Philosophical Powers Action Figures.

384-322 B.C.E.
Nationality: Greek

Group Alliances:
"Angry" Ancients
"Vicious" Virtue Ethicists

AKA: Careless Aristotle
"Spare Us" Aristotle
Aris-Total Destruction
"Beware His Throttle" Aristotle
The Philosopher

Powers: walking

Weaknesses: some people think maybe he could have taught Alexander the Great a little more about diplomacy

Notes: The high quality of this product is ensured by the four causes at work in the manufacture of the toy: the plastic, the assembly line robots, the designers’ creative ideas, and the profit from retail sales to spoiled children. Also, the following reasoning establishes that children will love the Aristotle action figure: All Philosophical Powers® figures are totally awesome. This toy is a Philosophical

Firedrich Nietzche
1844-1900
Nationality: German

Group Alliances:
"Exacerbating" Existentialists
"Aggressive" Atheists
"Reprehensible" Relativists

AKA: Beat-ya Nietzsche
Nice Guy Freddie
Right Said Fred
Zarathustra

Powers: remarkably original, ahead of his time

Weaknesses: crazy