You should be sorry for buying that flying potion! I would have sold you one for $25 and it would have come with a lifetime warranty.Link -via 22 Words...

Sorry, kid. Sometimes, as a parent, you have to do what's best for the gene pool.Link...

Why don't you have a beard? Oh, you're female? No excuse! Begin growing one immediately. It's worth it for all of the advantages that Doghouse Diaries describes.Link...

Oh, somewhere in this galaxy the stars are shining bright;The cantina band is playing, and somewhere hearts are light,And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;But there is no joy on Naboo - mighty Vad...

I've never understood why dental hygenists try to have conversations with patients. Neither has Claire Jarvis of Infinite Nap. Maybe we could use hand signals.Link...

"Take the fifty most murderous, duplicitous, treacherous, and violent people in the world...Now, put them in a room with one seat and make them play musical chairs to the death." Scott Meyer has perfectly summarized the...

But are there 151 girls or 649? Supposedly the number keeps increasing every year, but it's hard to tell. Can you catch 'em all? Or even just one?Link...

Sometimes the coolness of a full handlebar mustache, like a utilikilt, causes more problems than it is worth. Back it off a little for your own safety.Link -via Daily of the Day...

Don't think about the consequences. Just live in the moment. Worries can wait for another day.Link -via Pleated Jeans...

Pid'jin had almost won at the game of love, but he misunderstood which game he was playing. It's an age-old story.Link -via Daily of the Day...