It's a Bolt-Action Turtle Surpriser (BTS as written on the side), slide back the bolt, place the copper end against the turtle's butt and then ...... surprise!!!

Owls - Small - Navy

It's a lice comb for a wooly mammoth, very rare these days.

Princess Diana - Small

It's a Shark Guage. After struggling out of the surf, you put the tool into the wound, count the marks to determine the size of the Shark that bit you.

Everything Is Awesome - Medium

It's an Amish watermelon knife.

What Does the Fox Say? - Blue, Medium

Give the blade, the plier grippy bits, the spring in the handle and the locking function, it's got to be a tool for performing circumcisions (I can't write that without feeling very uncomfortable).

Look Out Schrodinger's Cat, It's a Trap! - Black Medium

It's one of the first artificial Christmas trees. Before plastics became common, scientists searched for viable artificial Christmas trees, this early tin example was quite popular although balancing the ornaments on the shelves proved challenging after a couple of eggnogs.

Asterisk Small Black

It's a summer pegleg for pirates, properly ventilated to ensure adequate airflow and with a hose attachment for sprinkler fun during pirate downtime.

Asterisk - Black Small

It's a toothpick for the time poor. It allows the user to remove stubborn food particles from all around the tooth in one smooth movement.

Asterisk - Small

In the depths of the cold war, a CIA engineer built this weapon, "the Loose Ender." Designed to be used in black op assassinations leaving no loose ends, no one that could be linked back to the agency. However, it never made it past the prototype stage, as the engineer was found dead at the testing range.

Asterisk - Small

It's part of a psychiatric test for the criminally insane. The psychiatrist asks whether the patient sees an item that resembles a duck or a rabbit, notes the answer and then asks the patient to move the beak/ears until it no longer resembles said animal. The patient is determined to be psychotic if he tries to beat the doctor to death with the tool.

Asterisk Small

Asterisk - Small (which seems somehow appropriate)

Obviously it's an iron for doing pleats.

Call Daddy - XL Black

Thor was very proud of Mjolnir, until one day he started giving Bruce Banner a bit too much lip. Suffice to say, that's what's left of Mjolnir after "HULK SMASH!!"

Call Daddy XL - Black

Call Daddy. Black XL

Please

R2D2's grandpa.

Call Daddy Large/Black