The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa. @DamienFahey ~Illustration by: Kaz Foxsen~...

I'm the absolute best at making up excuses for not exercising. I deserve atrophy. - @BeerBatterBeard ~ Illustration by: Gary Krejca~...

We use the term "snake oil" for anything promoted as a cure-all that doesn't work, whether it is medicine or political policy. But back in the 1860s, Chinese immigrants who worked on the Transcontinental Railroad used oi...

someone told me that the yellow ring around my pupils meant I was psychic, I said, "I KNOW." @therealzooeyd...

At 91 years of age most people are relegated to the retirement home, shuffling around in a walker or a motorized scooter. However Charles Eugster started body building at 85 and now feels fit and energized. Great, th...

The golden age of marketing will finally arrive when playing a Natalie Merchant song makes my iPhone print out a coupon for tampons. - @Just_Alison...

you forgot to mention your homeopathic plumber! They dilute Drano 1:10000000000000 and assure u it will work. - @zdoggmd...

I went for a run this a.m. It was like the running scene from Rocky 1. Not the fun trumpet inspirational good run, the sad lonely piano one.  @NHLShanny...

For Sale: Wedding dress, size 12, worn once by mistake. @VanitiesMirrors...

I would not advise turning your frown upside down. The surgery is extremely painful and not covered by most insurance. - @shariv67...