Warning Labels

Some things in life should go without saying, but there's always the occasional genius who needs to be told not to use a vacuum cleaner to pick up something that's on fire.

On a bottle of dog shampoo: "Contents should not be fed to fish."

On a baking pan: "Ovenware will get hot when used in oven."

On a blanket: "Not to be used as protection from a tornado."

On a fishing lure with a three-printed hook: "Harmful if swallowed."

On a 12-inch CD rack: "Do not use as a ladder."

On a carpenter's drill: "Not intended for use as a dental drill."

On a knife set: "Never try to catch a falling knife."

On a package of earplugs: "These earplugs are non-toxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe."

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

On a cocktail napkin with a mini-map of Hilton Head, South Carolina: "Not to be used for navigation."

On an insect spray: "This product not tested on animals."

On a box of birthday candles: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity."

On a child's scooter: "This product moves when used."

Inside a six-inch plastic bag: "Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death."

On a paint remover that heats up to 1,000°: "Do not use heat gun as a hair dryer."

On a shower cap: "Fits one head."

On a can of pepper spray: "May irritate eyes."

On a toilet: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking."

Title image by Warning Label Generator.


The article above is reprinted with permission from Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader, a fantastic book by the Bathroom Readers' Institute. The 19th book in this fan-favorite series contain such gems like The Greatest Plane that Never Was, Forgotten Robot Milestones, Ancient Beauty Secrets, and more.

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. If you like Neatorama, you'll love the Bathroom Reader Institute's books - go ahead and check 'em out!


Comments (9)

Newest 5
Newest 5 Comments

I once saw a pair of felt antlers (a christmas festive hatband thing) at a convenience store. The paper tag at the top had a smiling child wearing them.... and the note: Child not included.

The antlers were in a plastic bag about six inches square, btw.
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iv`e never seen anything like it but i think you fill ii with hot water and use it to warm up an arthritic finger joint.
but it was made in springfeild so who knows .
ask homer.
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Well, the little spiral thing is either, (a) to cool something in the contents or (b) to hold something. The flat bottom seems more indicative of something designed to be heated, rather than for stability. My guess is maybe there are two chambers inside this thing and it is a portable still of some kind, maybe to purify water?
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Older version of our modern day equivalent of a candle lighter. Protruding area can be lit to provide reach into gaslight lamps and provide ease through not having to strike many matches to light several lamps around the house.
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It may be a pot to haet liquids with a handle to take it(vertical), and other to keep it over the fire.

Or a distilling device, or part of it, working like an italian coffeepot.
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It's deceptive because it's upside-down. It's a funnel.
It looks just like one used for canning, except it has that spiral loop - possibly used for distilling or simply to attach it to a stick for a pivot.
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It's an alcohol or fuel lamp. The bottom coil has a hole for vapor to escape and when lit heats up the top coil to change the liquid fuel to a gas.
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It's an old gas/alcohol/kerosene lamp. You pump the pressure up with the thing on the left, and there are small holes on the right for lighting the gas/liquid coming out.
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It's to heat things up. You put the hot water in the hole, close the cap tightly, so the heat doesn't escape, and let the heat make its way though the coils to warm up something that is stuck in there, clothes-pin style.

Or it could be a dunce cap. Place it on the head, of the punished child (there's no bottom - it's hollow) an hang a paper from the coil, stating what the child did wrong.
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I think Onyxium has it right. The coil resembles an immersion heater, and probably extends into the chamber. The lid certainly looks like old ink pot lids, with a flat stable bottom to avoid tipping.
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Not a lamp, but a small alcohol fondue or chafing dish burner. You place alcohol inside the can, there is a wick to the coil which by the flame's heat generates pressure in the can and keeps the alcohol flowing through the small holes in the ring which perpetuates the cycle. It functions much the same as a vintage alcohol blow torch. Also similar are the new-fangled aluminum can stoves seen on many backpacking sites.
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hmm, you know in the trenches in ww1, the soldiers made things out of whatever they could find. it sort or looks like a cancle holder/snuffer made out of whatever some soldier could find.
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