Caption Monkey 12: Pua, the “Talk to the Hand” Anteater

By Alex in Animals & Pets, Caption Monkey, Pictures on Nov 6, 2007 at 4:40 am

Image: TamanduaGirl [Flickr] – via Miss Cellania

Yay! Neatorama and Hobotopia’s Caption Monkey is back! And let’s get straight to it, okay?

Funniest caption for this crazy awesome photo of Pua the tamandua (a genus of anteater) wins a Free Monkey (or other critter) Drawing by Ape Lad of Hobotopia! Contest rule is darn simple: write your caption in the comment, one caption per comment please but you can submit as many as you’d like. You can also vote for your favorite comment, but not your own.

While you’re at it, you can read all about tamanduas here: Link | Tamandua [wiki]

Update 11/15/07: Congratulations to AnnaBee #24 for the winning caption:

“And then I told Lashonda, ‘girl, listen– I know you dig the airbrushing and bedazzle diamonds, but this Anteater’s got her own beat to jive to– you dig?’ I mean, there’s nothing wrong with going au natural when you’ve got nails as fine as this. Girlfriend, she was gettin’ all up in my grill– and I practically put her litter through Ant College with all the acrylic wraps and gel fills she’s done on these claws.”

Neat stuff from the NeatoShop:

Dan Smith
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:24 am
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Paul
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:20 am
Stop! In the name of love.
Margaret
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:46 am
“Please, no autographs.”
Margaret
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:48 am
“You put your right hand in, you take your left foot out…”
Sam Kimpton
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:54 am
“Places, places! Ok, everybody, let’s make this our best showing of Death of a Salescreature yet!”
Mark
Nov 6th, 2007 at 7:17 am
The sign on the door said “Push!”
algonkin
Nov 6th, 2007 at 7:35 am
in the immortal words of Get Smart’s Leonard Strong…

“It’s Claw NOT Craw”
algonkin
Nov 6th, 2007 at 7:37 am
It’s Claw NOT Craw

(an old Get Smart line)
felix
Nov 6th, 2007 at 7:56 am
STOP! Anteater time!
felix
Nov 6th, 2007 at 7:58 am
Rasengan!
Martyn
Nov 6th, 2007 at 8:07 am
Maître D: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

Pua the tamandua: Nah.

Maître D: Oh, sir, it’s only a tiny, little, thin one.

Pua the tamandua: Look. I couldn’t eat another thing. I’m absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
L.C.
Nov 6th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Stop! something bads about to happen… *farts* ok…
Tim Giachetti
Nov 6th, 2007 at 8:55 am
“not on the list, not coming in, no matter who you blew for that pass!”
Tim Giachetti
Nov 6th, 2007 at 8:57 am
“Damned Paparazzi!, I know how Britney feels now, poor girl!”
Rexmons
Nov 6th, 2007 at 9:12 am
The effects of the Heisman judges new “Steroid Disqualification Policy” really showed for the 2008 award cerimonies.
Jason Phelan
Nov 6th, 2007 at 10:27 am
Alvin the Ant-Abstainent Anteateater says:
“Take a stance – Don’t eat Ants!”
J Keizer
Nov 6th, 2007 at 10:29 am
I can’t believe I payed so much for this manicure, my nails look like s%#t.
Oomi
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:04 am
Yoga master, Anteater Hung Lo demonstrates his craft at the local airport Holiday Inn.
Elliot
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:09 am
“Naw, I’m fine”
tschup0
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:11 am
Wax on, wax off.
nerfherder
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:35 am
Cheryl, wait! Is it my breath?
nerfherder
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:36 am
No. NO CRICKETS. Damn, people.
nerfherder
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:38 am
Tell Gene Simmons I’m in a meeting, and I’m not interested in the contest.
AnnaBee
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:41 am
“And then I told Lashonda, ‘girl, listen– I know you dig the airbrushing and bedazzle diamonds, but this Anteater’s got her own beat to jive to– you dig?’ I mean, there’s nothing wrong with going au natural when you’ve got nails as fine as this. Girlfriend, she was gettin’ all up in my grill– and I practically put her litter through Ant College with all the acrylic wraps and gel fills she’s done on these claws.”
Josh S.
Nov 6th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
…At which point the President’s most trusted foreign policy advisor refused to take any more questions.
Ian Schwartz
Nov 6th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
“If I hadn’t given her the old Heissman, you wouldn’t be doing the old…………….touchdown dance.”
nerfherder
Nov 6th, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Fear not; I have no thumbs.
axtapi
Nov 6th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Step back folks! I’m going in!
Matty
Nov 6th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
“It’s okay, I’m a limo driver”
Dan
Nov 6th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
“Stop, HAMMERTIME.”
Sniperman
Nov 6th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
“hurry, take the picture. I cant hold this pose much longer!”
Sniperman
Nov 6th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
” really? i get to be the model for the new heisman trophy??”

pic for reference
http://www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com/image_lib/heisman_trophy_220.jp g
monkey
Nov 6th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
wait! my manicure isn’t dry!
escorepn
Nov 6th, 2007 at 3:25 pm
You don’t want to see who’s behind the curtain Mrs. Bush.
T_LaRue
Nov 6th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Marcel Marceau’s been reincarnated already??
andrew jasperson
Nov 6th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
“whoa! i’m walkin’ here!”
Katie
Nov 6th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Please, everyone push back. Let Ms. Spears through. People, step back, you’ll all get your pictures.
spookydaddy
Nov 6th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
even before her nosejob and full body wax, paris hilton still had an attitude.
Jeff
Nov 6th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Ok, quit laughing-my thumbs ARE behind this curtain!
Kevin
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
“STOP! In the name of love… before you break my heart. Think it oh-woah-ver….”
RasmusJ
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
Guys, wait here. I’ll sneak in and disable the Hive CCTV. Then we’ll clear out those mindless drones, lickety-split.
RasmusJ
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:15 pm
Not one for pompous appearances, Pua requested a slight volume adjustment before announcing his run for the presidency.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Ants , Schmantz… gimme some beef !
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Endangered ? Not my fault..Bring me a girlfriend and I’ll show you endangered..
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Stop ! If you guys at National Geographic step one foot closer with that ear tag gun I’ll put this nose where the sun doesn’t shine…. we’ll see who gets tagged first.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
I’m outta here… I don’t have time for you people and your talk shows… I have to go save my species.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
NO WAY I’m drinking that ! Don’t step one foot closer ! I told you I wanted a double mocha cappuccino , NOT a mocha latte….. get it right next time ! What am I paying you people for ? Stupid humans.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
We don’t need no stinking ants – stop the stereotyping and the racial profiling of my kind just because we’re called anteaters. I actually enjoy a good curry and a double macchiato for lunch sometimes too !
Vyral
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Westside.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
People People…I am with the Anteater CSI division – please no more questions…. go home back to your families and your mundane lives and forget everything you’ve seen here tonight.
Rick Jones
Nov 6th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Give me 15 minutes and I’ll save you money on your car insurance… (The magic of modern CGI)
gian
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
SH*T! where did the wall G0000OOOOoooo….??!?!
Stinky peet
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
“OK, Dan, I am going to need you to calm down. The strike will be over soon and you can go back to your writing job at Saturday Night Live.”
Jerse
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:34 pm
High Five!
Jerse
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Don’t mess with me. I know Tai Chi…
Jerse
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
I like #25
felix
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Little did Pua know, all the other mutants were laughing behind his back…
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
I call this one “Blue Steel.”
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
“You may hate me but it aint no lie, baby bye bye bye!”
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Safe sex tamandua says, “No glove, no love.”
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Back that thang up.
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
Safe-secks anteater sez “No gluv, no luv.”
galwegian
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
“ok people nothing to see here”
galwegian
Nov 6th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
whatevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
galwegian
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
OMG!……..shoes
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Noooooooooooo way .you guys think you’re winning a monkey off my back !
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Geez Louise…no one ever gives away a stuffed tamandua. It’s always the monkeys – they get alllllllllll the attention and I’m left in the dark sucking up ants butts. Where’s the justic in this world ??
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
Hey Neotorama ! Yea , I’m talking to you ! A stuffed monkey ?OHHHHHHHHH I didn’t read the fine print I thought I was going to have a real monkey. Damn, I was hoping for monkey stew tonight – eating ants gets quite tedious, ya know ? Try sucking up ants for a living, it’s just a not a way to go through life.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
After performing Shakepeare for nearly an hour, Mr. Tamandua refused his manager’s request to go back on stage for an encore exclaiming, “Until you stop paying me in dollars and start paying me in Euros I’ll be in burrow until further notice – I will not be a victim of the exchange rate any longer !!!”
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Wait !!! You ..over there – come back hear a second…. exactly how much does this blogging job pay ? I work cheap, live in a burrow, and no..I do NOT work for peanuts.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Latest report from the Globe Theater in London:

Mr. Tamandua refuses all Paparazzi attempts for questioning until learning that the Discovery channel was lurking in the back alley. After a moments thought he waves his manager over and yells ” Hey Murray get the limo around back and tell the Discovery Channel I’ll meet them down the street, tell them to have the cash ready and I’ll give them some good money shots”….. Those Americans…. anything for cash…. just because I’m South American doesn’t mean I don’t have standards.
dan deluca
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
You said what ??? !!!!!! The San Diego Zoo has 5 females than need to be bred ? STOP THE SHOW…book my tickets, it’s time to get my groove on.
Jerse
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
dan deluga,

it says post FUNNY stuff
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
NONE SHALL PASS.
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
You shall not pass!
Emma
Nov 6th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
And then he was all, “Heeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!”
Garry L.
Nov 6th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
“… the force, Luke, use the force…”
unohav_1
Nov 7th, 2007 at 1:13 am
WHOA! I may be into peanut butter and crawling insects, but you throw that Asian girl and the dude in chaps into the mix and I’m outta here!
ruby
Nov 7th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Hee hee…I like 24!
RasmusJ
Nov 7th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
You might call me ugly…but I have a 7 inch snout and a 12 inch tongue.

And you have THIS..!
Adam Farrington
Nov 7th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Those dumb hippies at school think I’m Kokopelli’s buddy, or the cousin of that stupid Grateful Dead bear, but I’m just an ordinary anteater.
Adam Farrington
Nov 7th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
Bein’ rowdy in da libary!!! Yeah, tell the libarian tah shove it! I don’t even care!
Dan Smith
Nov 9th, 2007 at 3:07 am
“Wind tunnel!”

Get it? no? You guys never watch Inu Yasha? Oh, well, it’s a show…and there’s this character on the show who says that.
coatl
Nov 13th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
lol!! i vote for #60
Josh S
Nov 14th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Question: How come we don’t get to find out who the winning captions are for these contests? I would like to know who beat me so I can scoff at the judges! This question is not necessarily directed at this contest, but all of them.
dan smith
Nov 15th, 2007 at 6:48 am
The winning caption does get posted. Look at past contests.
Josh S
Nov 15th, 2007 at 11:00 am
I guess you are right, but the last couple have said, “I’ve notified the lucky winners by email” and nothing else. I hope that isn’t the new trend!

Thanks for the reply dan.
Alex
Nov 15th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Wow – great captions, guys (as always). It was difficult to pick the winner, but pick we must, so congrats to AnnaBee #24 for the winning caption!

And yes, it did take me longer to pick the winner of this caption (mea culpa). I got really busy with work/life….
Alex
Nov 15th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
@Josh S #87: You’re right – the past two caption contests (for The Book of Spam and the Disapproving Rabbit books) had too many winners to post.

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