Wow. It sounds like someone needs approval from her peers very badly. Let's see, your husband disagrees, your friends disagree and your children obviously disagree with your methods. Let's all say this together, inflated ego and massive superiority complex. I would think a smart person would realize that if you raise your kids as if they lived in China, but they do not and probably never will, they might become adults who are out of touch and out of step with the American culture in which they live, and will probably be shunned for their inability to relate to anyone who is not exactly like their mother. What happens when your girls wake up one day and realize that your parenting forced them into an isolated, esoteric corner of Western society populated only by the descendants of Chinese immigrants, where everyone is an intellectual and a virtuoso, but no one knows how to change a tire or make small-talk. How do you say, Mid-Life Crisis, in Chinese? The next time everyone around you is disagreeing with your methods you might consider that writing and publishing a book about how right and how great you are is an extremely transparent coping mechanism. And one that only works if you live in New Haven. If you want to help your kids survive in America, teach them Spanish and don't be too surprised when you see that Violin for sale on Craigslist. Great thinkers, like great doers, are born, not made. Chance plays a great role. Living begets greatness, not listening to your mother. If you are going to restrict your children to a life comprised solely of your direction, then I hope you are the smartest person on the planet, free of all flaws, and eternally correct in your judgments.