How about a game show called Firing Squad, where chimpanzees have loaded shotguns and contestants run the gauntlet between them?
Or how about a compact, three-story indoor driving range in the dark?

One correction: Welding torches are not the hottest. Plasma cutters burn at 45,000 degrees F.

Zombie Slaying Family ?

Is that a zombie slaying a family or a family that slays a zombie?

Perhaps "zombie-slaying family" is intended.

You guys need to read more.
Read about the hill Genghis Khan and the Golden Horde, gadding about Asia and stacking mountains of tens of thousands of freshly cut heads in Baghdad, the Indus Valley, and hundreds of other cities and towns.
The Mongols get my vote.

J'accuse-zzi

What's next, an asteroid with diarrhea?

The ability to hop to a nearby pond might be a life-saver in the event a pond dries up.

Where's the helmet?

Probably the husband.

Bah!
Though nothing was original, at least it was poorly executed.

Sweets make you fat.
Sweets make you tolerate being fat.
Sweets make you.

It's not doing my desk any good, either.

Not available to schizophrenics.

By the way, it's worse than you imagine. Physicists claim that absolutely nothing exists until it is observed.

"Look" is meaningless in this context.
Does it mean when the photons hit the observer's retina? When the resulting image is processed? When the processed image reaches the visual cortex? When the processed image is bound into consciousness? When the observer contemplates the bound image?
The take-away here is that physicists use "look" to mean "we don't know what the hell happens here, but accept this meaningless word so that we appear to know what's happening."