Pirate Lore: 7 Myths and Trrrrruths About Pirates!

By Alex in Bathroom Reader on Oct 22, 2007 at 12:26 pm
The following is reprinted from Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader.


The Capture of the Pirate Blackbeard by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris, 1718

We’ve all got an idea of what it was like to be a pirate in the 1700s – but a lot of it is pure Hollywood hooey. Here’s a few of our most common misconceptions about pirates … and the truth about them.

NICKNAMES

Why did so many pirates have colorful nicknames like “Blackbeard” and “Half Bottom”? The main reason was to prevent government officials from identifying and persecuting their relatives back home. (How did “Half Bottom” get his nickname? A cannonball shot half his bottom off.)

WALKING THE PLANK

Few (if any) pirate ships ever used “the plank.” When pirates took over a ship, they usually let the captured crewmembers choose between joining the pirate crew or jumping overboard. Why go to all the trouble of setting up a plank to walk off? As historian Hugh Rankin put it: “The formality of a plank seems a bit absurd when it was so much easier just to toss a prisoner overboard.”

BURIED TREASURE

Another myth. No pirate would have trusted his captain to bury treasure for him. According to pirate expert Robert Ritchie, “The men who turned to piracy did so because they wanted money. As soon as possible after capturing a prize they insisted on dividing the loot, which they could then gamble with or carry home. The idea of burying loot on a tropical island would have struck them as insane.”

BOARDING A SHIP BY FORCE

It’s a scene from the movies: A pirate ship pulls up alongside another ship, and then the pirates swing across on ropes and storm the ship. But how realistic is this scene? Not very, experts say. Most ship captains owned their cargos, which were usually fully insured. They preferred to surrender the minute they were approached by a pirate ship, seeing piracy as one of the costs of doing business.

THE JOLLY ROGER (SKULL AND CROSSBONES)


Jolly Rogers [wiki]

Bartholomew “Black Bart” Roberts’ Flag

Edward “Blackbeard” Teach’s Flag

Christopher “Bloody Red” Moody’s Flag

Edward “Ned” Low’s Flag

John Quelch’s Flag “Old Roger”

Richard Worley’s Flag

Stede “The Gentleman Pirate” Bonnet’s Flag

Thomas “Rhode Island Pirate” Tew’s Flag

Pirates used a variety of flags to communicate. The Jolly Roger was used to coerce nearby ships into allowing the pirates to board. But it wasn’t the only flag of choice – some pirate ships preferred flags with hourglasses on them (to let would-be victims know that time was running out); others used black or red flags. How did the Jolly Roger get its name? Nobody knows for sure – although some historians believe it comes from the English pronunciation of Ali Raja, the Arabic words for “King of the Sea.” (Image source: Jolly Roger [wikipedia])

PIRATE SHIPS

In the movies they’re huge – but in real life they were much smaller. “Real Pirates,” one expert writes, “relied on small, swift vessels and hit-and-run attacks.”

ROWDINESS

Not all pirate ships were rough-and-tumble. Pirates often operated under a document that had some similarity to a constitution. Here are a few of the articles from an agreement drawn up by the crew of Captain John Phillips in 1723.

1. Every man shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full Share and a half in all prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one share and a quarter.

2. If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be maroon’d with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm, and Shot.

3. If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be maroon’d or shot.

4. That Man that shall strike another whilst those Articles are in force, shall receive Moses’s Law (that is 40 stripes lacking one) on the bare Back.

5. That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit.

6. If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement, shall have 400 Pieces of Eight; if a limb 800.

7. If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer Death.

The article above, titled “Pirate Lore,” is reprinted with permission from Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader.

This special edition book covers the three “lost” Bathroom Readers – Uncle John’s 5th, 6th and 7th book all in one. The huge (and hugely entertaining) volume covers neat stories like the Strange Fate of the Dodo Bird, the Secrets of Mona Lisa, and more …

Since 1988, the Bathroom Reader Institute had published a series of popular books containing irresistible bits of trivia and obscure yet fascinating facts. Check out their website here: Bathroom Reader Institute


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  1. Chris
    Oct 22nd, 2007 at 1:42 pm

    Half Bottom? LMAO!

    Not worth a good ninja.

  2. Andewdoane
    Oct 22nd, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    I’m not satisfied with those answers. Just because walking the plank or boarding a ship by force didn’t happen all of the time doesn’t mean it didn’t happen some of the time. Even if something only happened a few, memorable times, it’s not a myth.

    That’s like saying “most websites don’t post articles about pirates. Thus, if someone told you that you saw an article about pirates on Neatorama, they were lying.”

  3. phyreblade
    Oct 22nd, 2007 at 2:52 pm

    And this is why Ninjas pwn pirates. They don’t need any of these silly rules and regulations. They would rather die than run away or fail a mission, they don’t need to be coerced or threatened into doing their job, and they can do whatever they need to get the job done. Pure Pwnage.

  4. L.B. Jeffries
    Oct 22nd, 2007 at 5:49 pm

    They left out the part of when a pirate ship raided someone there was a decent chance they would rape anyone on-board. That includes men. In fact, it mainly focused on the men.

    Now that I think about it, they didn’t mention the Spartan habit of gang raping captured armies in ’300′ either.

    Good times!

  5. Malik Al-Bahr :P
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:20 am

    –8<–
    Ali Raja, the Arabic words for “King of the Sea.”
    –8<–

    *Bzzt*!

    As an Arab I can tell you that “Raja” is not an arabic word (if I’m not mistaken it’s Hindi), and “Ali” is just a name (literally means high).

    If you want the Arabic words for “King of the Sea.” it is “Malik Al-Bahr” (Malik:King, Al:The, Bahr: Sea).

  6. Paula
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    YEAH!! i really liked this one!! uhu!

  7. Monster
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 3:58 pm

    Thank you for bringing to my attention the painting above, “The Capture of the Pirate Blackbeard”. It’s incredible and I can’t wait to own a print of it!

  8. Jiminy Rickets
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 8:24 pm

    Pirates are awesome. At PiratesWanted.com, they buried a real treasure chest worth $250,000 and they’re giving it away.

    A pretty cool idea!

  9. BLONDEBEARD
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 9:31 pm

    “bathroom reader” LOL

  10. Mark
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 10:46 pm

    “Now that I think about it, they didn’t mention the Spartan habit of gang raping captured armies in ‘300? either.”

    Too bad they didn’t mention the fact that most Spartans were Bi, and would have sex with their fellow soldiers in order to create a stronger bond between each other.

  11. Sebek
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 11:24 pm

    the term jolly roger likely stems from the fact that pirates enjoyed taking part in rape, and a “roger” in old english was sometimes meant as “fucker” so “jolly roger” was a “happy fucker”

    hence the name Roger the Shrubber, in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

  12. Chris
    Oct 23rd, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    @Mark:

    300 was based on a graphic novel by Frank Miller wich is totaly fiction..

  13. Jason
    Oct 24th, 2007 at 1:19 am

    This is a lame article.

  14. Santos
    Oct 25th, 2007 at 11:50 am

    Raja is an indian word for king, not arabic.

  15. daathian
    Oct 30th, 2007 at 2:17 pm

    Interesting article but it mainly focuses on the British pirates. I’m guessing there were a lot of Spanish, French, Portuguese and other pirates that did things a lot differently, and thats only in Europe. There are probably a lot more pirates around the world that used different methods and seeing as they didn’t leave many records its hard to tell whether the myths are true or not.

  16. Best homes
    Nov 7th, 2007 at 2:52 am

    I think that image of pirate we have now is far from real one. Writers just made it romantic and this image is unlikely to change in our minds.

  17. Cate
    Nov 18th, 2007 at 6:35 am

    Actually, 300 was a fictionalization of a real story. Frank Miller took an actual historical event and added some stuff to it, and then they made a movie from that.
    So, yes, yes it did happen. The movie, and graphic novels, weren’t entirely accurate, but there really was a battle between the Persian army and 300 Spartans led by King Leonidus.

  18. Jolly Bloger
    Nov 24th, 2007 at 1:44 am

    Ah, I always love to see pirate blogging. Check out the Jolly Bloger every Wednesday for pirate news and classic (true!) pirate histories.
    http://www.jollybloger.blogspot.com

  19. Lindsay
    Nov 24th, 2007 at 7:56 am

    “If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer Death.”

    Wait… I thought… “meddling” with women was what pirates did best?

  20. Sigg3
    Nov 26th, 2007 at 6:10 am

    Interesting that the article fails to mention that most pirates practiced homosexuality by rank, and that women were not allowed on board whatsoever.

  21. drummerforpeace
    Dec 1st, 2007 at 3:27 am

    pastafarianism heaven has weed forests right?

  22. Tyler K
    Dec 2nd, 2007 at 6:49 pm

    I think Half Bottom L his AO a little too much there,
    Chris.

  23. Seriously
    Dec 7th, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    quote[the term jolly roger likely stems from the fact that pirates enjoyed taking part in rape, and a “roger” in old english was sometimes meant as “fucker” so “jolly roger” was a “happy fucker”]quote

    Don’t make stuff up. “Jolly Roger” comes from the French “joli rouge” (meaning “pretty red”), a reference to the red flags. It could also just be a reference to the grinning skull, or, as the article says, a corruption of the name of the pirate Ali Raja.

  24. ivan
    Dec 13th, 2007 at 10:59 pm

    a good, but tiny start to demystifying pirates. They were paid mercenaries for the English and possibly others. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were an unofficial part of the Royal Navy, much like paramilitaries in Colombia. They would steal gold and silver from the Spanish, who killed and enslaved natives to get it. There were safe ports in the English colonies, so the pirates could hide when the Spanish came after them. I don’t see any romance to pirates. Returning to the comparison of the paramilitaries, I wouldn’t think of bunch of mercenaries that go around doing the dirty work for their master something to romanticize.

  25. Ajan
    May 16th, 2008 at 7:55 am

    @ Ivan
    So, we can also assume that Bin Laden is a puppet of Bush who would help him to get some cookin oil in Iraq??

  26. mung
    Jul 20th, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    RE: seriously
    You’re right mate. Early pirate flags were a white flag dyed red which signified that surrender was expected or blood would be shed. The French dubbed this “Le Joli Rouge” or “the pretty red” as you said. The name caught on and when the skull and crossbones came into use he became the Jolly Roger.
    As for the vicious reputation that pirates were given, well, most merchant ships upon seeing pirates surrendered immediately without the slightest struggle. Upon returning home they made up tall tales of the alledged atrocities they faced in order to avoid being called cowards, kind of like a guy telling his friends he got beat up buy six guys instead of one. This suited pirates just fine since it facillitated the process of plundering.
    Pirates were given a bad rap. They were simply free spirits that were sick of the system. Sick of watching the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. They were the forerunners of democracy. Read up on them and speak out in their defence. Give them the honor that they deserve. Edward “Blackbeard” Teach’s only wish wasn’t to be rich, but to be remembered.

  27. mung
    Jul 20th, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    RE: ivan
    Ye be dead wrong me bucko. You’re thinking of privateers which were scum in service to various monarchies and used as a patsy. Pirates answered to none but themselves and their crewmates. The Cap’n was even elected by popular vote and could be voted out at any time if considered incompetent. And I’m not referring to mutiny which is what happened on mercahnt and navy ships when underpaid and overworked sailors got fed up and decided to give the heirachy what they deserve. Do your homework and quit spreading lies ye scurvy dog.

  28. 76
    Oct 22nd, 2009 at 10:39 am

    not piarate lore

  29. Alex Kelly
    May 23rd, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Long live the Pirates, chosen people of the FSM. May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage. RAmen.

  30. The_Joker
    Aug 18th, 2010 at 7:58 am

    I don’t get those people always comparing pirates and ninjas. What the hell does they have to do with eachother? Comparing pirates and ninja is pure idiocy.
    We’re talking pirates here, so faggots can shove their ninja up their asses, most of them probably not knowing any shit about ninja since they just watched Naruto, thinking they actually learned something. Bunch of losers.


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