SOLIPSIST

Turkey peeler corer slicer.

It is a cork reamer for making holes in corks.

Noble Gases T-Shirt, Medium, Dark Grey.

A prison reamer?.. omg, did I just say that?... (my name is Bond, Ionic Bond) T-Shirt - LG

Cork borer SHARPENER. Cause Reddit.

Xenomorph Flayer
In My Prime, 2x, Royal Blue

Covert Banister Shank...for those oh so untimely domestic violence encounters! (Rock, Man) Tshirt Large

Hemorrhoid remover

Cork borer Sharpener. (my name is Bond, Ionic Bond) T-Shirt - LG

Maître Fromager's cheese tool. He use's the awl to pierce holes in swiss cheese (plus stray cans of aerosol cheeze, ptooey) and wields the knife when cutting the cheese (giggle snort!).
Han Am, 2x, Grey

In the early part of the 19th century, as practitioners of medicine groped their way through a fog of ignorance and toward the light of a leech-less healthcare system, this surgical tool - named after its inventor, Dr. Cholmondoley Barking - found frequent use in the drawing rooms of England's wealthiest and most privileged members where it was employed by society's most respected physicians to extract a whacking great fee from patients reluctant to turn their heads and cough up the cash.

The world's most inefficient rolling pin. (Greetings from Twin Peaks M)

A foldable pocket "girolle", i.e. specil cheese knife for the famous swiss "tete de moine" cheese..

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/My-Angry-Neighbor
3xl dark grey

Special tool for cutting the famous "crop cycles"...

http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Never-Grow-Up

ladies fit 2xl, suggested colour

A cuticle remover for a hobbit...melting,SM

Dyslexic Bob's (inventor of the bob plumb) first attempt at the folding knife. Later, his brother Jack perfected the design, which we all now know as the knifejack.

Kniiiifffeee Plummmbb. For Kids!
Olde Fortran Small.

Circumsizer2000 (TM)

(Rock Paper Scissors T-shirt Medium)

The World Famous Perfect Apple Corer. Now with NEW and IMPROVED Perfect Wedge Slicer.

Shiny Size L

Radial doughnut cutter.

Optical illusion jail, med.

It's used in plumbing. When you cut a copper pipe, it's slightly pinched at the end. The knife is to clean up rough edges and the cone is to gauge the correct size. I'm not sure the specific name of the tool though. Size L "I'm your density." http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Im-Your-Density

Tis a lawless switchblade peg-leg belongin' ter Captain Kidd's Kid. He were so short, nobody ere noticed him much, but iff'n ever a pirate be less than kind to the little bilge rat, the Kid took 'is satisfaction direct out of 'is ankle, he did!

[Science vs. Magic – XL, Grey]

This is clearly the tool they used in medieval times for bikini waxing :b

I Cast Magic Missile L

Its clearly a Bundt cake slicer.

Reminds me of the tools from my organ tuning days. Although, I would think this would be used for organ building. The cone would be used to open up the end of a pipe to the desired width, and the knife used to cut any extra off the end. Knives would work on pipes that were made out of lead. That's my guess.

Foucault's Pendulum. It goes in Foucault's Pit.

Forgot to put,

Feed Me, Large :)

motorman's knife -a leather punch or awl, and a blade

late trepanning tool for the least of the barbershop surgeons.

For the OCD murderer who needs to be exactly in the middle of the heart (or face, or head, or whatever), it's a combination plumb bob and dagger.

Everyone has to Start Somewhere - 2X, black

A "Mermaid Legger" , used to split the single tail fin into two parts, resembling and later used as legs. Mind, mermaids are apparently a lot smaller than we thought they are.

Game of Time, XLarge, http://www.neatoshop.com/product/The-Game-of-Time

In an other time, and an other dimension, where the Swiss ruled the world, Rob Ford was king, and Fun was a four letter word, this was one of the weekly mind-bending objects used to entice shoppers to stare at store front windows, wondering for no less than 33 minutes, what the heck it is, trying to think of a witty response, in order to lay claim to the prize of wit and humour.

Breaking Xmas Sweater-Style - Large

The first ever, do-it-yourself, all-in-one, home sex-change kit!

L doctor vs the universe

For when you need to bring you knife along somewhere with you, but aren't supposed to so you decide to disguise it as a really tall and skinny citrus juicer. It's for cooks who don't like their sou chefs so the can stab them without being noticed.

A prosperous Long Life, medium.