I live in Canada and my parents are Korean, they raised me similar to Amy Chua's way of excelling in academics, always being top of the class - In my world, hard work and sacrifice resulted in success...I graduated highschool with 95%+, studied Chemical Engineering in a competitive university and am working a job that others would consider as being sort of successful.
My brother on the other hand, was raised 'western'-style (by the same parents), he was encouraged to be creative, to explore different sports and clubs (drama, skateboarding, drums, lacrosse...) and he lived by the motto 'work hard and play hard'. He graduated highschool with good marks (80-85%) and will be pursuing business in university.
The largest difference that my brother and I have is what makes us happy. I feel happy when I reach what others perceive as being successful - high pay, high social status. I don't really know what else would make me happy because I never really had time or the luxury of exploring my wants or my passions. I also feel like a failure if my parents don't approve of me and I feel I have to repay their sacrifice for immigrating to Canada by being successful.
My brother, feels happy when he is doing something he is passionate about. He will pursue his dreams for the sake of pursing them, and doesn't care what others (including the parents) think of him. He knows, that if he's proud of himself, my parents will be proud of him too.
Maybe people would say I'm more successful, but I know that the person who is happy at the end of their day is the winner in the life-game.
I don't really have a set answer to what would be the better way of child-rearing, but looking at myself - its really frustrating feeling like I'm a heartless money-making status craving robot, I would really hope my kids don't turn out the way I did.
My brother on the other hand, was raised 'western'-style (by the same parents), he was encouraged to be creative, to explore different sports and clubs (drama, skateboarding, drums, lacrosse...) and he lived by the motto 'work hard and play hard'. He graduated highschool with good marks (80-85%) and will be pursuing business in university.
The largest difference that my brother and I have is what makes us happy. I feel happy when I reach what others perceive as being successful - high pay, high social status. I don't really know what else would make me happy because I never really had time or the luxury of exploring my wants or my passions. I also feel like a failure if my parents don't approve of me and I feel I have to repay their sacrifice for immigrating to Canada by being successful.
My brother, feels happy when he is doing something he is passionate about. He will pursue his dreams for the sake of pursing them, and doesn't care what others (including the parents) think of him. He knows, that if he's proud of himself, my parents will be proud of him too.
Maybe people would say I'm more successful, but I know that the person who is happy at the end of their day is the winner in the life-game.
I don't really have a set answer to what would be the better way of child-rearing, but looking at myself - its really frustrating feeling like I'm a heartless money-making status craving robot, I would really hope my kids don't turn out the way I did.