I liked my mom's stained glass better. I think I'd like my father's oldsmobile back, too.

A good way to annoy us short-order cooks is to ask for a hamburger that looks like the picture. During the lunch rush.

We don't have any photos of our sandwiches, though, I drew all the pictures myself.

Oh cool, I want a Mad Max paint job. Shabby chic, and looks better than real rust.

Effortless weight-loss has been the root of most of our medicinal follies.

Harness all the sun's energy? That's pretty greedy. Plus, that's the amount of energy the sun creates, not what we actually see.

Wikipaedia's insistence on consensus is beginning to bother me. Sometimes the consensus is "let's vote on it."

Any weirder than Mickey Mouse?

That does sound like an inside job to me.

Hey, asbestos curtains prevented a lot of theatre fires.

When you stumble across a bad idea from the past, remember that likely everyone in the past thought it was a bad idea too. That's why it didn't catch on.

Spiffy car, though.

Seattle may be clean, but it's covered in moss. And if you let the moss get too thick, ferns start growing in it. And then the ivy covers everything and you forget what color your house is. I basically have a sod roof now.

They could also felt the fur and make some manner of trendy hat. You know, I could shave my cat, spin the wool into a ball of yarn, and give it to him to play with.

It ain't that bad. You know, if Dad there ever regrets that little foray into the world of bodily self-expression, he can just move to some place what doesn't speak English and tell everyone it means "Strength" or "Truth" or something. I mean, it's in really nice calligraphy. It could mean strength.

@Justin: Maybe some people like their united brows. Maybe we laugh at your bifurcated facial hair.

That's really pretty.