I have actually had guys say some of these lines to me.

This article seems like a spoof to me. Which brings me to the topic of sense of humor. Some of you should get one. No wonder no one wants to be a Christian. You all sound like a bunch of people sucking on sour lemons (ok, I don't know any other kind of lemon...). Lighten up - no one is trying to attack you.

Breathe, just breathe...

Like MST3K, it's just a picture people. You should just relax...

This is a great idea. I live in a place where robbery seems to suddenly be the hobby of many (Tracy, CA). I could put many things in this room.
Hmmm - also a good way to keep pesky relatives off my drum set!!

My Uncle was Walt Disney's best friend, and Walt was like an Uncle to me. He came over to our house for dinner all the time. Walt never got into eastern mysticism, occult or anything else. The tarot cards that came out in the early 70's were not from the Disney Corporation, even though they carried Mickey Mouse's picture on the front. This was someones idea of a sick joke.
We spent many hours in all parts of the park. The tunnels are scary and stinky, because they contain all the stuff that's not glamorous (like the dumpsters). Still, being in all the parts of the park was still magical, and I will never forget it, and always be grateful for the Disney family's friendship to us.