Makes me want to watch Shaolin Soccer.

This is a fork for extracting olives from an olive barrel. It has a convenient device for ejecting impaled olives from the tines. I'm surprised they still make these.
Jedi Academy, XL

"Barkley Marathons?" What kind of wimpy name is that? If you want an exciting prison-themed athletic event, you can't beat the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon
http://www.escapefromalcatraztriathlon.com/

Swim the frigid shark-infested waters of San Francisco Bay, with deadly currents that can sweep you halfway to Japan!

If you make landfall, you then have to assault a random bicycle courier and steal his bike for the second event: a bicycle race through the deadly gauntlet of The Financial District!

Finally, running at top speed up the sisyphean hills of San Francisco!

Only the best and toughest will survive! Only the survivors can win!
(OK, I think I exaggerate a bit on some of the details)

At Crunchyroll News, there was a post about this promotion:

In commemoration of the releases, the retailers across Japan will distribute "Fujimiya Kaori no Nakeru Tissue" (Kaori's tissue paper for your tears) for free on the release day. [release of the opening song single]

OK, so the fish in the animated .gif is actually dead.
That's kind of a relief, since it looked cruel to have it attached to wires like that.

I can't believe Paramount would have passed up such a great product placement opportunity. The permission to use the Klingon insignia on a NASA mission patch would have been there for the asking, I'm sure.

I look at the present-day photos, showing free people enjoying the fruits of their liberty and decades of prosperity on those once-bloody beaches and towns, and wonder at the great gift bestowed on us by the brave fighters on that day. We live in a time of almost unprecedented peace and security in the Western world, in which the nations of Europe, long rivals and enemies, do not raise arms against each other or scheme and plot each others' downfall.
I may view the photos with a blind eye to today's troubles and injustice, but today's Europe is indeed a beachhead for international unity and peace that slowly advances against the forces of violent invasion (I'm looking at you, Putin!). I am glad that the struggle could be won.

When I worked in a nursing home, it seemed like every other woman was named Cora.

Waitaminnit. There's a VACCINE for salmonella that can be applied to chickens?

YES! Make it so!
"Please state the nature of your temporal emergency."

I got 20/30, showing that I am without a clue

Pinatas always disturb me. They are de rigueur for birthday parties here in New Mexico, which sets up the horrible scenario: Excited children, candy, a stick being swung by a blindfolded child. The Pinata opens, and kids rush in, heedless of the blindfolded kid with the stick. It's a recipe for disaster.
There's also the lesson of Pinatas: Good treats come from the cruel punishment of animals.

The parents send their kids to camp, and need to be sure the sheets are soft?
This is CAMP!

I was sort of hoping for Andy Williams . . .

I thought the idea was always to tow icebergs to places that are short on water. Since they've gone through the trouble of attaching the cable, they should just go all the way to California or Arabia.
OK, the article gives us an idea of how long it takes just to get an iceberg towed out of collision course, so I am sure the effort to bring it across the ocean may be a bit much, but the 'towing icebergs to Arabia' thing comes up in Popular Science magazine every five years or so.