Well, I might go hungry for a little while. I'd certainly miss a meal rather than mess up these garlic mashed potatoes with chili sauce that take the form of the Joker under the expertise of De Meal Prepper, a Dutch food artist. She's a master at turning foods into edible works of art worthy of being served in a museum restaurant.

When he was 19 years old, Robert W. VanSumeren stood before the bench of Judge Michael Smith in Hillsdale County, Michigan. His life had gone out of control and he had committed a series of robberies, including a bank. Judge Smith sentenced him to six years in prison.

It took him a long time, even after he got out of prison. But VanSumeren took the help that people in his life offered him and began climbing upward. He went to community college, then university, then graduate school, then law school. He married a good woman and fathered two sons. The Washington Post shares his story:

“The feeling of being on the wrong side of the law makes such a powerful stamp on a person,” he said. “I felt strongly that the judicial system needed people like me at the table.”

After passing the bar exam in July 2018, VanSumeren underwent a lengthy investigation by the Michigan bar’s character and fitness committee. Last month, he got approval to be sworn in.

VanSumeren then asked Judge Smith to administer the attorney's oath. The judge agreed:

“I didn’t know if the judge would go for it, but I thought it was worth asking,” said VanSumeren, who lives in Jackson, Mich., and passed the Michigan state bar exam on the first try.

Smith said he was astonished by the request. But he was also delighted.

“I have to take my hat off to him — he has changed his life,” Smith said. “It’s really quite remarkable and rare. Very seldom do you see such a successful turnaround.”

-via Instapundit | Photo: Dana M. VanSumeren

Estimated value of Portrait of a Lady by Gustav Klimt was $66 million--assuming that anyone could ever find it. The painting vanished 23 years ago from the gallery in Piacenza, Italy where it hung. Recently, a gallery worker found it inside one of the walls.

On Feb. 22, 1997, thieves broke into the gallery through a skylight. It is likely that they discovered that the painting was too large to get out through the skylight and so decided to store it on site. The BBC reports:

That was until a worker clearing ivy from the wall of the gallery where it was stolen stumbled on a metal panel.

Behind it lay a recess, within which was a black bag containing what appeared to be the missing painting.

Checks are still being carried out on the recovered work, which has been handed to police.

But gallery director Massimo Ferrari is confident the original has been found, because it has the same stamps and sealing wax on the back of the painting.

Police are investigating whether the thieves had left the painting hidden with the aim of removing it when worldwide media attention moved away from one of the most notorious art thefts in years.

-via Messy Nessy Chic | Photo: Yorck Project

This is Gordon. He's an English Mastiff--a mountain of a dog. Every morning, when his little human and her friend wait for the morning bus ride to school, he watches them. No harm befalls her. When that duty is discharged, he jaunts back to his manor to await the little human's return.

-via Ian Miles Cheong

In Qiliang, the village where Liu Xiaodong lives, papermaking is a craft that has been handed down from generation to generation for a thousand years. This bamboo paper is used in traditional calligraphy. Liu has developed a new way to make this bamboo paper--after pandas have processed the bamboo a bit. Xinhua reports:

Noting the abundant bamboo fiber in the poop of pandas, Liu came up with the idea to make paper with it. He hoped that the beloved animal could help him save the dying craft.

For three years, Liu worked on realizing the idea and finally made it in 2017 after hundreds of experiments. The panda waste was collected from a nearby panda conservation center.

Workers first rinse the poop and beat down the fiber into a pulp, and then add the juice of kiwi fruit vines and stir the pulp. Finally they add the mulberry bark, screen the paper, and press and dry it.

-via Dave Barry | Photo: George Lu

Harry, a doctoral student in New Zealand, refers to his octopus as "evil." The octopus in question appears to share similar sentiments about his biologist. He says that, four months ago, he accidentally knocked over a pipe where she was hiding.

She can carry a grudge. The octopus sucks up water from a pump and spits it at Harry when he walks past. The video above is from one of her unsuccessful (but recorded) attempts. Harry has gotten thoroughly soaked.

-via Super Punch

One way to eat a Nobel Banquet meal is by winning a Nobel Prize. That's kind of difficult, though. You have to be really good at something, and, unfortunately, the categories of that something are tightly restricted. Unfairly, really. I mean, there's not even a Nobel Prize category for monster trucks, which shows how out-of-touch the Nobel Committee is these days.

Anyway, you can still eat like a winner at the Stadshuskällaren, a hoity-toity restaurant in Stockholm. Upon reservation and request, diners can eat any of the meals offered at the Nobel Banquets dating back to 1922. The Smithsonian reports:

“The Nobel Banquet is a celebration that’s known worldwide, so we thought it would be a good idea to let everyone have the opportunity to enjoy the menus and taste what it’s like,” says Maria Stridh, co-owner and CEO of Stadshuskällaren. “It’s a fun thing to do if you’re traveling from another country and want to try something special that’s related to Sweden. Often people will select a certain year that’s important to them, such as the year that they were born or the year when someone from their country won the prize.”

-via Nag on the Lake | Photo: Stadshuskällaren

Etsy seller Aunt Marty wants to protect both your dignity and your nose from the winter cold. She crochets cute animals that wrap around your face, garbing your schnoz with an animal. In addition to puppy forms, she offers skunks, pandas, cats, ducks, and roosters.

-via Design You Trust

Are we doing codpieces again? Yes, we are. The fashion world is demanding it of us and we must obey.

Don't scoff. They're a symbol of traditional masculinity--assuming one looks back to the Sixteenth Century, when codpieces were all the rage in Western Europe. Rachel Tashijan writes in GQ about a recent podcast discussion between fashion designer Thom Browne and fashion historian Michael Glover about the codpiece:

Like many objects sprung from delusional masculine grandeur, the codpiece is a punchline, yet so much more. “The codpiece is all about boastfulness and braggadocio, sad men pretending to be more than they could ever hope to be,” as Glover diagnoses in his book, and in a recent phone call, he shared the more pedestrian details: “It would have had to have a fairly hard exterior, probably made of leather. Inside, the padding would probably have been horsehair.” (Horsehair is very breathable—hence its starring role in the world of luxury mattresses.) It would have been measured, he confirmed, though a brief google search reveals that if there was once a special term for the profession of codpiece measurer, it has been lost to the sands of time. [...]

A runway fashion observer may not know “the history of it, but they know of a codpiece,” Browne explained in a recent interview. That vague sense of historicism gave the collection its edge of madcap humor, underscoring that the codpiece’s more familiar contemporary cousin, the cup, is far from immune to that same ridiculous interpretation. Rendered in seersucker and affixed to dresses, suits, and dresses that looked like suits, the codpiece, Browne said, was “somewhat for decoration, and for humor.”

Codpieces could be a nice addition to your wardrobe. But you could go even more retro with a New Guinea penis gourd.

-via Ian Miles Cheong | Photo: Etsy seller The Armored Dragon

The red leviathan had risen from the abyss to consume the symbol of the glory of America.

Fortunately, these Canadians were on site to rescue it. John Ilett and his friends, salmon farmers, came upon the scene off the northern tip of Vancouver Island. They closed the distance, hooked the beast on a pole, and pulled it off. CNN quotes Illett:

Ilett said he's been working on the water for about 20 years and admits he's seen incredible things, but this encounter ranks as the coolest to date. "It's moments like this why I love my job and being out in the environment where I can work and live," he said. "It's just amazing."

Illett has been reading comments on social media discussing whether or not his team should have intervened and said it's a different feeling when you're watching the situation unfold in front of your own eyes.

"Am I at fault because I'm human and I felt compassion for the bird?" he said. "At the end of the day both animals are alive and well and they went their separate ways and we feel pretty good about what we did."

Thank you, Canada.

-via Richard Hernandez

Oh, sure, a lot of you were skeptical of the duct-taped banana being a work of art. But it sold for $120,000 before a performance artist ate it.

Now that's art.

And so Dave Pollot is continuing the banana meme with this gorgeous landscape featuring a duct-taped banana attached to a mountain. He is selling at auction to benefit a charity. So far, the price is $4,500.

That's a far cry from $120,000. But let's admit it: taping a banana to a wall requires skill worth $120,000.

A stick was a unit of measurement in medieval England. 25 eels is a stick. 10 sticks is a bind.

Why is this important? Because that's how your landlord expects his rent to be paid.

Medieval scholar John Wyatt Greenlee has a lot to say about eels. Eels were a big deal back then, when they were plentiful and good eating. They could be used, to an extent, as a form of currency. Greenlee has found that during the 10th and 11th Centuries, there were 221 known eel rental agreements requiring the payment of 539,785 eels. He has an interactive map of eels rents for your convenience. So pack your hovercraft and pay up.

Michele Banks has a good question. I speculate that these digital eel services were available in more modern markets, such as London and York.

-via Marilyn Terrell | Photo: John Wyatt Greenlee

The faithful dog in Ipeúna, São Paulo, Brazil, saw that his human packmate was injured. He desperately needed canine support, especially as other, possibly hostile humans were converging around him.

Eventually, he broke free from captivity and rushed to his packmate, placing himself between his friend and numerous enemies. If it came to a fight, he would fight.

You can see the moving full video here. May all humans be worthy of such dogs.

-via Marilyn Terrell

Üziel Valles was a happy man, for he had a truck. It was a lovely and vigorous Chevrolet Silverado. Alas, it had one flaw: a yellow hood on an otherwise white body.

John Payan was also a happy man with a Silverado. He, too, loved his truck with the exception of one flaw: a white hood marring the appearance of the yellow body.

Valles posted on a private Facebook group called Denver Dropped Trucks. His cri de coeur was for a white hood. The Internet summoned his truck's soulmate, which was owned by Payan. Jalopnik describes their love story:

Enter: John Payan, who just so happens to have an all-yellow truck with a white hood. Is this destiny? Proof that soulmates do exist? I can’t say for sure, but whatever the case, it’s still a better plot arc than anything that made its way into the Twilight series. [...]

He and Payan even still appear to chat, which is the only thing I could have ever asked for from this story. I could not have accepted any other conclusion. These two fellas swapped hoods, and now they’re bros for life.

-via Core77

America's favorite Christmas movie is now a live ice skating entertainment show. Die Hard on Ice is . . .

Okay, there's no actual movie yet. It's just a parody trailer. But keep in mind that movie Machete started out as just a fake trailer (NSFW) bundled with the Tarantino film Grindhouse. We could see a Die Hard on Ice movie. This time, John McClaine won't be barefoot on broken glass.

-via Dave Barry