Ha! Yes, we internet commenters should give America's greatest prose stylist a lesson on usage.

No Howard W. Campbell, Jr.?

I'd hate to get a leg cramp halfway through swimming that cave.

By the way, I've been to Crater Lake, and it is stunning. The water is so blue that your brain can't quite process what your eyes are seeing.

He thinks being a knee-jerk contrarian makes him look clever. When he turns 14 maybe he'll wise up.

$24.95? You can make your own for practically nothing: http://www.instructables.com/id/Car-key-magnetic-switch-plate-hook/

James Joyce as an influence on Jim Morrison? You flatter Morrison.

@noah: It's a sweater, not a ruffled collar. See the famous portrait of Hemingway on this page: http://www.worldculturepictorial.com/blog/content/work-legendary-portraitist-yousuf-karsh-celebrated-boston-exhibit-churchill-hepburn-picasso-

Wouldn't putting a boot on it have made the point? I guess Lithuania has a different perspective on excessive penalties than the US does.

Third vote for the bowl of rice trick. I got caught in a massive downpour with my phone in my pocket a while back, and thought it was hosed. I left it packed in rice for about two days, and then presto: good as new. And now, eight months later, it's still working perfectly.

Regarding the headline: Where I come from, "asking Betty White to ball" is very, very different from "asking Betty White to THE ball."

Interesting use of the word "really," Geoduck.

I can see the conversation...

Manager: "OK, your love of metal is now classified as a disability."

Tullgren: "WHAT?"

I'm rather claustrophobic, but for some reason this idea really appeals to me.

I'd much rather wear jeans and a t-shirt in a traditional-looking office.

@M.D.: There's plenty of food to feed everyone in the world. People starve because of politics and economics, not shortage.