Shaun Suhoski of Gardner, Massachusetts, is a single dad - and like a growing number of the 92 million single people in the United States - he likes it that way:
With the number of singles approaching nearly half the adult U.S. population, the single lifestyle is accepted more today than ever before, said Beatrice N. Niemi, executive director of the Center for Well Being in Fitchburg.
Ms. Niemi, who is also a relationship counselor, said the culture itself has changed. “It is more accepted in our culture now than it once was. Once upon a time, people found it harder to be happy if they were unmarried.”
With more ways to access people through the Internet, it is easier for single people to meet other people and stay connected, she said. Many people form relationships and bonds through e-mail.
“I think it is fundamentally a need we all have to connect with another human in some way, not just physically,” Ms. Niemi said. [...]
“Someday I would like to have a relationship again,” Mr. Suhoski said. “There are times when I could really use the support, and perhaps even the organizational skills, required for a better home life.”
On the other hand, the single lifestyle allows him to work late during the week and have personal freedom. “It’s a mixture. People always think the grass is greener when it comes to relationships,” he noted.
http://www.telegram.com/article/20081016/NEWS/810160738/1008/NEWS02
Firstly, it's much, much better to be by yourself than to be in an unhappy relationship. At the very least, you isolate the disfuntion to a single person. You just have to be at peace in being alone, and not lonely. Lonely people have the stink of desperation.
But the obvious choice is finding happiness in day-to-day living with another person. The single largest qualification, to me, is that you're not with someone JUST BECAUSE you don't want to be alone. There has to be a "special" something, which is hard for me to explain. I would say it's a type of fascination or inspiration that you see in a person. And respect.
I have found that I have to be pretty focused if I am to be a successful father and have a successful career that provides the means to be a successful father. Now that my kids are older, it's even harder to find time for dating and relationships.
Being single is not the ideal situation and I totally identify with what Shaun said about someday wanting to have the benefits of a relationship. But it's not all about me. It's not like buying a car or building my dream house. There are a myriad of factors involved and any one of them could be a deal breaker. I don't want to put my kids at risk while I date, because if it's not right it's hard on everyone.
The dating scene is certainly a minefield, but don't let the challenge discourage you. The more people you meet, the more you will learn to look for the good things and the bad things.
And accept the fact that it's impossible to find someone who is "perfect". In any relationship, you HAVE to put up with a certain amount of bullsh*t. You just have to know where to draw the line, and make that line impassable.
You can certainly date someone and keep them at arm's length until you're comfortable enough to incorporate them into your family life. Any woman worth your time will have the patience and understanding to go through this process.
In Ringggold Georgia if your wife fools around and gets pregnant by another man, her husband has to pay child support. It is called "Product of the marriage". They also will give a woman BOTH houses and force the dad and son to sleep in a truck because he had an affair.
Now, tell me why this guy should get married? He is the smart one.
It is cheaper to keep them, last one to die wins!
It doesn't mean you have to give up on relationships, though. That's just opting out. Just like the couple who live in the trailer/shed - you don't have to go to the extreme opposite.
That's just cutting off your nose to spite your face.