Funniest High School Analogies.

Yes, this list of the funniest (or worst) analogies written by high school students is quite old (and you’ve probably gotten it as a viral email), but it’s still entertaining nonetheless. Some gems:

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

See more: The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers)