Male vs. Female Friends

Just because guys don't sit around and share their deepest feelings, it doesn't mean that male friendships are inferior to female friendships:

"If we use a women's paradigm for friendship, we're making a mistake," says Geoffrey Greif, a professor at the University of Maryland's School of Social Work, who has studied how 386 men made, kept and nurtured friendships. Men might not be physically or emotionally expressive, he says, but we derive great support from our friendships.

Researchers say women's friendships are face to face: They talk, cry together, share secrets. Men's friendships are side by side: We play golf. We go to football games. [...]

A woman from Wisconsin wrote to me recently to say that she effortlessly shares intimate feelings with her friends. That's in great contrast to her husband. He recently went on a fishing trip to Canada with four longtime friends. And so she wondered: What did they talk about for a whole week? She knew one of the men had problems at work. Another's daughter was getting married. The third man has health problems. Her husband said none of those issues came up. She couldn't believe it.

She told him: "Two female strangers in a public restroom would share more personal information in five minutes than you guys talked about in a week!"

Sounds about right! Link


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I appreciate the women who do not seek out 'female bonding' & hats of the courageous Grace for being close to her husband. I just found out that my wife 'bonded' (got intimate)a little to much with her girlfriend that she can talk to for hours and completely ignore me in the process. Ironicaly when we were dating she said she liked my stoicism. I do not make friends easily or lightly but I expect spouses to be best friends. Now we are faced with possible divorce due to her wanderings, we have four children together whos lives I do not want to ruin. So to all you females seeking deeper relationships with other females....keep your hands to yourself and go talk to your hubby... he might not respond like your girlfriend but he is the only one you should deeply bond with.
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"Two female strangers in a public restroom would share more personal information in five minutes than you guys talked about in a week!"

...and that's why many men don't trust women. Not only do some women habitually do this, they do it with their partner's confidences. Eventually, the partner stops confiding in those women. Shocking, eh?

Men are often very private. Intimacy opens that up; it's quite a shock when that turns into public information, though. Tends to modify behavior a bit.
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I agree with the two styles. But instead of thinking of them as Male and Female relationships, I think of them as masculine and feminine. As a male, I have both, but I lean strongly towards male relationships. I know males who lean towards female relationships as well. The relationships themselves have either feminine or masculine qualities. It does not mean that Men have strictly male relationships and females have strictly female relationships.
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My wife and I generally fit these patterns, but we each enjoy the other types of friendships too. I have one guy friend with whom I enjoy talking about family, jobs, etc. His wife is my wife's best friend and they love talking about the so-called "girl talk." However, my wife hates going to sporting events with this friend because my wife just wants to enjoy the game (like a guy, I guess) and her friend wants to talk family and feelings through the whole game. .
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I was riding a shuttle back to my apartment and this lady med student began inquiring to her seatmate about her boyfriend and also spoke about her own relationship with her hubby. I heard their conversation clearly and they did not seem to be old acquaintances or close friends. Sort of weird/cringe-inducing hearing the details (which were benign).
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