You know she’s a keeper if she lets you drive Matchbox cars over her naked curves and make vroom vroom noises.

— Aspersioncast (@Aspersioncast) July 9, 2012

~Original Illustration by: Auke de Vries~

There is no life on earth without water.Because without water, there is no coffee.And without coffee, I'll kill you all.

— Carbosly (@Carbosly) July 4, 2012

I wish there were gloryholes for hugs.

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 3, 2012

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

— @TattooedMisery (@TattooedMisery) October 17, 2011

I recently adopted a highway, since I am unfortunately unable to have a biological highway

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 16, 2012

It was a major lifestyle change but I once went vegan for an entire meal.

— Totes HiLarry's (@VocabuLarry) August 20, 2012

If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.

— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) November 26, 2011

Officer I wasn't texting, I was drawing something.

— andypitz (@AndyPitz) March 27, 2012

~Original Illustration by: MacLeod Cartoons~

My family portraits look more like hostage situations.

— Anthony (@A_Tribs) July 17, 2012

Marriage: Because who wants to be wrong only some of the time?

— DTelf (@DTelf) October 12, 2011

I need a restore factory settings button

— Phoebe (@pwwheelhouse) June 20, 2012

Let's take a minute to salute the real heroes. People without air conditioning in their car.

— Marconi (@MarconiBologna) June 23, 2012