The wind resistance will be epic.

Most of these are just being polite. Then there is the stupid one about the elevator. If one do not turn around, how does the correct button get pushed?

For good or for bad, you would not have the pleasure of my comments if I had not been wearing a helmet.

This is news? We used this sort of thing 40 years ago to cut apart circuit boards. The "trick" was to use very hard nozzles and frequently rebuild the pump.

I once received a letter with much worse grammar from a college senior who had essentially the same assignment. While I sent an answer, I also copied the teacher and the president of the college telling them that this is what the world would think of them and their their institution.

Wow! A two bedroom apartment in South Orange County costs $2,300 per month. The weather is better and it does come with a garage.

The correct answer to, "Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?" is "President and Mrs. Grant." If you only say President Grant, you only get half points.

As before, utterly delightful.

In CA, undercover, underage shills for law enforcement cannot lie about their age. All bartenders should be trained to ask for the age before asking for ID.

Hah! Especially love the wiper cycle as the car is being put into park.

No one likes this advice, but it needs to be told. These days, I always include the Ira Glass quote: Make art every day. Throw out the first thousand things you make.

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/309485-nobody-tells-this-to-people-who-are-beginners-i-wish

So, after inspection, how long for a patron to make a hole in the fence?