Cutting Down A Tree With A Minigun

Somedays, this is what i would be the backscratcher i'd love to have..

Never grow up, ladie's fit 2xl, suggested colour

Absinthe strainer, of course. Sugar cube on the spikes, slow drip of ice water over the spoon and into the glass of pure wormwood extract - psychadelic heaven. Doesn't everybody have one of these?

I <3 Science, small.

A diet spoon.

This is a self-scritcher for cats. With the points facing down, the cat takes the handle into his/her mouth and uses the self-scritcher to get at those hard to reach itchy spots. A favorite location for all cats is just at the base of the tail. However, self-scritching in this body area often leads to the cat adopting a pose most cats consider to be highly undignified: chest to the ground, hind legs on tippy-toes with butt and tail waving high in the air. Most cats try to avoid using the self-scritcher in public, and thus far, have avoided being recorded with one and the subsequent video placed on YouTube.com.

T-shirt: "Mad Fiction" OR "Wolf"
Color: Black for either
Size: 2xl for either

It's a reverse-shoehorn - a tool for yanking your heel out of that shoe you put on with a shoehorn.

I'm Your Density L

Kidney Stone Retriever
Delorean Portal, 2x, Black

It's Robin Williams' back scratcher!

There's no place like 127.0.0.1 - L - Black

Marqui de Sade armpit groomer!

Powered by Caffeine XL

Dr. Hellraiser's Tongue Depresser. Say AAaaaaaaahhhhhOUCH!!

I see this in my nightmares all the time.

Kodama Sake XL

Chewbacca's Dingleberry Expunger
Delorean Portal, 2x, Black

It's a carpet/fabric stretcher.
Friend/Enemy, M, Kelly Green

It is a tool to clean the hooves of horses. Scratch out the mud and other things a horse may step in.

- Shawn

It's a coconut scraper, to get every. last. bit. It's Gilligan's "lost patent" that could have made him millions, maybe even enough to get off that darned island!

Bananana XL
(thanks!)

Hot dang, if it ain't one o'dem new-fangled butt-scratchers! SOOOO-EEEEEY Daggum gotta get me one of them!

(151% Old School - Men's 6xl)

Victor Frankenstein couldn't bring himself to destroy his creature, but he couldn't allow the creature to live without punishment for his murders. Thus, Victor invented this and told his creature it was better than toilet paper.

Grumpy xl

It's an antique outhouse toilet paper holder. Since they didn't have 'toilet paper' on a roll in the olden days they hung Sears and Roebuck's catalog sheets on the prongs, nice and handy and oh, so close by. It also did double duty for reaching that hard to get bit in the back when your arm just isn't strong enough to... The more modern version held catalog sheets AND corncobs, BTW. But not this one.

Here's looking at Euclid men's Large

A tool to get pickles out of the jar.

DEX - L

It's obviously a torture spoon for the one-fisted masochist in your life who has everything. Could use some sharpening, though.

+++
No Guts No Glory, Ladies Fit M, please

It's one of those things for carrying multiple shopping bags... just very small bags. Of very dense stuff. Like if you live on a neutron star.

For that time when you accidentally swallow your sweater. Don't ask... just know it worked.

Don't need a t-shirt. Got any tacos?

Used to pick up/move blocks of ice.

Refuse Tyranny Obey Cthulu
ladies M

The lower jaw of a steampunk diplodocus. Perfect for gripping those darn slippery bracheal fronds. 10th in UK size 2x please. (I think it's a bale grabber myself)

Oh come on! This one's too easy - everyone knows it's a spoon for Klingon gagh. You need the spines to keep it from wriggling off.

Most people think this is some type of handheld tool, but they have the scale all wrong. It's actually about three feet long and is an antique luge, used during the first winter olympics held during the Spanish Inquisition.

Made in America with Irish Parts 2X

An early butt scratcher for those who have arms just a bit too short to reach their rear!

Clown Box 2XL