As predicted in the game Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders, aliens have come down to the planet using a clever disguise to hide their elongated heads (this time it's a horse head instead of Grouco Marx nose glasses and a cowboy hat to be more convincing), and displaying themselves beside their human indentured servants in public Internet photos seeming friendly. This whole Internet meme is to convincing the rest of humanity that high fructose corn syrup is bad for us, while pushing artificial sweetner on us to produce more of their mind controlled slaves for them. They originally had the idea to play a 60 hz buzz through the phone system to make everyone in the world dumber then they are, but with the development of Internet access and 4chan humanity has already done that job for them. Now is the time to forget everything I've said and I shall be the first... make that second to welcome our horse headed overlords.

That mountain monorail looks safe.

“Paid just to sit in a cage three days a week,” she said, shaking her head.

Curious how these creatures prop themselves up on a high horse in order to feel superior. Fascinating.

@Splint Chesthair

Like Marv in Sin City? :D

While this is important information, it should not prove the aggressor to be innocent. Violent rage or not due to possible linking of genetics after the fact does not account for one's actions.

Clearly she was mistaken. That was Goatman she saw.

You can lay the blame on a brand name due to a single incident, or you can do the research. I've heard the same stories about why not to by an HP. The truth is, as far as computers go, is that there are good batches, and bad batches. Some models have great outcomes with few problems, but other times there are particular models with so many issues it's not even funny. I don't know if anyone else has had experience with Toshiba laptops, but twice in a row my stepdad had bought their brand, and on both they started getting vertical lines of various colours showing up on the screen. He replaced the monitor of the first one, and it eventually got those lines showing up again. Still don't know what the issue is with that, if it's a fault of the production of the screens or what.

“I come from a big Irish Catholic family, and my parents kind of instilled in us to do the right thing,” said Mr. Breene.

Never underestimate the power of Catholic instilled guilt. They were lucky to have this guy find it, and put an effort into getting it back to them.

Woot! Keep'em comming Zach!

@El Tonto

I hear ya. They say don't throw the baby out with the bath water... but that damn baby was the one that dirtied it!

@Barb

Makes sense to me. The older generation want to feel young, while the hipsters want people to take them seriously.

You’re all posers! In fact, everyone who commented to this post is a poser... wait a minute, that means I’m a poser too! CONTRADICTION ALERT! BRAIN OVERLOAD!

I don't think he's concerned about people calling him a crotchety old man, or the fact that someone has tried to light his sign on fire on multiple occasions. Those things probably just reinforce his dilutions anyways.

Maybe it's the growth hormones.

I AM A BANANA!