This is the opening paragraph, where I tell you about a scientific study in as few words as possible to get you interested. I also need to gather up and condense any information that isn't contained in an easily-copied quote.

This paragraph elaborates on the claim, adding weasel-words like "the scientists say" to shift responsibility for establishing the likely truth or accuracy of the research findings on to absolutely anybody else but me, the journalist.

If the quoted paragraphs are from different parts of the article, I will put a sentence here to separate them.

In this paragraph I will reference or quote some minor celebrity, historical figure, eccentric, or a group of sufferers; because my editors are ideologically committed to the idea that all news stories need a "human interest", and I'm not convinced that the scientists are interesting enough.

Down here I might try to answer the obvious question from someone who isn't going to go read the linked article, then I suggest you go to the link and read the rest. Clicking this link will take you to the original article -via reddit