor in it and give you an extra serving of turkey!

From the Neatorama Shop: Link

Design by the talented Chris Murphy

Matt Woolbright of My San Antonio has the story:

Myers’ reunion with 10-year-old Hannah was his second of the day. He reunited with his 19-month-old daughter, Adison, just before surprising Hannah.

Adison didn’t know how to react, burying her face into her mom before uttering, “Hi, Daddy,” and bringing tears to many of the people there.

Hannah’s class was interrupted when Bessette announced that some friends would be talking to the class and taking pictures. When everyone was in place, mom and dad walked in.

Hannah’s expression and instant tears drove her mother to tears as well as she watched her daughter and husband reunite.

“I was so excited, I couldn’t believe it,” Hannah said. “I don’t really remember what happened because I was just so happy.”

Link | Watch the heartwarming video (Photo and video by John Davenport / Express-News.net)

Update 11/3/09 by Alex – I replaced the unattributed video with the original source over at My San Antonio News – Thanks Michael Knoop!

Army Reservist Staff Sgt. Brett Bennethum was ordered to Iraq in July. His four-year-old daughter Paige had a hard time letting go, so much that she held onto his hand in formation. No one, including the commanding officer, had the heart to pull her away. The picture of the incident, taken by Paige’s mother, has gone viral and touched people all over the country. Link -via Buzzfeed

(image credit: Abby Bennethum)

Growing up singing together has its advantages! This post looks at thirteen different sibling acts that made it big, with videos of each.

Often our brothers and sisters are the first people we sing and play music with, so if it works well, it’s only natural to continue to sing and play with them. The tonal similarity of siblings’ voices allows for the building of beautiful harmonies, which can explain the success of the music made by siblings.

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From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by Peachi.

* Should the allowance be given freely OR tied to chores?
* Should I only pay for extra chores?
* How much money should I give my kid?
* Should I let them spend it on what they want OR should I force them to save a portion of it?
* Coins, bills, or a savings account?
* How often should I give him/her allowance?

Personally, I give the kids a set amount every week, in order to teach them by trial and error how to handle money. The amount is less than their friends get, which forces them to think hard about how they spend it. Their allowance is not tied to performing family chores, but occasionally I give a bonus to someone who has been extra helpful (only as a surprise). How does your family handle children and their money, or how do you plan to do it? Link -via Consumerist

(image credit: Flickr user Pingu1963)

“Intimacy is important for emotional health. But good sleep is important for physical, emotional and mental health.”

What do you guys think? Would you sleep away from your love so you can actually improve your sleep?

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Kim Fischer of WOAI reports:

Boerne police said that they’ve never seen anything like it. A family stealing items right off a store counter. Then, caught on surveillance video, a child walking out the door with them.

Wal-Mart camera saw it all. First a man cases the jewelry section. Next, he brings in a child to cover him as he steals an entire carousel of jewelry worth $1,600. Then police say the adult let this small child do the dirty work. "She was the one who pushed that grocery cart out the front door …"

Link [video clip]

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Months later, I received an email from a William Diesslin, regarding my photos of Matten:

You didn’t know it at the time, but you photographed my great
grandfather’s store front! I’ve attached the photo for your reference.”

I scoured my photos until I found what seemed to be a match for the historic black and white picture Diesslin had sent. During the next few weeks, I learned the rest of the story. Diesslin’s search for his ancestry had been unsuccessful until he discovered my blog. Once he saw my photo he was able to identify the present day building and track down the owners, who confirmed the store had originally belonged to his great grandfather.

In a subsequent email he remarked:

"This will be a landmark for my family as my dad was orphaned at 14
years old, all family history was lost. Your photos may have opened up
a long lost link to my ancestors.”

There’s more to the story, like the fact that Diesslin stayed in that very building (it is now a hostel) back in the 1980′s and had abslutely no idea that it had any connection to his family. The series of coincidences are so bizarre as to be almost unbelievable. To read the rest of the story, and to see the histoic and present day photos, visit Hole In The Donut Travel Blog.

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From the Upcoming ueue, submitted by baweibel.