Mozart's Secret Composition: "Lick Me in the Ass" Song

Would you ever believe it, Mozart once wrote a party song titled ... Lick Me in the Ass!

Mozart's widow, Constanze Mozart, sent the manuscripts of the canons to publishers Breitkopf & Härtel in 1799, saying that they would need to be adapted for publication. The publisher changed the scatological titles and lyrics to the more acceptable - and saleable - "Laßt froh uns sein" ("Let us be glad!"). The original, unbowdlerized manuscript and lyrics were discovered in 1991, with the manuscript for another Mozart work, "Leck mir den Arsch fein recht schön sauber" ("Lick me in the arse nice and clean", K233; K382d in the revised numbering), although later research has indicated that the latter composition is probably the work of Wenzel Trnka (1739-1791).

And here are the lyrics:

Lick me in the ass!
Let us be glad!
Grumbling is in vain!
Growling, droning is in vain,
is the true cross of the life.
Thus let us be glad and merry!

Link [Wikipedia] - Thanks violet/riga!

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"Leck mir am Arsch" is still a modern German-language phrase that basically means "kiss my ass". When translated literally, it does say lick me on the ass, but it's a colloquial phrase and likely is not meant literally.

An Austrian young man told me 10 years ago when I studied abroad there that "Arsch" and "Leck mir am Arsch" were among the dirtiest swear words.

Die schlimsten Schimpfwoerter
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While I can't confirm or deny the authenticity of the song, I'm not at all surprised. Little Wolferl (diminutive of "Wolfgang") was notorious for making grossly inappropriate jokes, had a habit of spontaneously spouting strings of rhyming words (usually vulgar), and didn't care a fig who overheard him. Wonderful musician, amazing composer... but not someone you'd want to have at your party unless everyone was quite drunk.

Then again, we're not sure exactly HOW vulgar this sort of thing was at the time it was written. It certainly was considered vulgar, but it may have been thought of as no more "shocking" than something Bart Simpson would say would sound to our ears. I say this because a good deal of the "naughtiness" of the 18th Century was suppressed in 19th Century histories (which treated Mozart as a well-behaved musical genius and made little or no mention of his bizarre behavior), so we have a rather "sanitized" view of the past. Also, the song "Yankee Doodle," well-known to all American schoolchildren, is really a very raunchy song that basically says, "The soldiers of the Continental Army are a bunch of sissies who are so ugly they have to masturbate ("yankee doodle") because the ladies won't go near them. Also, Thomas Jefferson is a dandified fop who thinks his "macaroni" is such a great invention..." The song became popular in the Colonies immediately (despite the fact that it was intended as an insult), and was sung by children after the Revolutionary War was over. My guess is that it was not to be sung in mixed company, and that it was felt there was no harm in young children singing it, because they wouldn't know what the slangs meant. As with many slang terms, these fell into disuse, and it wasn't long before even strait-laced schoolmarms were teaching the song to their pupils, with no idea how raunchy the song was. (If only they knew what it meant!)
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So, next time someone throws the "oh, this new stuff the kids listen to is appalling" Ill remind them of Mozart.
Somehow that "pole grinding" song is starting to sound more romantic by the minute.
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