Campfire sausage holder. You have to use sausage not hotdogs because the points are too wide for thin hotdogs. Stick them on the dull points and put it into the campfire. yummy!
size large t-shirt "mmm...pi"

It's a tool for people who dye cloth. It grabs the wet cloth from the vats so you don't have to use your hands.
size 2xl t-shirt
"Fine line between genius and insanity"

It's a medieval chastity belt key. My mom has one just like it but it doesn't work...
size large "Math Puns are the 1st sines of madness

It's for carding wool.They usually come in pairs.

"I do all my own stunts" size large

Guess Wanke went over to the dark side. That's where the cookies are. Right? Guess Wanke won't be stealing anymore peoples' cookies. uh huh

I moved to Louisiana 2 years ago (job related) and in the early evenings we have a bobcat (lynx, same animal, different name) come strolling up our backyard once in a while. Their fur has the blue-gray coloring of smoke with dark brown coloring on it's spots and their hind legs are longer than their front legs so their stance looks a bit off. This bobcat is absolutely stunning in it's beauty. This is one of the nice things about where I live.

It's a bottle opener. Pops the metal tops off of bottles.
Flying monkeys t-shirt 2X

The only way I'd drink that is if I were really drunk and someone dared me to do it and a large amount of whiskey was added to the glass first.

"is highly prized in China and the Far East, where processed sea cucumbers can sell for extortionate prices." I've never heard of the word "extortionate" before. Is that a cross between exorbitant and extortion?