There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

Was this where Grandma Brunhilda got her saying: "The Devil is in the Details?"

Could be worse . . .

could be a Sparkly Sullen Teenage Vampire Nativity Set.

Jolly:
Are we a little unclear on the concept of a Figure Of Speech?

And anything by Kraft is worth its weight in plastic.

This sounds like a plot for a Wallace and Gromit movie.

Oh crap!

I was able to name them!!

Gotta get some help.

I already had. Some great pictures there. Its just that this line up looks like Snooki, Pauly D, Deena and The Situation.

I dunno-- those four look too Jersey Shorish to me.

Medieval ROFLCOPTER

Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, Who's Bringing The Chips?
2XL

Guess my humour button is stuck again.
It was just that "most important Scottish" and "garbage dump" being used in the same sentence.

"In what will most likely prove to be a garbage dump, archaeologists are finding clues to life in one of the 'most important Scottish excavations in the last decade.'"

Bah!
Obviously written by an Englishman.

"He said he was 'a bit amazed' that the shooting sparked so much reaction."

So dumb and he is carrying a rifle? Where does he think he is? Wassalia, Alaska?

Maybe they all had a slow leak.

Zombie authors??