Born Rich, a blog devoted to chronicling the most expensive, luxurious items around the world, has a roundup of very pricey toddler care items. This is a portable potty by Amanda Jenner of Swarovski. Encrusted with crystals, it costs about $1136.

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If I could afford the age progression software, I would totally do this. Really, this is why teenagers were invented.

This image is from Lamebook, a compendium of amusing Facebook status updates. Presumably it's somewhere in the archives, but I'm at a loss to find it.

via The Agitator

In order to motivate student performance, a school district in Fort Worth, Texas, gave a 2011 Chevrolet Camaro to a student who demonstrated excellent attendance records and grades. Here's how the game worked:

They drew the names of 25 lucky students from inside the district's TV studio. Students earned tickets throughout the year based on their academic performance. Better attendance and higher grades meant more chances to win.

"We do a tally, and they receive their tickets, put their names on them, put them in the hopper, and cross their fingers and hope they win," Parker said.

Kenzie Deaton won the car. But she's only 14, so she'll have to wait a while before she can legally drive it.

Link via Jalopnik | Photo (unrelated) via Flickr user Vineesh Devasia used under Creative Commons license

Some of my fondest memories of my maternal grandparents consist of standing in front of the grandchild growth chart on their wall and getting marked whenever I visited. Then they moved and the chart was gone because it was just a part of the wall of the house. But with this project by Emily, a mother and crafter in Washington, D.C., those memories can be transported and kept indefinitely. At the link, you can find instructions and a cute picture of her daughter Molly standing with her growth chart.

Link via Craft

And it's time for you to walk on your own. Laura Miller's photoblog Walk is a tour of children who are still in strollers, though they're really old enough to walk on their own. Miller gets hate mail for her work.

Link via Nag on the Lake

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Taco the dog wants to be like his hoomin puppeh, so he crawls, too! He has a ways to go, though, as the baby is faster.

via Ace of Spades HQ

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I was early in toddlerhood when I got my first swimming lesson. But this program, Infant Swimming Resource, is different from conventional swimming instruction. It's designed to teach babies to roll on their back and assume a posture that will permit them to survive until they are rescued. As the frightening demonstration video shows, it appears to be effective.

Link via Doobybrain

Previously: Can You Swim Well Enough to Save Your Child?

Have you read the children's book Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney? It's a delightful conversation between a child and his father/mother as they prepare for bed. Little Nutbrown Hare wants Big Nutbrown Hare to know how much he loves him, and it's a whole lot. But Big Nutbrown Hare loves him right back even more. The person who got this tattoo showing a scene from the book writes:

My mom used to read this to me all the time when I was really little and it has always been one of my favorite books. My mom and I were never too close when I was younger, but after my parents got in a divorce 2 years ago our bond is stronger than ever. This tattoo commemorates our close bond now. The words say “I love you right up to the moon… and back” in my handwriting.

via F-Yeah Tattoos (NSFW title, but the content's okay)

Etsy seller Mazter made these gorgeous knitted pants and offers patterns for them sized from 6 months to 5 years. She notes that they're not hard to scale up to larger sizes, so, Alex, you've got something to look forward to this Christmas.

Link via Boing Boing

There's a Girl Scouts robotics team called The Flying Monkeys. That 11-13 year olds are being productive with technology is cool enough already, but there's more: they made a prosthetic writing device for a 3-year old who was born without fingers on her right hand.

The girls consulted a prosthetics maker and an occupational therapist and came up with a design that has a platform strapped to the arm as well as a cylindrical holder for writing implements or other tools.

The device helped 3-year-old Danielle hold a pencil with her right arm and write for the first time. It also netted the Flying Monkeys an FLL Global Innovation award of up to $20,000 to patent the invention, which they have applied for

Link via Make | Photo: Girl Scouts

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I've tried the Duck Season, Wabbit Season trick on my toddler, but I've never been successful. This parent, however, was made it work. If a person insists on contradicting you, just reverse yourself.

via Geekosystem

A crew consisting mostly of children built the largest LEGO tower in the whole world. The 102 foot 3 inch tower is made of half a million bricks. The kids assembled small bricks into larger components about a foot wide, which construction workers then combined from a crane. Four days later, the tower was complete, surpassing a previous record held by Chile.

Link (warning: self-starting video) via DVICE | Photo: The Daily Telegraph

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This dexterous tot will simply slide down the stairs if it will get her to her bottle a few seconds sooner. The video, though, is actually funnier in reverse.

via Geek Dad

Sam Pointon, 6, loves trains. So when the director of the National Railway Museum in York, UK, retired, he applied for the job. And he got one:

In his application Sam wrote: "I have an electric train track. I am good on my train track. I can control two trains at once."

Bosses were so taken with his enthusiasm they offered him a role as director of fun.

Sam said: "It is the best job in the world. I love it. It is good fun.

"My favourite is the steam engine, I like it when the wheels go round."

Asked what qualified him for the role at the railways museum, he answered: "I've been on loads of trains, including the Eurostar.

You can watch a video of Sam at work at the link.

Link via Urlesque | Photo: BBC

Today, being April Fools' Day, is the most difficult day on which to be a NeatoBambino author. It is quite difficult to distinguish between real oddities and fake oddities, especially since April Fool's Day pranks have become very mainstream. So this Crayola product might not be real. It should not surprise us either way that the company might produce markers that reflect a variety of skin tones, although they should be more properly identified as multiethnic instead of multicultural.

Link via Volokh Conspiracy