"Extinct?? When did that happen" "65 million years ago" "And you wait 'til NOW to tell me?! @StephenMangan...

If I could have a super power it would be the ability to turn any food into tacos. @MayorBurnsy...

It's always too early in the morning for bagpipes. - @everydaydude...

Favorite color is purple, favorite animal is a zebra:) - @rockstarronan Ronan Thompson is trying to raise awareness for childhood cancer. He was just diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma....

The way to a man's heart is through a tiny hole made with a scalpel @bubblebathos...

Looks like the last person to use this toilet forgot to "log out." @robbaedeker...

WARNING: If you dress your car up as a reindeer for Christmas, don't get mad when I shoot it, gut it, and mount it on my wall. @NotGaryBusey...

#GoGoDicaprio! WWF Press Release: The Leonardo Dicaprio Fund at CCF Commits $1 Million to WWF to Save Tigers Now - @suuperG Save Tigers Now | Campaign by World Wildlife Fund & Leonardo DiCaprio: http://www.saveti...

Here's the winning pick from the mentalfloss.com contest. The boss sent an email at 11:30 “reminding” everyone that he’s working from home today. He sent it from his Blackberry. - @MeetingBoy...

Is your child sad that Santa hasn’t responded to his letter? Tell him Santa lost his job. @bestworstadvice...