I need to work on my "please don't talk to me" face. Apparently, it's shockingly similar to my "tell me every random thought you have" face @eTHEgoddess...

~Illustrated by: Dennis Culver~ There are bad dates and then there are the...Please let the restaurant start on fucking fire in the next ten minutes kind. - @ecorno2...

~Illustration by: Carnilius R~ A twelve-pack of beer is equivalent to a bouquet of roses in a bromance. - @MauriceBlitz...

~Illustration by: Ingrid Doering~ I'm sorry, the percentage of your sentences that begin with "And I was like" has become too high for me to know you. - @SnarkToast...

~Illustrated by: Jordan Race~ I think a man who knows how to use a semi-colon is sexy. My Ex was never able to deal w/a period much less one that sits on top of a comma. - @HerPinkRibbons...

 ~Illustration by: Matt Lassen~ waiting for my dad to tell a story is like waiting for a document to open in adobe acrobat. -  @LisaGoodwin1...

~Illustration by: Kevin Coffee~ The women I date put the hot in psychotic. - @ProSexTips...

~Illustrated by: John McNamee~ Gyno: Do you have pains after sexual intercourse? Me: Well, they don’t usually call me afterwards, so that kinda hurts. - @CandyWarhole...

~Illustration by: Kevin Coffee~ My heart is a flesh-eating pentagram of neon tantric total death wrath, but sure we can date if you want to. - @brattyunicorn...

~Illustrated by: Brian Hamill~ The only thing I spoon nowadays is Ice Cream. - @DrThanatos...