The Woman Who Married the Eiffel Tower

Remember the Neatorama post about a woman who married the Berlin Wall? Well, it turns out that she's not the only one. Here's a story about a woman who married the Eiffel Tower:

Erika La Tour Eiffel, 37, a former soldier who lives in San Francisco, has been in love with objects before. Her first infatuation was with Lance, a bow that helped her to become a world-class archer, she is fond of the Berlin Wall and she claims to have a physical relationship with a piece of fence she keeps in her bedroom.

But it is the Eiffel Tower she has pledged to love, honour and obey in an intimate ceremony attended by a handful of friends.

She has changed her name legally to reflect the bond.

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There's a tower in Kansas City that's way more phallic than either of em. Google the Liberty Memorial Tower and tell me it ain't packing.
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If a man is allowed to marry another man, every US citizen will immediately be legally required to marry a dog. The people who refuse will be sent to internment camps and will be summarily terminated by our lizard overlords who rule from the inside of the earth. I don't see what's so hard to understand about that.
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