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The Office Kid -- Your Source for Excuses from Work

By John Farrier in Gadget on Aug 24, 2009 at 10:37 am


Need a good excuse for why you’re late to/absent from work? The Office Kid kit lets you pretend to have a child, which you can then use as an excuse for your questionable work ethic. Each kit comes with a framed picture of a child (ethnicity of your choice), a work of children’s art, and a list of suggested excuses. For additional fees, you can have the child photoshopped into a sports team picture or a doctor’s note on official-looking stationery.

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COMMENT
  1. Gauldar
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    This could make some interesting office gosip should two people work in the same building and have the same kid, yet admit nothing of knowing the other person.

  2. Matt
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Damn! How crappy must your work ethic be to go out of your way to make it look like you have kids?

  3. Jasper
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Lighten up. Not a crappy work ethic. A sense of humor.

    I can't tell you how tired I got of watching staff all around me just disappear for "kids stuff!" People you need work from, people who are alleged to be part of the team... but it's 1:00pm on Friday - "oo sorry... Josh has a dentist appointment. See ya Monday!" It was epidemic at my last company.

    Then there are smokers who take ten minute breaks twice an hour...

  4. feeling_madness
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    Now if these became a phenomenon in offices everywhere, and bosses started to figure out that they were fakes, wouldn't it be funny if the actual parents of the kids who posed for these pictures got in trouble for having the "fake kid"? You know, you can tell it's the same kid that everyone else has on their desks. :) That is, unless the child was actually computer generated.

  5. Neal
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    I'm ordering one.

  6. Roody!
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    I laughed at the idea of having an office kid. I'll have to remember that site if I ever get a new job. Luckily I work with a bunch of hermits and people too young/hip, and the majority of us do not have children.

  7. Briannana
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    Well, the jig is up now, isn't it? Seriously though folks, this is probably supposed to be a light-hearted joke. I mean, come on, it comes in a lunch pail that says "office kid". Probably designed for you to bring it to work.

  8. Del Taco
    Aug 24th, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    When you buy a picture frame at the supermarket a lot of times they come with a nice picture of a wife and kid. Just leave them in there and voila! Instant family.

    This actually might help. Supposedly people think of parents and married people as more responsible than single folk.

  9. Miss Cellania
    Aug 25th, 2009 at 12:38 am

    I lost my last regular job because I have kids. They couldn't understand why a single mom would have a problem transferring to a 5AM shift. But I was the ONLY single parent on staff, so I bet they were glad to get rid of me.

    Now I regret all those times I worked instead of taking time off for "kid stuff".

  10. Larfin Jackarse
    Aug 25th, 2009 at 4:33 am

    @Miss Cellania

    Have you heard the story about the man on his deathbed who wished he'd spent more time at work? No neither have I.

    ps: single Mum 'ey? I always wondered why your name wasn't Mrs Cellania ;)

  11. ted
    Aug 25th, 2009 at 5:53 am

    She lost her job previous to that, when her name was Miss Appropriationoffunds.

  12. Inti
    Aug 25th, 2009 at 7:49 am

    I like how this follows the post about photo fakery ;)

  13. free games for kids
    Aug 25th, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    oh how i could use one

  14. JamesEdwinLewis
    Sep 1st, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    This is great! I don't have children, but my cat was recently very ill, and getting off work to get him to a vet was a pain in the a**, complete with lecture from my supervisor about how it was not a true emergency. My cat is my child, and I'm a single parent to him--there was no one I could call to help out. Had he been an actual human child, they would have sped me on my way with get-well-soon balloons.
    The unfairness of living in a society that privileges child-rearing! Ugh!

  15. Cat
    Sep 5th, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    Miss Cellania, why take a job you know you can't do then? It's not their fault they needed you for certain hours. You can't just expect them to be cool with it if you don't work because you took a job that your life is incompatible with.

    And it's people who do that that make this kit so funny.

  16. tiredmom
    Sep 5th, 2009 at 11:13 pm

    Cat... reread her post, and more carefully this time. She had a job she could do, and did not take off time as others do. Her reward was being told she would have to switch shifts or lose her job. I wonder if others were asked to do the same, or they saw it as an easier way to eliminate her job? I've seen that before...

  17. Cat
    Sep 6th, 2009 at 2:00 am

    Whatev's. Do the job or find a different one.

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