After my mother (reportedly) commited suicide when I was two weeks old, my birth father sent me to live with his sister, her husband, and their kids. A year later, my birth father died in a plane crash. Being raised with this knowledge, by an abusive aunt and a loveless home, I suffered severe depression growing up. I thought of suicide often, and even moreso after learning 10 years ago, that my birth father had actually murdered my mother. I've spiralled downward ever since. I've gone through many jobs, gained weight, and don't ever want to leave the house. Fortunately my husband of 26 years has stayed by my side, but is worried about me. I tried taking a Zoloft once through my doctor, but felt I was on an acid trip so I stopped. What medications are out there that won't alter me much, or make me gain any more weight? I need help.