Most food products quickly depreciate in value, but not fruitcakes! Consider diversifying your investment portfolio with one. After seventy years, you can sell it at a high price:

Elite Estate Group sold the cake in an auction on its website. Company owner Larry Chaney says the man, who wanted to remain anonymous, probably bought the cake as an investment. [...]

The cake was made in 1941 by The Kroger Co. It was returned unopened to a Kroger store in 1971. The manager took it home and kept it until recently when his son was helping him get rid of some things and gave the cake to Chaney.

Link -via Dave Barry | Photo: Elite Estate Group

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In 1948, the Russian dance troupe Berezka formed, taking its name from the Russian word for birch tree. Audiences were mesmerized by its special step, hidden beneath the dancers' long, flowing dresses. They appear to actually float over the floor! Skip to about 1:30 in the video to see this effect.

Link -via The Presurfer

Will Santa be confused by where to put the presents? No.

Kudos to Ryan Kelly, Jason Roberts and Chris Schuster, the brilliant crafters responsible for this Christmas tree.

-via Super Punch

UPDATE 12/25/11: Ryan emailed me with more information and pictures. You can find them below the jump.

Flickr user Lady Oracle calls this "The most rockin' fence in E-Town." That's Edmonton, Canada, I think. And this house is roomier than the house with the ukulele fence.

Link -via Offbeat Home

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The predatory tunicate Megalodicopia hians is, thankfully, only five inches across. But just wait until some ambitious young mad scientist gets a grant to enlarge it through genetic engineering! When that day comes, those who mocked Aquaman will regret it.

-via io9

He's more tableware now than man. Alain Bellino sculpted this Darth Vader bust out of old pieces of metal, including silver spoons for the eyes and cabinet hinges on the mask.

http://www.behance.net/gallery/Darth-vader/887429 -via Technabob

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Brenda Hewlet had zero experience with hockey, and even had trouble walking out on the ice. But she still made a shot that would challenge master players. From 114 feet, she drove the puck into a hole that appeared to be about a inch wider than the puck itself. For this amazing performance, Ms. Hewlet won a new truck from a local Ford dealership.

-via Jalopnik

A far better choice than Barbie dolls, don't you think? Jonas Laberg had to come up with a gift for two girls, aged five and seven. So, as you might expect, he made the form of a creepy dead pig out of twenty-two pounds of marzipan.

Link -via Geekosystem

[Photo deleted by request of owner]

What's most impressive is the shading of the background (assuming that's not just back hair). The husband of Boards.ie member whoopsadaisydoodles acquired this tattoo, no doubt to impress him/her.

Link -via Geekologie

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What did Neanderthals sound like when they spoke? Apparently like Monty Python actor Terry Jones whenever he plays a female role. According to anthropologist Bob Franciscus, Neanderthals had, compared to modern humans, narrow vocal tracts, larger nasal cavities, and deeper chests. This video shows a man trying to simulate what they might have sounded like.

Link -via Boing Boing

Do you remember that coworker who was always on break? He's now turned to crime:

Authorities say a Tampa Bay area man ordered a beer at a bar, left to rob a nearby bank then came back to finish his beer. [...]

A bartender there said Whittle ordered a beer, disappeared for about 30 minutes and then returned to his beer. Deputies say they arrested at the bar about 10 minutes after he left the bank.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/12/23/2558895/deputies-man-returned-to-beer.html -via Dave Barry | Photo (unrelated) by Flickr user Ty Nigh

Previously: Bank Robber Stops for Lunch Nearby

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In full makeup, YouTube user AwakenRain looks just like a cat. But that's not what's so unsettling about this video. It's that she sounds just like a cat at the same time.

-via Fashionably Geek

Yeah, we could put up some pretty light display this year. But why bother? It's a lot of work, and for what? Joe in Tuscaloosa, Alabama spotted this expression of apathy in his neighborhood.

Link -via Blame It on the Voices

But can she stay balanced on one leg as long as a flamingo? Gesine Marwedel is an amazingly good body painter who creates convincing landscapes and animal pictures on human bodies. Content warning: nudes.

http://www.gesine-marwedel.de/galerie-1/ (Google Translate) -via My Modern Met | Photo: Thomas van de Wall

Of course, prudent people are already prepared with full suits of armor in our bunkers, ready to wear. But those of you who are still sipping your lattes and going to book club meetings instead of getting ready for the impending collapse of civilization (hint: robots) should take notes from Ivan Owen. He'll show you how to improvise armor from everyday objects, from hubcaps to street signs.

Link -via Make