Are you so lazy that getting off the couch is becoming a bit of a chore? Looking for a way to practically live on your couch so you can avoid leaving the living room altogether, and begin a new phase of your life as a couch potato?
Then you need to bring these amazing products into your life and never leave your beloved couch again!
1. Cereal Pants-
(Image Via Cereal Pants)
First off are Cereal Pants- lounge pants with a built-in bowl in the crotch, so you can keep your snacks handy and put your lap to good use at the same time.
But where will all that food come from? Heading to the kitchen is way too much hassle, so how does a couch potato who has taken root keep food available at all times?
2. The SmarSofa-
(Image Via Gizmag)
Or, for the ultra rich sofa resident, there's this one-of-a-kind couch created by Domino’s Pizza:
3. The Ultimate Man Cave Couch-
The Ultimate Man Cave couch has two swivel mounted flat screen TVs, mini fridge, gaming console, DVD player, paper towel dispensing headrests, and many more fantastically manly features all built into a couch that costs a cool $30k.
If you can’t afford one of these fancy schmancy couches, and your diet mainly consists of canned beverages, then maybe all you need is someone to toss you a beer every once in a while:
YouTuber personalbeerrobot has created the ultimate beverage dispensing bot, which is controlled comfortably from the couch via iPhone. It even lets you choose what type of beverage you want, so you don't have to get off your butt or deal with disappointment.
Now that you're covered in the beverage department, what are you gonna do about going to the bathroom?
5. Toilet lounge chair-
(Image Via College Humor)
Okay, so technically this is a lounge chair, but if you have really good aim you can set this bad boy up right next to the sofa and fire when ready!
Or maybe you just need a wearable device that deals with the waste for you:
6. Wearable space toilet-
(Image Via Gizmodo)
Built by the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency, the wearable space toilet was built to be worn like a diaper, and takes away the need to get up and go to the bathroom. Here's how it works:
Sensors detect when the user relieves him or herself, automatically activating a rear-mounted suction unit that draws the waste away from the body through tubes into a separate container.
Nothing beats aerospace technology when you're couch bound by choice!
Do you actually have friends that can still stand to be around you, even though you've spent weeks transforming yourself into a full-blown couch potato? You might want to invest in this:
7. Convertible bunk bed couch-
(Image Via Resource Furniture)
The Palazzo convertible couch is great for overnight stays and technically still counts as a couch, so you don't have to give up your dream of earning a world record for couch potato-ism.
If people simply can't stand to be around you anymore, because of the space toilet or simply because of the smell, you might need something to comfort your lonely soul:
8. Female legs lap pillow-
(Image Via Koichi Kamoshida/Getty Images)
This somewhat creepy pillow shaped like a pair of feminine legs will help you forget your laziness has left you forever alone, and it's from Japan so you know it's extremely durable and made with lots of love.
If you're planning on spending every night on your sweet new convertible couch then you might want to bring a cuddle buddy along for the ride to Lonely Town:
9. Japanese Dakimakura (hug pillow)-
(Image Via Otaku Meme)
Dakimakura are the body pillow girlfriend experience lonely guys have been waiting for- these two-sided pillows feature screen printed images of fan favorite characters from anime and video games, so you can pretend your girlfriend is a celebrity!
There are even versions created with the lonely lady in mind:
But be forewarned- your new pillow love might actually want to drag you outside to meet her friends, but what if you're so firmly rooted to your couch that moving has become impossible?:
10. Couch Races-
(Image Via Couch Races)
Drag your couch dwelling carcass down to the Couch Races, held every year in Salem, Oregon. Likeminded couch dwellers slap some wheels and a steering mechanism on their sofa and sit their way to victory!
However, if you find that you've been dwelling on the couch too long and can't stand to be around non-couch people anymore you might want to prepare for the inevitable:
11. Bulletproof Couchbunker-
(Image Via Home Crux)
The Couchbunker is the ultimate combination of comfort and home protection, with a built-in gun safe and bulletproof cushions in case a shootout erupts in your living room.
It might be just what a seasoned couch potato needs to survive the dark days ahead, whether dealing with debt collectors or the zombie apocalypse.
(Image Via Doktor)
On second thought, the life of a couch potato doesn't sound relaxing enough, let's all go outside and play!