John 19's Comments

Alex, if you want a headshot, you always have to aim. And only headshots kill zombies. You've got, like, a Ph.D. in biology, right? Wasn't basic zombie biology part of the curriculum?
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smfr: Like the old proverb says, a redneck and his limbs are soon parted.

Alex: I don't want to get so close to a zombie as to be within shotgunning range.

In my experience, there's a 'sweet spot' in zombie hunting. With a good rifle, you're more likely to pop a skull at 50 yards than you are at 10 because the stress of being so close to a zombie (i.e. within head shot range for a shotgun) causes a hunter to flinch and miss.
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“Church” and “brawl” are not words you’d normally think of in the same sentence.

Only because in church one's enemies rarely attack so openly. A knife in the back is more common than punch in the face.
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"Excuse me, but is your name Grace? Because I find you irrestistible."

During communion: "Can I get you another drink?"

“You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.”

“God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”

“You may not have chosen me, but I have chosen you."

“Until this moment, I thought I had the gift of singleness.”

"Would you be willing to experience the gift of tongues?

"Hey baby, let's go get Totally Depraved."

"You're the best-looking dish at this potluck."
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This law is typical of the federal extortion racket. When Congress couldn't find a Constitutional basis to make a law raising the drinking age, it just threatened to cut off states unless they did. The law should be repealed if for no other reason than the criminal means used to enforce it.
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Well, LarkNews is mostly insider humor for American evangelicals. It pokes fun at our eccentricities, of which there are many. But it may not be easily understood outside of the evangelical culture.
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Profile for John 19

  • Member Since 2012/08/12



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