"(the product is banned in the United States because of the small parts it contained may pose a choking hazard for little children)." Well, good! Little children shouldn't be getting married anyway!

I have 3 cars smaller than the Mini. They get more attention than a Ferrari and go 50 miles on a gallon of gas. They're the most fun you can have at legal speeds!

"And she was"

Been there, seen that, moved south!

It's a prehistoric typewriter. Before language was developed, there was only one letter in the alphabet. You would type that letter by pressing the button on top. The knob on the side advanced the paper. You could type out your story: Oo oo ooooo!

Idiot proof, med.

Oh, that's the rest of my licorice twizzler. I lost it when I coughed. Sorry.

Idiot proof, med.

Just a fisherman making the most of the yule tide.

So, does IKEA have a liquor license, or was the monkey sotted before he got there? Too bad he had to drink alone. Maybe the cat will join him next time!

Wow! With reality like that, who needs sci-fi?

How about putting a lead sinker in the slingshot to allow a good cast in restricted spaces?

It's a tuba mute!

Idiot proof, med.

"I am that I am." God
"I yam what I yam." Popeye
"I think, therefore I am." Rene DesCartes
"I think I can, I think I can," the little engine that could.

Somehow, I don't think Emily Post would ever approve.

I dunno, my dad said I should stay away from cat houses. :-/